Food and Drink #53

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Witchfinder Sargeant said:
I can trust my brother with it and probably my parents, especially if I go in with an attitude of "don't feel guilty or like you failed as parents, it was the 1980s/1990s, I'm not looking to assign blame for the past, but treatment for the future." (girl,

Thanks, ninnies, I'll call my medical insurers later and see what they say - it may be that they boot me back to the GP in which case I'll call them.
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QMLAN, but that unfinished sentence is (girl, fairly sure I'm inattentive ADHD, my school reports are full of "daydreaming," "doesn't live up to her potential," "doesn't plan, ignores deadlines," etc. nobody thought at the time that it was indicative of problems, the focus was on disruptive boys, rather than "quiet, not disruptive but not living up to her potential" girls).
 
So pissed off today.

I've been busting a gut (actually literally) to help someone at her house every single day, sometimes 2 or 3 times, for the last month, as well as on the phone coordinating care with nhs and soc serv etc when I don't even really have the time/energy to do what I need at home myself - because she is very physically unwell atm and has no family nearby.

But her ATTITUDE yesterday and again today when she's phoned up about something where I have apparently failed - no consideration for how much I've put myself out eg yesterday i went there at 8am because electrician was coming, and cleaned/tidied while I was there; then went and did her food shop and ordered a thing she wanted from Argos; then did my own life with the lad for a bit ...
she called at 7:30pm "where are you with my thing" when I'd already told her I don't get home till 8pm and then having to make a second stop off at Argos to collect the thing and then take it to her before getting home in time for bed.
Then today she was almost ranting at me about no clean nightclothes
etc when she doesn't have a washing machine and knows I don't either- I pointed out that she had 2 clean sets yesterday, and I had already planned to grab a couple out of basket with tomorrow and take them home to handwash and dry overnight for Saturday = best I could do. She still had the huff big time like it was all my fault.

I don't expect praise or reward for helping people that need help, but I don't expect to be spoken to like tit either.
I think I'm done.
 
ForgettyBetty said:
So pissed off today.

I've been busting a gut (actually literally) to help someone at her house every single day, sometimes 2 or 3 times, for the last month, as well as on the phone coordinating care with nhs and soc serv etc when I don't even really have the time/energy to do what I need at home myself - because she is very physically unwell atm and has no family nearby.

But her ATTITUDE yesterday and again today when she's phoned up about something where I have apparently failed - no consideration for how much I've put myself out eg yesterday i went there at 8am because electrician was coming, and cleaned/tidied while I was there; then went and did her food shop and ordered a thing she wanted from Argos; then did my own life with the lad for a bit ...
she called at 7:30pm "where are you with my thing" when I'd already told her I don't get home till 8pm and then having to make a second stop off at Argos to collect the thing and then take it to her before getting home in time for bed.
Then today she was almost ranting at me about no clean nightclothes
etc when she doesn't have a washing machine and knows I don't either- I pointed out that she had 2 clean sets yesterday, and I had already planned to grab a couple out of basket with tomorrow and take them home to handwash and dry overnight for Saturday = best I could do. She still had the huff big time like it was all my fault.

I don't expect praise or reward for helping people that need help, but I don't expect to be spoken to like tit either.
I think I'm done.
Click to expand...
You are amazing! It seems you are juggling so many things. It’s sounds like you have every right to be angry.

On a serious note, you seem to have on taken the official role of carer. Is there anyone you can inform regarding this so you can seek support (not necessarily financial, more social?).

Please rant as often as you feel you need to ❤‍🩹
 
ForgettyBetty said:
So pissed off today.

I've been busting a gut (actually literally) to help someone at her house every single day, sometimes 2 or 3 times, for the last month, as well as on the phone coordinating care with nhs and soc serv etc when I don't even really have the time/energy to do what I need at home myself - because she is very physically unwell atm and has no family nearby.

But her ATTITUDE yesterday and again today when she's phoned up about something where I have apparently failed - no consideration for how much I've put myself out eg yesterday i went there at 8am because electrician was coming, and cleaned/tidied while I was there; then went and did her food shop and ordered a thing she wanted from Argos; then did my own life with the lad for a bit ...
she called at 7:30pm "where are you with my thing" when I'd already told her I don't get home till 8pm and then having to make a second stop off at Argos to collect the thing and then take it to her before getting home in time for bed.
Then today she was almost ranting at me about no clean nightclothes
etc when she doesn't have a washing machine and knows I don't either- I pointed out that she had 2 clean sets yesterday, and I had already planned to grab a couple out of basket with tomorrow and take them home to handwash and dry overnight for Saturday = best I could do. She still had the huff big time like it was all my fault.

I don't expect praise or reward for helping people that need help, but I don't expect to be spoken to like tit either.
I think I'm done.
Click to expand...

Seriously? You really need to remind her that you are not her career but you are her friend and that is why you are there trying to help. I can't believe neither of you have a washing machine yet she is giving out to you about not having clean clothes and you are willing to hand wash her dirty clothes for her. That is shocking. I know you are just wanting to help and that is so lovely, but for real you need to take a massive step back & focus on you first and center.
 
zetta buttons said:
You are amazing! It seems you are juggling so many things. It’s sounds like you have every right to be angry.

On a serious note, you seem to have on taken the official role of carer. Is there anyone you can inform regarding this so you can seek support (not necessarily financial, more social?).

Please rant as often as you feel you need to ❤‍🩹
Click to expand...

Yes, various individuals' expectations are currently "out there" - I think it's because a lot of people assume it's not really putting you out as they wouldn't do that themselves if you see what I mean?

