Dealing with abortion

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pink_lemonade said:
I’m so happy for you and your family, I’m glad it’s worked out for you.

However, my 6 month old baby that is alive today needs his mum and dad, he doesn’t need a sibling in 9 months time along with a mum and dad who mentally and financially can’t look after them both.
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I felt it was personal because as you can imagine, this is an extremely personal topic.

This thread is for ‘dealing with an abortion’ not ‘thoughts on abortion if you’re having doubts’.
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I am sure there will be people who click on this thread who are unsure
 
hannah1799 said:
Hi I just wanted to add something from my personal experiences if anyone is having doubts on whether to go through termination or not. I fell unexpectedly pregnant last year whilst still breastfeeding my 18 month old and it was a huge shock. I considered termination but in the end we decided to continue with the pregnancy as I suffered horrendously from having an abortion at 17 and didn’t want to go through that again. I now have a 6 month old who I absolutely cannot imagine life without. We weren’t in a great position financially and ideally we could do with moving into a bigger house but we are making it work for us as best we can at the moment and I know it will all be ok in the end. There is no perfect time to have a baby but we manage the best we can and our children know they are so loved, are happy and thriving. I had an abortion at 17 and I believe I suffered ptsd from it. The procedure itself was fine but I did suffer afterwards even though I didn’t want the baby I thought I would be fine and so it was a huge shock when I started grieving afterwards. because of that experience I don’t think I could ever put myself through it again and even though it wasn’t the best timing having another baby I feel blessed and so lucky now that she is here and her siblings absolutely adore her. Something I was so worried about has been the best thing to happen to us. I know it is daunting but babies are blessing, planned or unplanned.
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For all I respect your opinion I find this post quite harmful. Yes, people may have doubts but ultimately whatever decision they make is the right one for them. People choose abortion for many many reasons and shouldn’t be made to feel ‘everything will be ok if you go through with the pregnancy’ because for some, it may not be. I also think it has the potential to make people feel even more guilt. No one chooses abortion lightly but even if they did that is ok. Their body, their choice. People come here to feel their choice is heard, respected and supported.
 
hannah1799 said:
I am sure there will be people who click on this thread who are unsure
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I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you mean well but your post is at best harmful and at worst cruel.

To tell any woman post abortion she should have kept her baby because it would have worked out is so ignorant. You cannot assume your decision would have the same result for any other person.

I had an abortion at 9 weeks, I agonised over it but logically it was the right thing to do. Emotionally it took me about a year to get fully back to myself. I think for me, getting past the due date was a big milestone and it really helped. Now I can look back and feel regret at being in that situation that I couldn’t continue the pregnancy but feel peace that I made the right decision.

Love to you all, I think you are all amazing
 
hannah1799 said:
Hi I just wanted to add something from my personal experiences if anyone is having doubts on whether to go through termination or not. I fell unexpectedly pregnant last year whilst still breastfeeding my 18 month old and it was a huge shock. I considered termination but in the end we decided to continue with the pregnancy as I suffered horrendously from having an abortion at 17 and didn’t want to go through that again. I now have a 6 month old who I absolutely cannot imagine life without. We weren’t in a great position financially and ideally we could do with moving into a bigger house but we are making it work for us as best we can at the moment and I know it will all be ok in the end. There is no perfect time to have a baby but we manage the best we can and our children know they are so loved, are happy and thriving. I had an abortion at 17 and I believe I suffered ptsd from it. The procedure itself was fine but I did suffer afterwards even though I didn’t want the baby I thought I would be fine and so it was a huge shock when I started grieving afterwards. because of that experience I don’t think I could ever put myself through it again and even though it wasn’t the best timing having another baby I feel blessed and so lucky now that she is here and her siblings absolutely adore her. Something I was so worried about has been the best thing to happen to us. I know it is daunting but babies are blessing, planned or unplanned.
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This is a horrendous post and shouldn’t be on this thread at all.
 
Dogwithabone said:
Thank you so so much. That is amazing advice, I shall have a look at BPAS in a moment.

Also, thank you for the well wishes and support - right back at you my love.

