Jack Monroe #201 Queen of Sharts

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LennyBriscoe said:
I can tell you’re putting a brave face on it Dino, but you’re amongst friends so you don’t have to pretend 😉

Loving the avatar. Be careful though, you might attract the wrong kind of attention…
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Yes... I need something less glamourous and more .. beany

OT.... I've had a rather lovely evening at one of the outdoor Fringe bars... it's much quieter (so far). Table service. Bliss! Didn't see any celebs tho
 
L3moning said:
As methods of trolling newspapers go, that one is quite high up the "pretty stupid" list.
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That’s what I thought too. Obviously the Spectator people are pricks. I can see what this writer was trying to do, and it clearly backfired.
But it bothers me that they didn’t stop it sooner, when they realised the Spectator was going to focus on Marcus. They (the writer person) show no remorse for how their actions came close to having serious repercussions, not just for Marcus and his reputation, but potentially also a knock-on effect on the charities and organisations he helps.

Back to Jack, I want to put in a freedom of information request to find out if there really are tens of thousands of Guardian journalists. If its true they have no excuse for her writing for them again… unless maybe they were desperate one day and all ten thousand writers called in sick?
 
Lanie said:
She would so win bush tucker trials.

Dec: Today you have to eat kangaroo bollocks and fish larvae.

Her: okay, * inhales it all*

Ant and Dec " wow that was amazing and in record time how did you do it"

Her: well if you were aware of my body of work this is in fact lunch.
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She’d be sitting round the camp fire telling everyone how she is incessantly trolled. “They never stop mocking my Tiggy and Bo bag. And…and… (sobs) they said my hair was like a kumquat”
 
Twitter stats for June (July not yet available):

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Compared to last November:

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Marj24 said:
The "specialist services" and freedom of information reminds me of an episode of Law & Order that takes the team to FBI HQ. Richard Belzer is guest starring as Munch, a conspiracy theorist who pops up in many different series.

While at HQ, Munch insists, as is his right, to see his FBI file. When it is finally produced it is one sheet of paper basically saying, all talk no action, not a threat!

Why did Jackie's story remind me of this?
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Oh oh I think I’m in that one!!
 
Marmalade Atkins said:
Twitter stats for June (July not yet available):

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Compared to last November:

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Thank you for this - November, June, and the 3k tweets we scraped all show the lazy bum gets up after 11am and not a minute earlier. Any time she manages to wake before noon she’s on Twitter pretending to be booked & busy.

There are people whose payments bounce on Patreon re joining to keep her nocturnal in a 3 bed house????
 
Flash123 said:
Currently missing Jack’s hot takes on the Gulf Stream Collapse and The biggest kickyball announcement of Messi not staying at Barcelona.
Seriously though there was something a bit weird in how she was always a day or two late with her views on any hot topic, I would have thought being constantly on Twitter would have meant she would have been able to pounce on any trends straight away.
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Seriously? I’m still waiting for her to review the opening ceremony of the Olympics
 
I was having a Monroe google and landed on their Metro articles, they are so badly written, and full of lies. The swede one is my favourite, it's all other people's recipes and this gem of a quote;

I checked the time; the store closed in twenty minutes. There were easily a dozen swedes mournfully bearing their beseeching yellow stickers. I picked up four, paid, and stuffed them in my backpack. I had to stop twice on the walk home to regret my profligacy and roll out my shoulders, but by now, I was committed.

This is the person claiming to be strong enough to move a bloody sideboard, but four manky swedes caused severe back pain, lugging them home in a backpack. Oh my LJC lord!
 
Marj24 said:
The "specialist services" and freedom of information reminds me of an episode of Law & Order that takes the team to FBI HQ. Richard Belzer is guest starring as Munch, a conspiracy theorist who pops up in many different series.

While at HQ, Munch insists, as is his right, to see his FBI file. When it is finally produced it is one sheet of paper basically saying, all talk no action, not a threat!

Why did Jackie's story remind me of this?
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Reminds me more of Arthur Dent looking up the entry for Earth in the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy.


