I’m starting to get really
bleeping triggered over her implications that domestic abuse victims confronting
physical violence are the only people deserving of taking legal action against their abusers.
My father has physically harmed me, sure, but he has verbally abused me for 15 years, and I’ll go so far as to say that—in my personal situation—the latter caused more damage to me than the former. It has been proven already that verbal violence can inflict the same degree of psychological harm as physical violence.
She’s REALLY out here disparaging and delegitimizing the trauma of verbal abuse victims, simply because she doesn’t think that “upsetting people” (with some of the WORST verbal abuse I have EVER witnessed) is much of a big deal. Alice, you
bleep, you didn’t merely “upset” them. You DEGRADED them. You DEVALUED them. And you FRIGHTENED them. Don’t downplay the damage of your emotional instability to illustrate yourself as some kind of victim in this. Don’t minimize the impact of the harm you’ve committed.
I just need to get this off of my chest as it has been battering me for weeks: she has BPD. She has NPD for goddamn SURE, but she has BPD. It’s untreated. She’s not receiving help. THIS is what untreated BPD can turn into at its worst. I’m positive now. Again, the narcissism is the main player, please don’t mix them up, but THIS degree of emotional dis-regulation is BPD-associated. I’m a Borderline. I know when I’ve found an (untreated) Borderline. You memorize the symptoms and you understand them because you’ve lived it.
I’m just begging—please don’t respond to this post with tales of your BPD mother or sister-in-law or nephew. It’s just extremely uncomfortable, devaluing, and triggering for me to read in this space; witnessing it in Alice is triggering and upsetting enough. I don’t mean to kickstart a BPD discussion at ALL, as I feel it’ll spiral into talking about how terrible Borderlines are, which is awful because there are Borderlines in here. I’m just offering, as someone who should have the right to say it based on lived experience as opposed to witnessing it secondhand: she has BPD. Or at least BPD traits paired with the primary personality disorder of narcissism. I’m sure of it now.
She’s about to fly off the rails.