Jack Monroe #203 Found a packet of pork mince

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @Sideboard Bob (that’s Sidey B to pals) for the words and @Rekyavikgirl (Björk?!) for the thread title! You know what your prize is gonna be, don’t you. That’s right - a nice big jar of anchovy butter, lovingly handchurned by Jack.

Recap of last thread:

1. She was Gollumically proud of her pebble circle.
2. Also of her cockatoo eyes.
3. Felt cute, deleted later.
4. A fellow doctor (just singular) wrote an academic paper on her. Validation with footnotes.
5. She fisted some blackberries into a milk bottle.
6. She wore her deceptively cheery yellow coat and grinned ‘like an idiot’.
7. She made a pork mince and changed the caption once or twice.
8. She put the anchovy butter in the ribollita
and drank ‘em bowl up.
9. ‘Slick, salty, sea-briny, fatty, melty’, ‘wildest horny dreams’ and ‘Hhhhhhnnnnngggghh’ sadly didn’t make the edited caption.
10. Alexa! Play This Is Me from The Greatest Showman.
11. Oh, Jack, those days are magical! Yes, ... but.

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Housekeeping





Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.



There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.



New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Woo hoo! Thank you for the new thread and recap Poca, and yay for me and @Rekyavikgirl for our prize! HASHTAG GRATITUDE MOTHERFUCKERS!

 

[SarcasticEllis]

“Anchovy butter Lovingly handchurned by Jack” is nightmare fuel

 

[Pocahontas]

“Anchovy butter Lovingly handchurned by Jack” is nightmare fuel

Then my work here is done.

 

[Silver Linings]

Poca you are so, so funny.

 

[Emmapism]

I tell you what I haven't half missed a @Pocahontas thread recap. No disrespect to my fellow cabal members of course.

Hold onto your hats gang, this narc wind's a blowin'

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

I tell you what I haven't half missed a @Pocahontas thread recap. No disrespect to my fellow cabal members of course.

Hold onto your hats gang, this narc wind's a blowin'

 

[Hollaaa]

Live scenes from an undisclosed location:


Ooh I did a edit!

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Aah don’t you just love a Sunday?

 

[Falkor]

'Handchurned anchovy butter' sounds like a euphemism for something...

 

[PortiaControl]

Is the kitchen floor still ripped up?! That's what it looked like although it was a bit blurry. We never found out what that was about did we?

 

[Lanie]

'Handchurned anchovy butter' sounds like a euphemism for something...

I hear you can get it in anne summers.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Is the kitchen floor still ripped up?! That's what it looked like although it was a bit blurry. We never found out what that was about did we?

This was posted at the end of May showing the floor back to normal. It was during that big tidy up she did when she emptied the contents of the messy bedroom onto the landing.

 

[NP]

5. She fisted some blackberries into a milk bottle.

There’s a sentence I never thought I’d read.

10. Alexa! Play This Is Me from The Greatest Showman.

I am and

That anchovy butter description is quite possibly the most revolting thing I’ve seen. And we’ve all seen Brenda’s bangers.

 

[PortiaControl]

This was posted at the end of May showing the floor back to normal. It was during that big tidy up she did when she emptied the contents of the messy bedroom onto the landing.

View attachment 724752 q

Ah thanks Marmalade. Think I missed that one. I still find it very odd that I know so much about a stranger's house

 

[skronkywildcat]

Ugh Brenda’s sad foreskin sausages.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

That riff on ribollita is a crime. Don't you know you can get up to five years onion jail time for that? She'd probably get more with the aggravating circumstances of continually trying make fish and eggs sexy when they're a food equivalent of a chastity belt.

 

[Lanie]

That riff on ribollita is a crime. Don't you know you can get up to five years onion jail time for that? She'd probably get more with the aggravating circumstances of continually trying make fish and eggs sexy when they're a food equivalent of a chastity belt.

I sometimes wonder of she gets anchovies and oysters mixed up. Oysters are supposedly an aphrodisiac.

I wouldnt know as fish gives me the boak.

 

[Toffee finger]

Thanks for the new thread Poca. I am full of MOTHERFUCKING GRATITUDE to you!

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Congratulations @Sideboard Bob Excellent thread title!