[slight editing required]

“If you’re a researcher on this book politics list thing, you must have been gathering material on it me.”
“Well, I was able to extend the original entry a bit, yes.”
“Let me see what it says in this edition then, I’ve got to see it.”
“Yeah, okay.” He passed it over again.
Arthur Jack grabbed hold of it and tried to stop her hands shaking. She pressed the entry for the relevant page. The screen flashed and swirled and resolved into a page of print. Arthur Jack stared at it.
“I don't have an entry!” she burst out.
Ford looked over her shoulder the top of her smol head, for she was but a teeny tiny smol pixie and her bodybuilding pescatarian shoulders were too broad to allow a mere male to glance over them. He also needed to ensure that his shins were a conveniently short distance away from her teeny tiny smol pixie legs.
“Yes, you do,” he said, “down there, see at the bottom of the screen, just above Zoe Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted bleep of Eroticon 6.”
Arthur Jack followed Ford’s finger, and saw where it was pointing. For a moment it still didn’t register, then her mind nearly blew up.
“What? Harmless Gormless? Is that all it’s got to say? Harmless Gormless! One word!”
Ford shrugged.
“Well, there are a hundred billion stars in the Galaxy Media, and only a limited amount of space in the book’s microprocessors,” he said, “and no one knew much about the nondescript middle classes, of course.”
“Well, for God’s sake, I hope you managed to rectify that a bit.”
“Oh yes, well, I managed to transmit a new entry off to the editor. He had to trim it a bit, but it’s still an improvement.”
“And what does it say now?” asked Arthur Jack.
 
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L3moning said:
As methods of trolling newspapers go, that one is quite high up the "pretty stupid" list.
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The writer doesn’t come across too well. And to be honest I doubt the Rashford story was based on their trolling alone since the rumours were all around tax schemes. But if they thought that the paper were falling for it surely if they had any sense of decent they would have immediately retracted the tit about Marcus’ mother knowing how much tit a black woman would get if something like that was even hinted at never mind published.
 
L3moning said:
I don't know a massive amount about mince, but I do know not to use the very low fat (5%) stuff for things like chili, because it tends to turn to slop.
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The trouble is i dont think you need to know as your not trying to release cookbooks.

I do think its quite unusual that she is making food, yet not taking into consideration the nutrition.

My diss was on nutrition and i had know every single content of the food i was using for the experiment. It was hours and hours of research, reems and reems of boring tit i had to read and condense to fit into my word count.
 
L3moning said:
As methods of trolling newspapers go, that one is quite high up the "pretty stupid" list.
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Yeah I feel like that could have ended quite badly for all involved, damn.

Flash123 said:
Currently missing Jack’s hot takes on the Gulf Stream Collapse and The biggest kickyball announcement of Messi not staying at Barcelona.
Seriously though there was something a bit weird in how she was always a day or two late with her views on any hot topic, I would have thought being constantly on Twitter would have meant she would have been able to pounce on any trends straight away.
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Googling appropriate opinions maybe?
 
MancBee said:
Hahahahahahaha Jack did a freedom of information request to see if she was on the "specialist services" list of activists and terrorists. And of course she was.
Also on the list are "tens of thousands of Guardian journalists". I had no idea the Guardian had such a large staff, no wonder they don't make any money.

Is it usual for government agencies such as "specialist services" to disclose who is on these lists? Surely that would negate any useful purpose of having a list. (No need to answer, I know they would not release such information)

I couldn't listen to any more. The two guys interviewing her were affected tossers, and Jack was playing to the gallery. Her giggling like a teenager was painful.

What does Jack mean by "specialist services" anyway? MI5?
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There was rumours the woman who lived above the dodgy newsagents when I was a teenager offered “specialist services”.
 
Orphan_Black said:
I was having a Monroe google and landed on their Metro articles, they are so badly written, and full of lies. The swede one is my favourite, it's all other people's recipes and this gem of a quote;

I checked the time; the store closed in twenty minutes. There were easily a dozen swedes mournfully bearing their beseeching yellow stickers. I picked up four, paid, and stuffed them in my backpack. I had to stop twice on the walk home to regret my profligacy and roll out my shoulders, but by now, I was committed.

This is the person claiming to be strong enough to move a bloody sideboard, but four manky swedes caused severe back pain, lugging them home in a backpack. Oh my LJC lord!
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Don’t forget the tins of paint
 
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