IFAM#9 It’s Time For Ifam Thread NINE Commentary On The Channel's Decline, Rip-off tat, Sarah's Boring Chat, Baby Bump or Fat?

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Clarabelle76 said:
Does anyone think the pink fluffy cushion used as a pillow of Isabelle’s isn’t doing her any favours? Isla has a fleece one that was discussed here before, they don’t have removable covers and in my opinion aren’t suitable for sleeping, children sweat a lot at night hence cotton pillowcases are a must, the thought of already sore aggravated skin, sweating into a nylon fluffy cushion all night makes me want to rub my eyes ?
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you could have a point there, I cant have feathers near me as it makes me cough and irritates my chest so no feather pillow or duvet for me, as some have mentioned on here that childs ammune system must be shot as all they do is give them processed junk to eat, it won be helping her period pain either as shes not getting the nutrients needed for a healthy body to fight, my daughter isnt a big fruit eater whereas my 2 sons eat it like its going out of fashion, but I make sure my daughter has a balanced diet with lots of fibre and she eats a banana every day, the occassional apple and some grapes, she is hardly ever ill, whereas her friend lives off maccy s and her skin and hair are in a bad way (by her own admission) and shes always lethargic and ill , something to be said about eating crap all the time , those poor girls know no different, my mum had a crap childhood and didnt show us a lot of hugs , but dad was the opposite a gentle soul who worked hard for us and could emapthise with us, but my mum was a hard worker and was there for us as a result I parent my children showing lots of affection and giving them the confidence to express their feelings not suppressing them , im not perfect by any means but all these children are craving is some private time and some understanding and confidence to show how they feel without being frightened they may upset their grown ups
 
whatamess123 said:
I`d best not check out her "adoption" views then as i (and my brother) were both adopted.We had wonderful childhoods ,and the best parents anyone could wish for.I know it`s not always the case ,and we were extremely lucky.
/QUOTE]

OT but that's so lovely. :) x
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SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT WITH HER..

19 minutes of deluded evasive bullshit

Starts with Lady Gravytrain wittering on about amazing days she is sat on the sofa
rabbiting on about a chaotic morning Isabelle woke up with a swollen face. They have kept her off school and taken her to the doctors. Doctors reckon it's an allergy. They haver to go out and get two of the kids new trainers which is bleeping amazing when you think that each one has so many pairs already. Because these kids trainers are so special they have to go to opposite sides of the city to get them. At this point I couldnt help noticing the shadow of Sarahs makeup line. They don't like leaving Issy in the house on her own. Maybe they are tit scared she may look at the bank statements
Talking of money Granny Grimm is popping over to look after her.
Sarah wants us to comment as parents what age we felt it was safe to leave our kids on their own. It's great that you can join in. And kids can comment too
So inclusive so inspired

Sarah says she always struggles with that question basically as I said she is talking tit. Sarah says she is one of those mums that just thinks of the worse all the time. I think she meant to say does the worst.

This dullard chatter is mercilessly cut short and Captain Beanie is next in shot walking down an escalator. He looks a complete pillock.
1.jpg

Chris says she'll never accept help from anybody Err hasn't she just accepted help from Granny Grimm ?

They are strutting round Asda and its for bright pink trainers . Chris tells us he is feeling ab it better today . So much so that he and Lady Fiver share a romantic moment. As these displays of affection are so rare and require immense planning I have thoughtfully captured the moment for you
2.jpg


They are next in the Asda café and they share attender moment discussing Chris's child portion Pizza Pie - don't worry this isn't a reference to sexual deviancy.
Then its back on the shop floor and old Eric the part time store detective looks to check they are taking videos and not stock as he clocks them down the aisle
3.jpg


Chris tells us that Sarah is going cottaging with some mates. I may have misunderstood that part. Chris is very happy chattering away talking complete crap. If this is what a childs portion of Pizza Pie does for you I'm not having one ever
We then get another huggy moment. It's all too much and reminds me of this classic from John Paul Jones (NOT the one in Led Zeppelin) and his classic track


Then they are back home and Esme is talking about the dog and how they love him. It's a pity that Esme has discovered the helium balloons and took a mouthful of the stuff. Her story about her school day is quite cheerfull
Sarah cuts in and explains that Esme doesn't have all her lessons in one class. To be blunt we didn't and I'm older than Sarah nor did my 2 eldest.
Sarah thoughtfully pans the camera in on Issy who is pretending to be dead to avoid this shitfest.
Sarah puts the camera in her face. Isabelle looks ill and very tired.
Sarah lovingly comments about Isabelles condition. In order that we can see just how poorly she looks Sarah lovingly grabs Isabelles head and twists it to the camera.
Its another totally awful scene.

