Jack Monroe #207 Jack Morley

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The alleged soy sauce drinking was so funny. Those ring pull things are an absolute bastard to pull off intentionally, never mind just casually thinking it's your water. I bet she just accidentally touched the bottle reaching for her water and made up the entire thing because she's sooo funny 😉

Estate agent chaos was also a good one for the sheer ridiculous drama of it all.
 
@Cookiecookie it's @Into_the_tunnel who must not be triggered by <whispers> granola. The very concept of grated corned beef is what is most upsetting to me. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, seeing that pink wet cuboid slab clutched in the veiny hand of a smol pixie, gradually mashing it through the grater into little fatty chunks. Great, now I have heartburn.
 
traumatised sideboard said:
@Cookiecookie it's @Into_the_tunnel who must not be triggered by <whispers> granola. The very concept of grated corned beef is what is most upsetting to me. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, seeing that pink wet cuboid slab clutched in the veiny hand of a smol pixie, gradually mashing it through the grater into little fatty chunks. Great, now I have heartburn.
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Yeah well I had a nightmare about onion police, we all have our crosses to bear
 
@MooBelle is that you?? You’ve taken your DKL rewatch too far!

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traumatised sideboard said:
@Cookiecookie it's @Into_the_tunnel who must not be triggered by <whispers> granola. The very concept of grated corned beef is what is most upsetting to me. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, seeing that pink wet cuboid slab clutched in the veiny hand of a smol pixie, gradually mashing it through the grater into little fatty chunks. Great, now I have heartburn.
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traumatised sideboard said:
@Cookiecookie it's @Into_the_tunnel who must not be triggered by <whispers> granola. The very concept of grated corned beef is what is most upsetting to me. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, seeing that pink wet cuboid slab clutched in the veiny hand of a smol pixie, gradually mashing it through the grater into little fatty chunks. Great, now I have heartburn.
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I do apologise dear heart - I forget how triggering our smol pixie is to so many of us! (Also, I'm really bad at multitasking and shouldn't have commented whilst trying to make my work lunch 😂)
 
Off-topic-ish but given Jack Morley is the patreon Saint of Foodbanks it feels okay? Poca please let me know if I should spoiler
I, discokebab - proud powerlifting statistician, 100% vegan, rat enthusiast, fig roll defender and enjoyer of complicated lingerie albeit worn with aplomb has a request:

My foodbank has major shortages. Tuesday night was pretty dire - there are only so many substitutions you can make before you run out of substitutions. I have had a look at a few foodbank lists around the country and weirdly we all seem to have run out of same things:
Tinned fruit, sugar, tea, milks of all kinds, jam, noodles, tinned spaghetti*

If you are of the means to do so, please donate to your local foodbank.
If you are thinking of buying your 15th sideboard, please donate to your local foodbank instead.

❤ to the cabal

*see your local foodbank site for their list but this is a summary
 
Fruitjack said:
@discokebab can I ask something? I used to buy more, cheaper stuff for the food bank, but then I felt guilty and switched to branded stuff with the idea that I shouldn’t give stuff I wouldn’t eat myself. But in general, which is better - bigger quantities of cheaper stuff, or nicer stuff, or just a mix?
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Honestly all donations are welcome but I know there is always donation admin :) When I choose items to donate myself I tend to go cheaper for some things like jam and beans, spaghetti etc which then leaves a bit more breathing room to get spenny on something like tinned veggie meals, peanut butter and also chocolate/biscuits and other treats.
I've packed parcels before where all the tins are white-label and it does look a bit...institutional...but it is easily broken up with nice snacks and other bits and bobs and the nutrition is still there. Hope that reassures you that there is no wrong way to donate ❤
 
The weetabix is truly haunting especially as so many people have so little, she feels its ok to just destroy food under the guise shes quirky. I really hope that the few biscuits in the box got bashed up and she decided to use those to make people think shes kooky. The thought of her actually doing it is really sad!

i really hope she is still getting support. I. Still think shes still quite ill with her MH
 
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