Emma Drew #21 Greed, gluttony and a house full of tat, one year post WLS and still fat.

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Pity party for Emma. Devastated but making jokes about it. Has only mentioned things now it’s been mentioned on tattle that he’s in all honestly been neglected. No one has told her to go and do his personal care, that’s been given anecdotally as example of what genuine carers do daily without making a fuss.

Alzheimer’s is awful for all involved, I know, I’ve worked in EMI homes and watched my Grandad go through it. At no point did I make fun of him on social media. He couldn’t remember our names either.

We mentioned concerns for welfare and all of a sudden she’s on the phone to adult social care and acting the dutiful daughter.

I don’t doubt she loves him but her self-confessed denial about it has possibly progressed his Alzheimer’s quicker than if she’d have acted at the start of
Lockdown.
 
Choo choo.

So watching him decline has turned into how bad it is for her. There are plenty of people who live with their parent and watch them decline. My husband often gets upset watching how MIL forgets things. Yes it is heartbreaking but don't turn it into why it's sad for you.

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But on a serious note for Emma's dads sake and we know you read here. Emma have you tried music that your dad used to listen to? When MIL is agitated we put on music she enjoyed when she was younger. I have also recently discovered travel vlogs of where she was brought up helps.
 
SunshineSally said:
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Probably 😂

Also, I do feel bad for her because it must be horrible seeing a parent decline in front of you but she hasn’t cared for him properly. There were weeks where she never mentioned him. You don’t have to say you’ve got care etc but you haven’t even been to see him. You tell insta everything.

I accept it’s devastating, but he’s your dad Imma and if anything happened to him and tony was the last person you sent round, you’d never forgive yourself. Put your emotions aside and be there for your dad, no matter how hard it is. One day he won’t be here and it’ll be too late.
 
I actually really do feel for her I really do. Seeing relatives decline is indeed heartbreaking and I do understand the feeling about finding it hard to see them like that. One thing I would never do though is post everything on social media. She is a massive oversharer and posts some right crap and proper weird stuff that just does not need to be shared.

Today though I have to say is the most genuinely and open I have seen her.

Bubblesandflowers said:
Choo choo.

So watching him decline has turned into how bad it is for her. There are plenty of people who live with their parent and watch them decline. My husband often gets upset watching how MIL forgets things. Yes it is heartbreaking but don't turn it into why it's sad for you.

View attachment 418939 q

But on a serious note for Emma's dads sake and we know you read here. Emma have you tried music that your dad used to listen to? When MIL is agitated we put on music she enjoyed when she was younger. I have also recently discovered travel vlogs of where she was brought up helps.
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I do get the finding it hard to see them decline though. You've got to think of them first and put them first but I guess in a way it's a kind of self preservation.
 
Theyallneedarealitycheck said:
💯 I’m on Sertraline 100mg if I miss one day it’s not the end of the world, 2 days and it’s close!! I was also advised to take it in the morning as I have sleep issues and the first two days I didn’t sleep at all. I don’t make a huge song and dance about being on it, those who need to know know but Facebook acquaintances don’t!
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I've just started sertraline 6 days ago, last night was the first night of proper sleep!! She needs to get over it, I've not moaned about it on insta
 
DJ* said:
I actually really do feel for her I really do. Seeing relatives decline is indeed heartbreaking and I do understand the feeling about finding it hard to see them like that. One thing I would never do though is post everything on social media. She is a massive oversharer and posts some right crap and proper weird stuff that just does not need to be shared.

Today though I have to say is the most genuinely and open I have seen her.


I do get the finding it hard to see them decline though. You've got to think of them first and put them first but I guess in a way it's a kind of self preservation.
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I totally agree but she’s not endearing herself is she by treating his home like a bring and buy sale! Poor man. If he’s as confused as she makes out he is it must be so hard on him finding items missing from his home.
 
DJ* said:
I actually really do feel for her I really do. Seeing relatives decline is indeed heartbreaking and I do understand the feeling about finding it hard to see them like that. One thing I would never do though is post everything on social media. She is a massive oversharer and posts some right crap and proper weird stuff that just does not need to be shared.

Today though I have to say is the most genuinely and open I have seen her.


I do get the finding it hard to see them decline though. You've got to think of them first and put them first but I guess in a way it's a kind of self preservation.
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Yes absolutely it is torture to see the person you'd had all your life slowly fade away. It is horrible and I don't wish it on anyone. Her dad does seem genuinely lovely and it isn't his fault.
I agree about openness - this is the most open we've probably ever seen her. But just when she starts to show she is a good person, she does something ridiculous that proves the opposite.

Oh so Emma does have self awareness. Good for her.
 

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Dementia is absolutely horrendous and it's heartbreaking to see people you love decline like that. However, she said something the other day about the birthday presents she buying for herself from her dad. I don't know why she still thought this was a priority or a necessity right now if the poor man doesn't even recognise her. This isn't about being a little girl anymore. She shouldn't be selling his things and using the cash as her birthday present. She needs to be very careful how she comes across with using his money.
 
Delia Smith said:
Dementia is absolutely horrendous and it's heartbreaking to see people you love decline like that. However, she said something the other day about the birthday presents she buying for herself from her dad. I don't know why she still thought this was a priority or a necessity right now if the poor man doesn't even recognise her. This isn't about being a little girl anymore. She shouldn't be selling his things and using the cash as her birthday present. She needs to be very careful how she comes across with using his money.
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Totally agree with you about this. Buying herself presents should be as far from her mind as possible right now. She’s clearly not focussed on her dad and his welfare if she’s got hours to spend on ooooo.

The fact she also has to get in that he’s had a private care package and it’s been a burden they’ve had to budget for.... if it’s means tested it would be based on his income not yours!
 
She might as well titled that rant "Dear Tattle"... Can she make it anymore obvious she reads here?

I'm sorry, I dont have a lot of sympathy for her after those posts. All she's done is make it about HER. Alzheimers is incredibly sad and I'm going through it for the second time right now with my grandma (my grandparents were my legal guardians so basically my parents). It is heartbreaking to watch and it is draining, but I have to keep going despite my myriad of anxiety, depression, autism and ADHD.

I would have more sympathy if she arranged counselling for herself rather than moping at home spending money and sending Tony round to care for him instead. She isn't helping herself or helping her dad if she's on not in a fit state mentally to be there for him when he needs her. It really is that old adage of you can't pour from an empty cup.

Very emotive topic, but needs to be spoken about with a therapist. Therapy will help imma.

Also, I find it works well to go along with what they're saying. When my grandma is saying 'my dad will be downstairs to give me breakfast soon' I just agree with her and say they'll be there shortly and to divert her to another activity.
 
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