Then the camera is spun round to show Isla sat in a chair. Then we are off out and Chris and the 2 girls are out conker picking
Then its back to the housend a breathless Sarah is wittering on about a game he is getting from the garage.
Then its tea time and they are having chicken corma . Chris invites you to comment what your favourite food is.
Then its on to the latest wheeze - The NEW MERCH and its as tit as the last lot. Chris loves it all and you can order it now.
If I only had Granny Wilkes credit card details to go along with the old trouts address I would have edged their sales up.
Chris says they will have zip up hoodies backpacks etc all coming soon. It's truly marvellous. You will be able to spot the avid ifammer from a 100 yards away and avoid the deluded halfwits

Then its bed time and first up we see Chris saying the nightlies to the 2 younger girls then its into Issys bedroom and she is propped up on the bed looking completely shattered.
For the second time this week I am reminded of Charlton Heston and his iconic movie roles. this time its the ending of EL CID where they prop him up on a horse and he leads his soldiers out to fight the enemy.

We then cut to Sarah sat up in bed. I thought for one horrible moment this was going to be an other huggy huggy scene fortunately it's not. She witters on about taking her makeup off and being up early.
As per normal it ends on a Sarah cenric note.
 
yorkshirebitch said:
SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT WITH HER..

19 minutes of deluded evasive bullshit

Starts with Lady Gravytrain wittering on about amazing days she is sat on the sofa
rabbiting on about a chaotic morning Isabelle woke up with a swollen face. They have kept her off school and taken her to the doctors. Doctors reckon it's an allergy. They haver to go out and get two of the kids new trainers which is bleeping amazing when you think that each one has so many pairs already. Because these kids trainers are so special they have to go to opposite sides of the city to get them. At this point I couldnt help noticing the shadow of Sarahs makeup line. They don't like leaving Issy in the house on her own. Maybe they are tit scared she may look at the bank statements
Talking of money Granny Grimm is popping over to look after her.
Sarah wants us to comment as parents what age we felt it was safe to leave our kids on their own. It's great that you can join in. And kids can comment too
So inclusive so inspired

Sarah says she always struggles with that question basically as I said she is talking tit. Sarah says she is one of those mums that just thinks of the worse all the time. I think she meant to say does the worst.

This dullard chatter is mercilessly cut short and Captain Beanie is next in shot walking down an escalator. He looks a complete pillock.
View attachment 1007 q
Chris says she'll never accept help from anybody Err hasn't she just accepted help from Granny Grimm ?

They are strutting round Asda and its for bright pink trainers . Chris tells us he is feeling ab it better today . So much so that he and Lady Fiver share a romantic moment. As these displays of affection are so rare and require immense planning I have thoughtfully captured the moment for you
View attachment 1008 q

They are next in the Asda café and they share attender moment discussing Chris's child portion Pizza Pie - don't worry this isn't a reference to sexual deviancy.
Then its back on the shop floor and old Eric the part time store detective looks to check they are taking videos and not stock as he clocks them down the aisle
View attachment 1009 q

Chris tells us that Sarah is going cottaging with some mates. I may have misunderstood that part. Chris is very happy chattering away talking complete crap. If this is what a childs portion of Pizza Pie does for you I'm not having one ever
We then get another huggy moment. It's all too much and reminds me of this classic from John Paul Jones (NOT the one in Led Zeppelin) and his classic track


Then they are back home and Esme is talking about the dog and how they love him. It's a pity that Esme has discovered the helium balloons and took a mouthful of the stuff. Her story about her school day is quite cheerfull
Sarah cuts in and explains that Esme doesn't have all her lessons in one class. To be blunt we didn't and I'm older than Sarah nor did my 2 eldest.
Sarah thoughtfully pans the camera in on Issy who is pretending to be dead to avoid this shitfest.
Sarah puts the camera in her face. Isabelle looks ill and very tired.
Sarah lovingly comments about Isabelles condition. In order that we can see just how poorly she looks Sarah lovingly grabs Isabelles head and twists it to the camera.
Its another totally awful scene.

Then the camera is spun round to show Isla sat in a chair. Then we are off out and Chris and the 2 girls are out conker picking
Then its back to the housend a breathless Sarah is wittering on about a game he is getting from the garage.
Then its tea time and they are having chicken corma . Chris invites you to comment what your favourite food is.
Then its on to the latest wheeze - The NEW MERCH and its as tit as the last lot. Chris loves it all and you can order it now.
If I only had Granny Wilkes credit card details to go along with the old trouts address I would have edged their sales up.
Chris says they will have zip up hoodies backpacks etc all coming soon. It's truly marvellous. You will be able to spot the avid ifammer from a 100 yards away and avoid the deluded halfwits

Then its bed time and first up we see Chris saying the nightlies to the 2 younger girls then its into Issys bedroom and she is propped up on the bed looking completely shattered.
For the second time this week I am reminded of Charlton Heston and his iconic movie roles. this time its the ending of EL CID where they prop him up on a horse and he leads his soldiers out to fight the enemy.

We then cut to Sarah sat up in bed. I thought for one horrible moment this was going to be an other huggy huggy scene fortunately it's not. She witters on about taking her makeup off and being up early.
As per normal it ends on a Sarah cenric note.
Click to expand...



So they have an ill child off school, and left her home alone just to go to Asda? Was there a trainer emergency that meant they both had to go then? And went for eats to? Did they remember to feed the ill child that was sat at home?
Parenting goals right there people!!
 
instacharlie said:
So they have an ill child off school, and left her home alone just to go to Asda? Was there a trainer emergency that meant they both had to go then? And went for eats to? Did they remember to feed the ill child that was sat at home?
Parenting goals right there people!!
Click to expand...

