Do I want it? No. Do I need it? No. Save it! #3

[rainbowlemon]

[/QUOTE]

Omg my love what a cheeky cow, next time she pipes up ask her if she’s gonna keep coming out with no money! Apple Pay always bleeping works, it even works underground, no excuses

It was a younger relative I was taking to a community self defence class. So it came with all the entitlement being #family can bring out. The station was crowded and very busy. I asked for the money when we got home and she transferred the amount.

It was only £12, but it's not only just £12. Lately I have been taking a tough love approach with her which has been causing friction.

I didn't realize how much I was actually spending on family and I've been trying to cut back on that too. I always believed the more you gave the more you would get back so was always very open with spending on them.
---
I also have a monzo account. I liked the pots.

 

[neverbeeninfluenced]

I use Monzo for my discretionary spending money, and sinking funds, and roundups! I really like it, but will flag that I use Monzo purely as I was part of that first wave of signups eons ago so they may not necessarily have the best functionality/rates/app anymore.

However I googled to see which bank has the best IFTTT (if this, then that) functionality and found this landing page for Monzo - so sounds as if you could set up some weekly rules around spending quite easily:

IFTTT

Automate your financial life with Monzo and IFTTT.

monzo.com

Amazing, thanks

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

It was a younger relative I was taking to a community self defence class. So it came with all the entitlement being #family can bring out. The station was crowded and very busy. I asked for the money when we got home and she transferred the amount.

It was only £12, but it's not only just £12. Lately I have been taking a tough love approach with her which has been causing friction.

I didn't realize how much I was actually spending on family and I've been trying to cut back on that too. I always believed the more you gave the more you would get back so was always very open with spending on them.
---
I also have a monzo account. I liked the pots.
[/QUOTE]
Some people can be strange where money is concerned. I'm generous with paying for things too but I stop when people become to expect it. Some of the inlaws have started acting like we "owe" them. Like our money is theirs to spend.
But even Mr Lolz, who is a soft touch, has now started to take a bit more of a stronger line with them

 

[rainbowlemon]

There's a large age gap between us. Our relationship dynamic has changed. When she was little I would obviously be paying for everything if we went out. Now that she's over 18 and officially an adult I expect her to be more responsible for herself.

I looked out a lot for her because I knew her parents wouldn't. One of my sister's studied physics at UCL. It wasn't beneath her to also work at Macdonald's whist she studied . My intention by always asking for money back has been to teach her financial discipline without enabling dependency.
All I'm getting back is how I've changed and I'm no longer the same.

Today I asked her to get up and clean for 30 mins, (she had come to stay for Christmas. She had been in bed for 75% of the day on her phone). She ended up crying and her mother came over and took her side. "Why was I even asking?" The room was becoming a tip that's why! If she's staying over she should be responsible for cleaning it too. She's not my child. Not my monkey, not my circus.

I find my family so frustrating to deal with. There's a reason why I am already no contact with most others already.

 

[justsatsuma]

So my husband has it officially on video that next year is a ‘no-spend’ year for me in that I will only buy necessities. He did cut the video before I defined necessities though…

But in all seriousness he’s going to support me with this! He’s a massive money hoarder, he knows more about investing and making money than he knows about where the teabags are kept in the kitchen

We are both in very well paid jobs, but I have always been a serial spender on absolute tat. I also have debts to clear (all on very low or 0% APR deals fortunately), but I need to have a year to hammer this.

My concern is I need to find my dopamine hits somewhere, so I’m hoping getting back into the gym and restarting hiking to help this. I’m 20 months sober, and quitting a shopping habit, and I’ve had a bad year with health, but after major surgery a few months ago I have no excuses now!

I’ve quit Facebook but can’t quite bring myself to ditch or TikTok, however I know I’m a sucker for ads. But one thing at a time I guess

 

[rainbowlemon]

So my husband has it officially on video that next year is a ‘no-spend’ year for me in that I will only buy necessities. He did cut the video before I defined necessities though…

But in all seriousness he’s going to support me with this! He’s a massive money hoarder, he knows more about investing and making money than he knows about where the teabags are kept in the kitchen

We are both in very well paid jobs, but I have always been a serial spender on absolute tat. I also have debts to clear (all on very low or 0% APR deals fortunately), but I need to have a year to hammer this.

My concern is I need to find my dopamine hits somewhere, so I’m hoping getting back into the gym and restarting hiking to help this. I’m 20 months sober, and quitting a shopping habit, and I’ve had a bad year with health, but after major surgery a few months ago I have no excuses now!

I’ve quit Facebook but can’t quite bring myself to ditch or TikTok, however I know I’m a sucker for ads. But one thing at a time I guess

It’s awesome that your husband is supporting you in this! You can try reducing time spent on TikTok would help minimize exposure to those buying triggers.

