Jack Monroe #184 Jack Monroe's Big Book of Boak

[People-huv-tae-know]

A bowl/inspo/quote mashup.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

On a Grunk, but as an IBS Frau, I’m clutching my stomach at just the thought of 800g of pickled beans.

Peppermint capsules all round after eating that

 

[Veronicaaa]

Imagine the general savings they’ll make bc one bowl of slop they’ll all be dead

They're not going to make any savings on loo roll, that's for sure.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

They're not going to make any savings on loo roll, that's for sure.

Or Loperimide, you would need a Cotswald Sideboard full.

 

[girolle]

The thread has been on fire today! I'm properly laughing at some of the bowl comparisons. I think the MR and TK campaign could see her sink even further into obscurity. I have a feeling that Mel Donte could be the last paid partnership she'll do? Her reputation must have taken quite a bashing over the past year. I think the only people who will interact with her are squigs and people who are not Very Online (or just those who don't read Tattle lol).

 

[Jelly Bean]

I would not fancy living with Commune Jack. I can't imagine her pulling her weight at all with the boring day to day stuff, but every so often would do some large completely unnecessary task like hauling 18 tins of paint home (whilst feeling ill). This would enable her to make everyone else feel guilty so Jack could take to her bed/sofa whilst everyone else tiptoed around her.

 

[girolle]

I was making poached egg for my lunch and I had to overdo them because I was scared they will end up raw like Jack's ☺

The sight of her eggs always disgusts me. One of the strongest pieces of evidence we have that she cannot cook – the eggs always look like they been out of the shell for no longer than two minutes!

 

[Lanie]

The sight of her eggs always disgusts me. One of the strongest pieces of evidence we have that she cannot cook – the eggs always look like they been out of the shell for no longer than two minutes!

Yum, eggs with a side of semonella isn't that the only way to serve eggs.

I am surprised she doesnt constantly sing how do you like you're eggs in the morning?

Slopped or dried, are you satisfied ...

 

[girolle]

Yum, eggs with a side of semonella isn't that the only way to serve eggs.

I am surprised she doesnt constantly sing how do you like you're eggs in the morning?

Slopped or dried, are you satisfied ...

This reminded me of a pick-up line I once heard. 'How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fried or fertilised?'

 

[Captainmouse]

Full version:
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[BantzMonkey]

A bowl/inspo/quote mashup.
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I ~loathe~ the way she curls her photograph paper up like that, clearly to hide shit behind it. It just looks so incredibly shit seeing the patterned paper bend. She really does think she is a good food photographer doesn't she.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I ~loathe~ the way she curls her photograph paper up like that, clearly to hide shit behind it. It just looks so incredibly shit seeing the patterned paper bend. She really does think she is a good food photographer doesn't she.

It's to give depth of field and a seamless look but yep she fails. Makes me cringe too.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Oh @Captainmouse I think that might be one of the best things I've ever seen Thankyou very Matt much, Matt.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

This reminds me of the Sheela Na Gig carvings in Ireland. Fascinating but a bit in your face and how did they manage the poses? I'd put my back out if I tried that.

 

[Captainmouse]

This reminds me of the Sheela Na Gig carvings in Ireland. Fascinating but a bit in your face and how did they manage the poses? I'd put my back out if I tried that.

mackie started with her selfie

 

[LavaFlake]

Imagine what she would have thought of the shitty bungalow? John Lewis x Cotswold Co nightmare is a perfect summary.

Auto carrot for the spelling of Cotswold. More of an IKEA gal see.

 

[Billybellend]

Going to use Russell Brands now as well. Cabal vernacular is growing

I actually used the phrase ‘use yer Russell Brands’ on site this morning - the plasterer I was talking to was like - it’s now my personal challenge to get that phrase in somewhere, every single day, until it becomes common parlance

 

[Hollaaa]

I actually used the phrase ‘use yer Russell Brands’ on site this morning - the plasterer I was talking to was like - it’s now my personal challenge to get that phrase in somewhere, every single day, until it becomes common parlance

"Wash your filthy Russell Brands!" works well, I think.

 

[Harrybosch]

"Wash your filthy Russell Brands!" works well, I think.

Useful restaurant parlance.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

"Wash your filthy Russell Brands!" works well, I think.

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