Estee Lalonde #9 Hen Solo - May the Farce by With You - if it's still on...

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queenamber said:
I don’t envy her at all right now. Breakups like that are brutal and I wouldn’t wish the pain on my worst enemy!
What’s her living situation now? Back when I was following her regularly she was living in that central apartment with the huge windows but I think it went up for sale. Did it sell? Were they living together?
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They were living together, but in a different, smaller flat. She still owns the flat with the huge windows but rents it out. She couldn't sell it due to issues with the cladding iirc.
 
I just don't understand how you go from the level of engaged to broken up. There are middle steps in between. Why not just postpone the wedding? Or call off the engagement? Slow down and take some time to make your relationship stronger? How do you go from "I want to spend my life with you" to "we are over" in an instant?
 
Moonlights said:
I just don't understand how you go from the level of engaged to broken up. There are middle steps in between. Why not just postpone the wedding? Or call off the engagement? Slow down and take some time to make your relationship stronger? How do you go from "I want to spend my life with you" to "we are over" in an instant?
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Yeah, this is the most interesting bit to me. AFAIK she didn't discuss why there was simply no postponement. It just seems like they weren't meant to be dating, let alone married.
 
Moonlights said:
I just don't understand how you go from the level of engaged to broken up. There are middle steps in between. Why not just postpone the wedding? Or call off the engagement? Slow down and take some time to make your relationship stronger? How do you go from "I want to spend my life with you" to "we are over" in an instant?
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I'm sure there's more to it. He only proposed because she gave him an ultimatum. Maybe things were rocky before that, or took a nosedive straight after they got engaged.
 
Callan said:
It feels like the relationship was mostly fine until she decided that it's time to propose to her, she was very stern on that Beverly interview video about what she'd do if it didn't go her way and now I wonder if she regrets that.
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That's why I still don't feel THAT sorry for her. She was so smug in that interview and it's laughable she advised all women to do this because it works. Egg....meet face.

If she hadn't been so sure of herself about something that rarely works I'd be more sympathetic. It's sad to see her cry but she'll get over it--abd move onto the next love of her life.
 
Moonlights said:
I just don't understand how you go from the level of engaged to broken up. There are middle steps in between. Why not just postpone the wedding? Or call off the engagement? Slow down and take some time to make your relationship stronger? How do you go from "I want to spend my life with you" to "we are over" in an instant?
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Maybe the guy tried, he wanted to want it, and then each day after the proposal as it got closer to the D day he was more freaked out about not being into it more... I feel like her Q&A just gave us more questions than answers!
 
Cancelling a wedding is honestly one of the most awful things and it’s really hard to go back from that after you’ve told everyone you’re no longer getting married, it’s not as easy as just postponing - i actually did postpone before finally cancelling and I wish I hadn’t, knowing that everyone close to you knows your relationship is hitting the fan puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on you. If either one of them didn’t want to get married after getting engaged and booking a wedding then breaking up is almost certainly the right thing to do
 
This comment is so spot on, makes you think about the foundation of this relationship and how strong is it to withstand life stuff together.


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Shutterbug99 said:
They were living together, but in a different, smaller flat. She still owns the flat with the huge windows but rents it out. She couldn't sell it due to issues with the cladding iirc.
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The location of the smaller flat always puzzled me, it was up in Tottenham right? Not exactly an Estee location (as lovely as much of North London is!). Some here thought maybe it was a brand partnership because it was part of a new development iirc.
 
mindlessness said:
The location of the smaller flat always puzzled me, it was up in Tottenham right? Not exactly an Estee location (as lovely as much of North London is!). Some here thought maybe it was a brand partnership because it was part of a new development iirc.
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Think she said they were one of the first tenants in it really seems like some gifted or discounted place to stay, and they were selling their furniture to be able to fit there, crazy.
 
My take on why they are done and not merely calling off the engagement, is that they went from a relationship that was so-so i.e. not real deep love, but was fine, to suddenly engaged (because she pressured him to), to suddenly getting married (and not taking a breather for a long engagement). He probably wasn’t expecting things to go a million miles an hour and maybe freaked out and realised the whole thing was a mistake.

In her engagement video she mentioned in the early days they were on and off and would drop each other when someone more interesting came along (paraphrasing). Then when she finally decided to speak a bit about him, she said was “really nice” and “was good with her dog”. It was at that moment I knew this was a sham. Let’s not forget the mum’s gobsmacked reaction and Estee’s sterile “It’s done, thank God”. I agree with whoever said they shouldn’t even have been dating, let alone making a lifetime commitment to each other.

The comment about control was very telling. At least there is some self awareness there. I imagine she could’ve been difficult to be in a relationship with and she realises this.
 
Callan said:
On the right side I see that Amelia also had a Lifeupdate Q&A, what the heck, on the same day as Estee... is she hoping ppl from Estee's video will jump to hers? Cause I don't follow that hot mess.

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Amelia’s was uploaded a few hours before Estee’s. At this stage, they should just marry each other 😂
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londongirl2001 said:
Haven’t watched the video yet, but I want to know what she’s done with her wedding dresses
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I would have loved to see it …..and Amelia’s !
 
From that crying alone, Estee has a LOT of emotional issues she needs to deal with

Hot baths will not help you estee

Its time to be brutally honest with yourself and who you have become

Unmet needs and trauma from childhood is what you need to heal from. There is so much more to this than an engagement being called off

Go get a therapist, get offline and help yourself
 
What even are these ultra mean comments she references at the end of the video? "How could you post such horrible things to me when I'm suffering?" (paraphrasing). Like what, people commented that this was the natural conclusion to an ultimatum and then being high off your own farts about it across the internet afterward? Because it is?

If she really finds those comments so mean then she's really never going to get a grip on her mental bullshit.
 
mindlessness said:
The location of the smaller flat always puzzled me, it was up in Tottenham right? Not exactly an Estee location (as lovely as much of North London is!). Some here thought maybe it was a brand partnership because it was part of a new development iirc.
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Yeah, it's in Tottenham, I think. I thought it was really strange she moved from the house with the garden for Effie to that small flat. I do think she got some sort of discount on the place for doing an (undisclosed) ad for them.
 
getawaywithit said:
I don’t think her being upset and saying he’s wonderful means she was dumped.

In fact, it’s when one does the dumping— and feels bad about it— that they feel more willing to give compliments and pronouncements of love.
And even people who end things still cry and feel heartbroken. Her claiming her own faults is also a way of trying to make it seem like she is owning up to something. Also saying he’s wonderful and she loves him— she never said anything near to that before now.

However, anyone who has watched her for a while knows that Estee can also cry really easily. I’m not saying this to sound harsh at all, but remember she also sobbed talking about getting engaged— and not like fun happy tears. I think she is crying and super emotional because it’s like all the heavy emotions and stress and trauma she has around marriage and partnership and herself for some reason come out with this. She never did the official breakup video with Aslan and I’m kind of getting the feeling this is like catharsis from never really dealing with the end of that relationship, which was indeed more like a life partnership and engagement ending.
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I respectfully disagree. I feel like complimenting and expressing love is usually a result of someone getting dumped after bleeping up and still hoping for redemption. Like for example she cheated (I don't think she did) and now she's regretting it because it ruined everything. I could imagine a scenario where there was a tension with his family and friends, them not accepting her and Estee giving Ben an ultimatum like either its her or them. Or something like that, like a big red flag that she hopes she can still undo.
 
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