Create a visual tracker for your debt payoff and savings goals. Watching that number decrease or increase might give you the same kind of satisfaction you'd get from buying a new item.

Perhaps also try to find new hobbies to occupy yourself instead of shopping.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

I've realised this year that I used to think if it was used or eaten or otherwise consumed, then it was money well spent.

But I'm catering for a few more than usual this Christmas and realised that even if everything I buy gets eaten, it doesn't necessarily mean it was a good purchase. I totted up about £70 for a cheese board (and the port and all the trimmings etc). I'm sure it would be polished off and everyone would be pleased to have it mid-afternoon, but at the same time, I don't honestly think anyone would notice it not being there with all the other food there'll be (turkey, desserts, party food, etc). And I'll certainly notice £70 more in my pocket.

I know it sounds very Grinch-y of me but I'm trying to frame my planning like that this year.

 

[AmmaH]

There's a lot of no-buy stuff on Tik Tok so just train your algorithm to look for those vids. Love the Project Pan beauty stuff and creators who tell ypu ypu don't need stuff. It helps!

 

[rainbowlemon]

I also realized that I was wrong in my approach. I changed the rules without specifically telling her beforehand. As she's staying with me right now I've just left her to clean on her own schedule, but it's been overdue for the past two days.

---

Cheap Christmas veg wars: Asda, Aldi and Lidl slash prices to 8p

The Christmas veg price wars are in full swing, in a day of fierce undercutting

www.thegrocer.co.uk

 

[Tired of this crap]

I’ve fucked this month up. Needing to dip into savings because I don’t get paid until after Christmas. The food shops are killing me, even aldi stuff doesn’t seem to be that cheap anymore it’s not terrible, we can manage but I’m just annoyed at having to use savings I wanted to keep for something else

 

[bottlewrapper]

I've realised this year that I used to think if it was used or eaten or otherwise consumed, then it was money well spent.

But I'm catering for a few more than usual this Christmas and realised that even if everything I buy gets eaten, it doesn't necessarily mean it was a good purchase. I totted up about £70 for a cheese board (and the port and all the trimmings etc). I'm sure it would be polished off and everyone would be pleased to have it mid-afternoon, but at the same time, I don't honestly think anyone would notice it not being there with all the other food there'll be (turkey, desserts, party food, etc). And I'll certainly notice £70 more in my pocket.

I know it sounds very Grinch-y of me but I'm trying to frame my planning like that this year.

It's not Grinchy at all, it's sensible where there will be a sea of food and people will probably be too full/drunk to really appreciate it anyway.
I always buy the cheapest prepackaged cheese board I can find, transfer it to a lovely board then add two different looking individual cheeses, like an ash-covered one or a piece of brie with some sort of filling, to pep up the selection. Much cheaper than buying individual blocks, and once the wrappers are off, no one really notices they are a bit smaller than usual and not individual artisan specialty cheeses...

 

[Jellycat369]

I've been buying up stuff here and there for a couple of months, all shelf stable stuff like pickles etc, just to spread the cost. My OH goes a bit nuts at Christmas buying stuff only he'd eat and it really annoys me. To me it's such a waste of money when you're spending £15 on a bougee vegan cheese board only he can eat but then he moaned that I bought myself and our boys some veggie bites that were £3 a bag because they're a bit fancier.

Took some books in to get appraise. I have a whole bunch thar I don't want any more, all first edition, first print and special edition gift sets. I worked out the average selling value across eBay, Ziffit and Google Shopping for each book and worked out it came to around £900 if I managed to sell all 46. The shop offered me £70 for all of them. I know that they want to make a profit and have to price things accordingly but holy sh*t. One book alone is completely out of print and worth ar least £150 on its own! I've got a whole bunch of stuff to sell in the new year so I may as well do it myself.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

I also realized that I was wrong in my approach. I changed the rules without specifically telling her beforehand. As she's staying with me right now I've just left her to clean on her own schedule, but it's been overdue for the past two days.

---

Cheap Christmas veg wars: Asda, Aldi and Lidl slash prices to 8p

The Christmas veg price wars are in full swing, in a day of fierce undercutting

www.thegrocer.co.uk

I've been in Aldi and Lidl and they were cleaned out nearly, apart from the posh one who were a bit more sedate.
I picked up some for a relative. Fought my way back through all the traffic and was greeted by "I hope you haven't got any frozen stuff". I nearly performed Hari Kiri there and then.
You know when you tell someone to run down their fridge and freezer ready for the cheap veg. And as they're on their own they'll need to freeze some of what I've brought them.
Does anyone bloody listen to me???!!!
I've had 3 shocks today one bad, one partially good and one good so it would be nice if people co-operated when I'm trying to help them.

