Jack Monroe #238 Honestly, they're like two stupid pigeons fighting over a discarded doughnut

[Shesaidwhat?]

I remember being very jealous of everyone during lockdown one I didn’t have a garden we had a little back yard so whilst everyone was on a sun lounger I was pinballing between the living room and sitting in the spare room wondering if treating myself to a comfier chair was going to lead to my arrest.

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

Presented without comment..

 

[FrumpyCat]

I quite like Monsoon but I’ve never found much in there to buy, if you know what I mean.
My mum tuts “social workers” as she goes past.

I rather like Monsoon, but my dress sense is more locum social worker than the effortlessly cool look I aspire to.

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

I remember being very jealous of everyone during lockdown one I didn’t have a garden we had a little back yard so whilst everyone was on a sun lounger I was pinballing between the living room and sitting in the spare room wondering if treating myself to a comfier chair was going to lead to my arrest.

I live in a one room flat.. I remember being jealous of most everyone.. i had to stop watching Youtubers who had balconies...

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Presented without comment..View attachment 983298 q

Jack I know you read here so I’m begging you please don’t even think about it.

 

[Pavlova]

Is anyone else feeling a mixture of fury and despondency at seeing these posts from that day 18 months ago?

Almost, almost makes everything seem pointless at times.

Aww no don't let her get to you...just imagine Geoff Capes Jackie weightlifting an eleventy-million kg sideboard up and down the streets of sarfend. And the 'strongest mamapapa in the world' vibes' minus the Geoff Capes mustache - gets me everytime. Edit to add #1: failing that, like the Laurel and Hardy piano sketch
Edit to add #2: pic of Geoff lifting the wads of cash Fack needs to pay her tax bill...

 

[Flash123]

Jack I know you read here so I’m begging you please don’t even think about it.

Not sure I could even fit my (relatively ruly?) labia into those, spare us the unruly!

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Jive Bunny - The Ultimate Collection

I dont know why this made me so much but chef's kiss dear heart ❤

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Oh she's back to harvesting email addresses I see.

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Is this all your clothes that you dyed FUCKING BLACK if I recall you dying all your clothes black only recently in the last couple of weeks which was so much easier for the smol puppy brain to deal with innit, Jack. Jack. Jack .Liar liar pants on fire 🛎

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

So I tried (not with my real email address, obviously).

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh Marm, that has made me chuckle. In the middle of the night as well.

Can’t believe THAT MAN only lets you sign up for recipes, not buying his cast offs. He knows nothing about diversifying.

 

[HansThatDoDishes]

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'Error when subscribing. Please try again'

Thread title?

 

[Pixieboots]

I still am... see avatar

Babe, same xx

 

[HotesTilaire]

This is my thread title nom nom. It’s not witty or clever I’m just FEWMING with this latest bollocks

So poor I sold son’s shoes and toys- but not my Monsoon dress or laptop

 

[Marj24]

gino d'campo has entered the chat

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I'm getting Mr Tumnus vibes from those hirsute legs.

 

[Flivver]

I remember the early days of lockdown wfh. Blazing sun. I had a zoom training thing. I thought I'd take full advantage of the unique sitch, nobody would be seeing me online (huge conference) so I thought fuck it and on with the bikini and out with the perishing vintage garden sun lounger.
You've guessed it, my Mediterranean arse sunk right through the now perished lounger, laptop dropped on the floor.
By the time I'd pulled my shit together again I'd missed the chance to log in to my first lockdown zo and they had reached full capacity.
Oh those halcyon days of whf being a sweet summer novelty in the middle of a dystopian nightmare.
Just thank LJC that by the time the dystopian nightmare became my real life nightmare, i found this nefarious cabal of heinous ninnies. Mithering day and night and maintaining a fine balance between comedy, pure drilled down facts, unbridled wonderment and unfettered surrealism.

Mithering helped me through those dark days too although I was but a lurker in the early days. Missed the DKL ninny fest, I’d have loved that.

In honour of those balmy days of the first lockdown and the continued batshit behaviour from JM -

thread title nom: Unbridled wonderment and unfettered surrealism

 

[Boyo]

See, this is how she survives. Squiggles like this Any other website/subscription, people would try their email address, maybe try it a second time, then it’d be “Sod this” and that would be that. But here we have a squiggle not only repeatedly trying to subscribe but also using multiple email addresses and then, rather than just giving up, messages Jackie in an apologetic tone to try and get it sorted. The mind boggles.

 

[ecdb]

Miguel Barclay once again making an appealing plate of food, no ridiculous costings, no whizzing water and flour to make a cheese sauce, no fish oil, slow cooker or naff scene setting preamble either.

 

[skronkywildcat]

I quite like Monsoon but I’ve never found much in there to buy, if you know what I mean.
My mum tuts “social workers” as she goes past.

Haha my mum’s saying was “all a bit brown rice and sandals”.

 

[discokebab]

Frankly I’m quite surprised she hasn’t clambered merrily been hoisted aboard the Young Carer bandwagon yet.

I'm Grunking because I have huge banner ads that now obscure half the page so constant refresh etc so no idea where this will land but YCP would be ill-advised for Jack as there is a wiiiiide advocacy network for Young Carers in Southend and Essex, I imagine it would easy for holes to be picked in a back story by a well meaning advocate who is seeing things through independent eyes for the Young Carer themselves.
Edited for clarity