Jack Monroe #169 Please don’t argue about turnips

[Blurp]

Bet she wouldn’t say no to a flat in the Barbican though (large expensive private tower block in London). Local authority I worked for had some fabulous tower blks with fantastic views. For a working class poverty campaigner she’s such a horrible snob.

Our authority has upgraded all their blocks with a 'concierge' - FANCY! The blocks in my nearest town have all been reclad (planned pre-Grenfell) and had their balconies turned into glazed 'sunrooms' (plus the district heating from the coup) - double FANCY! The ones in another town are all on the seafront with stupendous views - triple FANCY!

 

[EllaEm87]

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Screenshots by @lilamay

Ah yes, they moved the sterile barrier so Jack could breathe all over the surgical field. Obviously.

 

[waffle maker]

I’m Taurus. I just had to ask my kids what star sign they are.

I only have one request for a forever home and that’s an en suite bathroom- it’s my dream for retirement after we leave the desert. If money was no object I would love to live in The Barbican- I looked it up once, not gonna happen!

 

[skronkywildcat]

I caught a glimpse of what was going on in the mirrors around the lights they use when doing the C/S. it was horrible. Also horrible was the sensation of someone doing the washing up in my guts. Still, at least I avoided having labour/ripped flangina.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Better than other girls cos I’m such a bad ass Jack is all the more hilarious when you see her being sickly sweet to Kirsty on Twitter cos she’s scared of her. You’re scared of words on the internet hun somehow I don’t think you’re ripping radiators off walls (unless they’re in daddy’s slum houses so coming off the walls anyway?) or brawling but go off.

Competitive birthing might be a fab cool girl PR exercise for some but it only spreads birthing anxiety for other women and it’s not fair. That ballet pic is lol tho so thanks x

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Spoiler: Off Topic RSM

Blimey, she's really going for it today as it's a bills day. Up there with the Mumsnet threads of, "I'm down to my last £2 and the twins need new shoes."

I mean I did a wow face but I’m not shocked

I'm going to watch this again:

oh nooooo I hadn’t seen this before!

 

[Emmapism]

I take it you are having a good day?

ETA I love posts like this. They sum up everything we all feel at one point or another.

Hah! I'm having a lovely day but I do love to swear. My Dad always tells me that's how he knows I am his child and that he raised me right

I was just outraged as I didn't really know how bad it all was! Shocked lads. Shocked.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

How the hecking heck can she see down there when lying on her back? It wouldn't be physically possible to see your own cesarean surely. I've seen my sisters scar, it is on the lower part of her belly. The baby bump would get in the way wouldn't it? Does she have an overly long neck?

Currently 38 weeks pregnant and can confirm I have not seen my downstairs for some 3 months. Suspect it now is home to brambly mice.

You’re welcome.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

She...goes to the groucho club for black pasta whenever she gets her heart broken? What is this nonsense?!

Also, just noticed I am now VIP almost a year of shitposting has finally paid off and I’ve made something of myself! Off to call my mum and let her know the good news!

 

[Harrybosch]

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Screenshots by @lilamay

Gives me handmaid's tale vibes. Silent labour! Give the woman a medal and some wings. (hat not aviary)

 

[Captainmouse]

It's me that fucked that one up, suggesting today. Thank you for your forensic dip @MarmaladeAtkins

I'm an Aquarius, if we're doing star signs now!

Joins cookie
and toffee

 

[Veronicaaa]

Also, just noticed I am now VIP almost a year of shitposting has finally paid off and I’ve made something of myself! Off to call my mum and let her know the good news!

awww, she'll be so proud

 

[Saint_clemmie]

She...goes to the gaucho club for black pasta whenever she gets her heart broken? What is this nonsense?!

You mean 2 portions of black pasta because she’s such a greedy goblin.

 

[Captainmouse]

Also please don't say she has hyacinth's they are lethal to cats.

They were in her pics and she was wittering on about buckets so I would say yes

 

[Eurgh]

They just give her the saucepan so she can scoff it all with her hands.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

awww, she'll be so proud

Or she’ll think I’ve had a stroke and call the authorities for a welfare check

You mean 2 portions of black pasta because she’s such a greedy goblin.

And because she’s such a regular she’s asked them to keep it on the menu so she can have it again soon...but she can’t afford butter

 

[BananaSmith]

I'm going to watch this again:

The pasta dish we never got to see finished

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Pity the poor midwife who had to secure Jack's unruly labia. I keep thinking of an unzipped tent, flapping in the wind.

 

[Captainmouse]

I’m sure someone else knows how to find the tweet where she said this, but according to her she didn’t make a sound plus she watched her own c-section.

Sooo, if she had a c section then all the stuff about making cakes is untrue and her son won’t get one!

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

The pasta dish we never got to see finished

wait so I’m sat listening to her talk about putting tinned fish on top of cheesey mash and I won’t even get to see the pasta?!