 

[really_whythough]

So my husband has it officially on video that next year is a ‘no-spend’ year for me in that I will only buy necessities. He did cut the video before I defined necessities though…

But in all seriousness he’s going to support me with this! He’s a massive money hoarder, he knows more about investing and making money than he knows about where the teabags are kept in the kitchen

We are both in very well paid jobs, but I have always been a serial spender on absolute tat. I also have debts to clear (all on very low or 0% APR deals fortunately), but I need to have a year to hammer this.

My concern is I need to find my dopamine hits somewhere, so I’m hoping getting back into the gym and restarting hiking to help this. I’m 20 months sober, and quitting a shopping habit, and I’ve had a bad year with health, but after major surgery a few months ago I have no excuses now!

I’ve quit Facebook but can’t quite bring myself to ditch or TikTok, however I know I’m a sucker for ads. But one thing at a time I guess

Congrats on all that! I’m trying to keep off instagram and I’ve decided that every time I pick up my phone and manage to resist the automatic click to it, I’m going to reward myself with moving a quid OUT of my savings into a spending account which I can buy whatever I want with. Going well 2 days in!

 

[rainbowlemon]

I've been in Aldi and Lidl and they were cleaned out nearly, apart from the posh one who were a bit more sedate.
I picked up some for a relative. Fought my way back through all the traffic and was greeted by "I hope you haven't got any frozen stuff". I nearly performed Hari Kiri there and then.
You know when you tell someone to run down their fridge and freezer ready for the cheap veg. And as they're on their own they'll need to freeze some of what I've brought them.
Does anyone bloody listen to me???!!!
I've had 3 shocks today one bad, one partially good and one good so it would be nice if people co-operated when I'm trying to help them.

It's lovely of you to help. It sounds like a lot to still process. I hope you can take some time for yourself to decompress. I do also avoid going into my local ALDI, as it's too crowded and don't want to be bumped into. It's sensory overload over the Christmas period so well one for grabbing a bargain.

Next time, before you head over give a firm heads-up: “I’m bringing a lot, so keep your freezer ready before I get there”.

Fresh potatoes can last between 1-2 months if kept in a cool place so it makes sense to stock up if you can.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

It's lovely of you to help. It sounds like a lot to still process. I hope you can take some time for yourself to decompress. I do also avoid going into my local ALDI, as it's too crowded and don't want to be bumped into. It's sensory overload over the Christmas period so well one for grabbing a bargain.

Next time, before you head over give a firm heads-up: “I’m bringing a lot, so keep your freezer ready before I get there”.

Fresh potatoes can last between 1-2 months if kept in a cool place so it makes sense to stock up if you can.

I didn't have chance to warn them, but I've been telling them for weeks. I did tell them to put the potatoes in a cool place and make a swede and carrot mash asap, as carrots go off quickly now.
I returned home to a bill for vermin and mention in the small print that I will need to remove the dead bodies every day. I feel sick at the thought

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Would anyone like to participate in a no/low spend fortnight? Not necessarily on this thread (although who doesn’t love a more active thread lol) and obvs everyone will have their own criteria for what that looks like/exceptions there aren’t any blanket rules to it. Just personally find this time of year so bleak and I’m defo guilty of getting bored and spending ages looking online & buying bits when really I’d feel better just reading or doing something IRL!

Like a daily accountability thing of yay did it or ah try again tomoz?

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Definitely. I've found myself browsing Amazon a lot and this morning bought a neck massager. It's got great reviews but will I actually use it?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Definitely. I've found myself browsing Amazon a lot and this morning bought a neck massager. It's got great reviews but will I actually use it?

In a similar boat in that there’s a piece of art (that sounds ridiculous to write out lol but it’s something handmade not anything posh) I like and I’ve found myself justifying it with well I should buy myself a treat from my bonus, but I (personally!) think that’s a dangerous mindset + where does it end and before you know it you’re disappointed in yourself? So the point of that TMI is to say I’m seeing it as a mandatory pause, if I’m still convinced in a fortnight then 100% it’s meant to be the love of my life, if not then thank god we didn’t?

right now is just chaos for the mind on every level (busy, triggering, family, cleaning up, chores, being out your own home) so a pause in buying will be a break in at least one thread of brain activity?

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Would anyone like to participate in a no/low spend fortnight? Not necessarily on this thread (although who doesn’t love a more active thread lol) and obvs everyone will have their own criteria for what that looks like/exceptions there aren’t any blanket rules to it. Just personally find this time of year so bleak and I’m defo guilty of getting bored and spending ages looking online & buying bits when really I’d feel better just reading or doing something IRL!

Like a daily accountability thing of yay did it or ah try again tomoz?

I’d be interested in the new year. Maybe from the second week of Jan?