Jack Monroe #184 Jack Monroe's Big Book of Boak

Where is Jack?

  • In a traditional hotel

    Votes: 5 0.9%

  • In an aparthotel

    Votes: 164 27.9%

  • Crashing with Louisa

    Votes: 21 3.6%

  • Back at home

    Votes: 13 2.2%

  • Moved in beside dear heart Mancbee

    Votes: 44 7.5%

  • Living in a pumpkin she carved herself

    Votes: 20 3.4%

  • Sleepover with Marcus

    Votes: 8 1.4%

  • Staying in a castle with a really tall bed that has a meatball under 1 of the mattresses

    Votes: 42 7.2%

  • Don't care where she is

    Votes: 270 46.0%
  • Total voters
    587
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The foreword for Jack Monroe's Recovery Recipes by Jack Monroe:

They still wouldn't stop. Even though they knew that I was battling long-held demons, the internet bullies turned to mercilessly mocking my appearance, comparing me to pieces of crockery.

I took a deep breath, although inside I was howling like a shewolf in heat. This band of mithering ninnies, with their shadowy connections to Germany and Russia, had already destroyed my relationship and attempted to sabotage my flourishing career. I had even heard rumours that one of them, based in Manchester, had told Marcus Rashford not to work with me again, accusing me of attempting to murder him through unconventional soup ingredients.

I knew that this time, I couldn't let the trolls win.

I furiously cracked an egg into a cold frying pan, turned on the heat, and added a lick of lard and plenty of black pepper. As the egg cooked for precisely 45 seconds - the ideal time for a runny yolk and wobbly white, transluscent as the skin on an old man's hand - I told myself that I would be strong. I would turn this around.

It was not the first time I'd faced adversary. Back when I was a destitute single mum, my son once looked up at me from his bowl of Weetabix mashed with water and asked... (cont. pg 48)
 
colouredlines said:
Don't worry, dearheart! I'm actually not very fussy about grammar and punctuation, unless I'm preparing students for an exam (in fact, I don't even like to think about it outside work).

I get far more irritated by the mistakes people make when they're trying to sound intelligent/sophisticated - misusing whom, and I instead of and me, reflexive pronouns everywhere ("please contact myself"). Jack's use of vocabulary definitely falls into this category, and I might as well get some digs in at her punctuation while I'm here! 😇
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Babe same. And when it says 'as such' in weird places.
 
MaineCoonMama said:
She looks like a complete knob on that bike. I'm cringing so hard I think I've actually fractured a bone. I'll be taking selfies in A&E if anyone needs me.
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Yeah wouldn't look so good wearing a helmet. Biker Jack???? NOOOO!!

MaineCoonMama said:
She looks like a complete knob on that bike. I'm cringing so hard I think I've actually fractured a bone. I'll be taking selfies in A&E if anyone needs me.
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Yeah wouldn't look so good wearing a helmet. Biker Jack???? NOOOO!!

MaineCoonMama said:
She looks like a complete knob on that bike. I'm cringing so hard I think I've actually fractured a bone. I'll be taking selfies in A&E if anyone needs me.
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See you at High Beech🔺next Sunday Jack (not).
 
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