Going to refer it back to Adult Social Care, they've happily dumped it all on
me so far, but I never intended it to be more than a once-a-week help with housework sort of deal while she's off her feet.

(She has carers/nurses 4 x a day for personal & medical care)
 
ForgettyBetty said:
So pissed off today.

I've been busting a gut (actually literally) to help someone at her house every single day, sometimes 2 or 3 times, for the last month, as well as on the phone coordinating care with nhs and soc serv etc when I don't even really have the time/energy to do what I need at home myself - because she is very physically unwell atm and has no family nearby.

But her ATTITUDE yesterday and again today when she's phoned up about something where I have apparently failed - no consideration for how much I've put myself out eg yesterday i went there at 8am because electrician was coming, and cleaned/tidied while I was there; then went and did her food shop and ordered a thing she wanted from Argos; then did my own life with the lad for a bit ...
she called at 7:30pm "where are you with my thing" when I'd already told her I don't get home till 8pm and then having to make a second stop off at Argos to collect the thing and then take it to her before getting home in time for bed.
Then today she was almost ranting at me about no clean nightclothes
etc when she doesn't have a washing machine and knows I don't either- I pointed out that she had 2 clean sets yesterday, and I had already planned to grab a couple out of basket with tomorrow and take them home to handwash and dry overnight for Saturday = best I could do. She still had the huff big time like it was all my fault.

I don't expect praise or reward for helping people that need help, but I don't expect to be spoken to like tit either.
I think I'm done.
Click to expand...
@ForgettyBetty, I'm really sorry that your neighbour hasn't thanked you, but I feel really moved by what you've been doing. I don't know how helpful this information might be for you and your neighbour, and I know that there aren't enough resources available and that sometimes accessing them takes more energy, but in case it's helpful
https://carers.org/money-and-benefits/introTake care,
 
ForgettyBetty said:
So pissed off today.

I've been busting a gut (actually literally) to help someone at her house every single day, sometimes 2 or 3 times, for the last month, as well as on the phone coordinating care with nhs and soc serv etc when I don't even really have the time/energy to do what I need at home myself - because she is very physically unwell atm and has no family nearby.

But her ATTITUDE yesterday and again today when she's phoned up about something where I have apparently failed - no consideration for how much I've put myself out eg yesterday i went there at 8am because electrician was coming, and cleaned/tidied while I was there; then went and did her food shop and ordered a thing she wanted from Argos; then did my own life with the lad for a bit ...
she called at 7:30pm "where are you with my thing" when I'd already told her I don't get home till 8pm and then having to make a second stop off at Argos to collect the thing and then take it to her before getting home in time for bed.
Then today she was almost ranting at me about no clean nightclothes
etc when she doesn't have a washing machine and knows I don't either- I pointed out that she had 2 clean sets yesterday, and I had already planned to grab a couple out of basket with tomorrow and take them home to handwash and dry overnight for Saturday = best I could do. She still had the huff big time like it was all my fault.

I don't expect praise or reward for helping people that need help, but I don't expect to be spoken to like tit either.
I think I'm done.
Click to expand...
That’s a lot to do for someone being an ungrateful knob about it. I’m sorry.

No fancy dinner tonight. Dr Oetker (not dr outlet - which made me laugh - like it’s the off brand version pizza) and skinny air fryer chips.
Redid my wardrobe today to reflect the crappy weather. I try and keep to project 333 and it really helps me think less about what I’m gonna wear each day and get rid of things I don’t wear in that month. I’m never wearing that floral skirt was the realisation I had today.
Chicken tagine tomorrow, I ordered the jar of paste for speed but it somehow didn’t make it, so I’ll be looking up what to put in.
 
Hi Fraus, I’m in a very fortunate position to be looking at holidays overseas.
we’ve been looking on Skyscanner for flights; does anyone have experience of using it? I mean actually booking through it rather than look at the front page?
We’re looking at flights to somewhere on 🌍 -one way it shows as £583 per person, but when we go onto the airline’s website for that exact flight it’s £1,283 each. The £583 price diverts to an unknown site.
Is it all just a big take on?
 
@ForgettyBetty I don't have anything more to add than what has already been said but did want to emphasise - bleeping hell, you are doing so much!! It doesn't seem like this person has capacity for gratitude but you are very deserving of it, and social services absolutely need to be taking over the reins. Some really helpful advice ninnies gave me when I was having similar problems recently is speak to your GP about any adverse affects all this added stress is having on you, so that they can intervene on your behalf. Okay maybe I did have more to add but seriously you are so great and deserve the same level of care you are giving this person so please seek it where you can! 🧡 x
 
No advice on flights. I thought skyscanner was the app where you can track TayTay in her Lear jet what flights are where?

Just watched that documentary about the man wrongly imprisoned for 17 years. Horrific. Lots of shots of the local nick though. Being in there for 17 years, guilty or innocent would wreck anyone.
 
Lazarus said:
Hi Fraus, I’m in a very fortunate position to be looking at holidays overseas.
we’ve been looking on Skyscanner for flights; does anyone have experience of using it? I mean actually booking through it rather than look at the front page?
We’re looking at flights to somewhere on 🌍 -one way it shows as £583 per person, but when we go onto the airline’s website for that exact flight it’s £1,283 each. The £583 price diverts to an unknown site.
Is it all just a big take on?
Click to expand...
Think it’s just a comparison site Laz. Once you’ve identified the flight operator/ carrier, code, destination codes plug the details into some other sites just to see?
If it’s a charter flight they can be operated by x on behalf of y on behalf of z, can be a bit of a rabbit hole but you can work out who is behind it all, who sells tickets for them and how much everyone else charges.
 
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