Do you not read any of the crap I write lol
Granny Jane was roped in to keep an eye on Issy
Trainers are important and they were needed for the girls school. These are top parents and important people
 
And foreign concept in this day and age I know, but how about ordering trainers etc online?! That way you could sit on your arse even more and still quench your appetite for shopping!
 
yorkshirebitch said:
SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT WITH HER..

19 minutes of deluded evasive bullshit

Starts with Lady Gravytrain wittering on about amazing days she is sat on the sofa
rabbiting on about a chaotic morning Isabelle woke up with a swollen face. They have kept her off school and taken her to the doctors. Doctors reckon it's an allergy. They haver to go out and get two of the kids new trainers which is bleeping amazing when you think that each one has so many pairs already. Because these kids trainers are so special they have to go to opposite sides of the city to get them. At this point I couldnt help noticing the shadow of Sarahs makeup line. They don't like leaving Issy in the house on her own. Maybe they are tit scared she may look at the bank statements
Talking of money Granny Grimm is popping over to look after her.
Sarah wants us to comment as parents what age we felt it was safe to leave our kids on their own. It's great that you can join in. And kids can comment too
So inclusive so inspired

Sarah says she always struggles with that question basically as I said she is talking tit. Sarah says she is one of those mums that just thinks of the worse all the time. I think she meant to say does the worst.

This dullard chatter is mercilessly cut short and Captain Beanie is next in shot walking down an escalator. He looks a complete pillock.
View attachment 1007 q
Chris says she'll never accept help from anybody Err hasn't she just accepted help from Granny Grimm ?

They are strutting round Asda and its for bright pink trainers . Chris tells us he is feeling ab it better today . So much so that he and Lady Fiver share a romantic moment. As these displays of affection are so rare and require immense planning I have thoughtfully captured the moment for you
View attachment 1008 q

They are next in the Asda café and they share attender moment discussing Chris's child portion Pizza Pie - don't worry this isn't a reference to sexual deviancy.
Then its back on the shop floor and old Eric the part time store detective looks to check they are taking videos and not stock as he clocks them down the aisle
View attachment 1009 q

Chris tells us that Sarah is going cottaging with some mates. I may have misunderstood that part. Chris is very happy chattering away talking complete crap. If this is what a childs portion of Pizza Pie does for you I'm not having one ever
We then get another huggy moment. It's all too much and reminds me of this classic from John Paul Jones (NOT the one in Led Zeppelin) and his classic track


Then they are back home and Esme is talking about the dog and how they love him. It's a pity that Esme has discovered the helium balloons and took a mouthful of the stuff. Her story about her school day is quite cheerfull
Sarah cuts in and explains that Esme doesn't have all her lessons in one class. To be blunt we didn't and I'm older than Sarah nor did my 2 eldest.
Sarah thoughtfully pans the camera in on Issy who is pretending to be dead to avoid this shitfest.
Sarah puts the camera in her face. Isabelle looks ill and very tired.
Sarah lovingly comments about Isabelles condition. In order that we can see just how poorly she looks Sarah lovingly grabs Isabelles head and twists it to the camera.
Its another totally awful scene.

Then the camera is spun round to show Isla sat in a chair. Then we are off out and Chris and the 2 girls are out conker picking
Then its back to the housend a breathless Sarah is wittering on about a game he is getting from the garage.
Then its tea time and they are having chicken corma . Chris invites you to comment what your favourite food is.
Then its on to the latest wheeze - The NEW MERCH and its as tit as the last lot. Chris loves it all and you can order it now.
If I only had Granny Wilkes credit card details to go along with the old trouts address I would have edged their sales up.
Chris says they will have zip up hoodies backpacks etc all coming soon. It's truly marvellous. You will be able to spot the avid ifammer from a 100 yards away and avoid the deluded halfwits

Then its bed time and first up we see Chris saying the nightlies to the 2 younger girls then its into Issys bedroom and she is propped up on the bed looking completely shattered.
For the second time this week I am reminded of Charlton Heston and his iconic movie roles. this time its the ending of EL CID where they prop him up on a horse and he leads his soldiers out to fight the enemy.

We then cut to Sarah sat up in bed. I thought for one horrible moment this was going to be an other huggy huggy scene fortunately it's not. She witters on about taking her makeup off and being up early.
As per normal it ends on a Sarah cenric note.
Click to expand...


Those stills of creepy make me shudder ?
I would say that they’re reluctant to leave Isabelle on her own due to the threats that were apparently made to burn down their house, blah, blah BUT then I remembered she couldn’t care less about her kids, so yeah it’s probably because she doesn’t want her rummaging through things and finding yet more evidence that creepy is a massive twit.
 
yorkshirebitch said:
Do you not read any of the crap I write lol
Granny Jane was roped in to keep an eye on Issy
Trainers are important and they were needed for the girls school. These are top parents and important people
Click to expand...

Pmsl, to be fair I scrolled quickly as their massive screenshot heads popped up and I was a little sick in my mouth:sick:
 
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