I know I will suffer emotionally over this too but also know keeping this baby would most definitely not be the better option for many reasons. Luckily I have a very supportive partner too. I will give you an update on how I get on.

thank you so much again for the most helpful reply. It’s also comforting knowing I am not alone in this situation. I hope everything goes as planned for you. Much love ❤
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I hope you're doing okay @Dogwithabone 💓
 
hannah1799 said:
Hi I just wanted to add something from my personal experiences if anyone is having doubts on whether to go through termination or not. I fell unexpectedly pregnant last year whilst still breastfeeding my 18 month old and it was a huge shock. I considered termination but in the end we decided to continue with the pregnancy as I suffered horrendously from having an abortion at 17 and didn’t want to go through that again. I now have a 6 month old who I absolutely cannot imagine life without. We weren’t in a great position financially and ideally we could do with moving into a bigger house but we are making it work for us as best we can at the moment and I know it will all be ok in the end. There is no perfect time to have a baby but we manage the best we can and our children know they are so loved, are happy and thriving. I had an abortion at 17 and I believe I suffered ptsd from it. The procedure itself was fine but I did suffer afterwards even though I didn’t want the baby I thought I would be fine and so it was a huge shock when I started grieving afterwards. because of that experience I don’t think I could ever put myself through it again and even though it wasn’t the best timing having another baby I feel blessed and so lucky now that she is here and her siblings absolutely adore her. Something I was so worried about has been the best thing to happen to us. I know it is daunting but babies are blessing, planned or unplanned.
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i suffered badly a few months after my abortion mentally. Do I sometimes think about the fact I could have a baby right now? Sure. But if I had that child in my current situation - living in london with absolutely no support circle, paying overinflated rent on a tiny flat, with a job that I had only jjst started and therefore only qualified for statutory maternity pay and nothing else, no savings. I could have a baby right now but I’d have absolutely no way of paying my rent - I’d have to present as homeless with a baby and likely give up my job as no childcare. An abortion was absolutely the right thing for me to do at that time as I 100% believe I’d be in a worse place mentally and not able to be the parent I want to be or provide the life I want to for mychild.
I am sorry you had a terrible experience and I am happy that you now have a wonderful family but this is an unhelpful post as becoming pregnant and/or a parent is a very complex difficult thing and not something that will just always work out.
 
hannah1799 said:
Hi I just wanted to add something from my personal experiences if anyone is having doubts on whether to go through termination or not. I fell unexpectedly pregnant last year whilst still breastfeeding my 18 month old and it was a huge shock. I considered termination but in the end we decided to continue with the pregnancy as I suffered horrendously from having an abortion at 17 and didn’t want to go through that again. I now have a 6 month old who I absolutely cannot imagine life without. We weren’t in a great position financially and ideally we could do with moving into a bigger house but we are making it work for us as best we can at the moment and I know it will all be ok in the end. There is no perfect time to have a baby but we manage the best we can and our children know they are so loved, are happy and thriving. I had an abortion at 17 and I believe I suffered ptsd from it. The procedure itself was fine but I did suffer afterwards even though I didn’t want the baby I thought I would be fine and so it was a huge shock when I started grieving afterwards. because of that experience I don’t think I could ever put myself through it again and even though it wasn’t the best timing having another baby I feel blessed and so lucky now that she is here and her siblings absolutely adore her. Something I was so worried about has been the best thing to happen to us. I know it is daunting but babies are blessing, planned or unplanned.
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I think this post is not appropriate for the thread.
 
Babies are a blessing when everything works out and is manageable. This is not the case for many people. Babies can be hard work, they can drive you to dark thoughts, they can sometimes be born with illnesses and conditions which require a lot of care and cause a significant amount of heartache, which if you already have child(ren) may take away resources from them. There are so many examples of instances where an approach to having another baby isn’t just a case of “getting on with it and everything will be just fine”. Life isn’t rainbows and sunshine, it’s unpredictable and cruel so for me, if you don’t feel like you’re up to it then don’t do it and nobody will judge you, I’ll admire you for doing what you thought was best.

*I’m not saying children who have health conditions aren’t a blessing, on reflection not sure if it comes across that way, I absolutely do not mean that, I’m just saying people always expect a healthy bouncing baby and that’s not always the case unfortunately
 
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I am sure that if you decide to continue a pregnancy you will love the baby but I know in my case that 9 months of carrying a child I wasn't in a position emotionally or financially to support could have very easily let to me doing something drastic to harm myself and the child.

Everyone's situation is different. Abortion isn't the easy option. You live with the scars but looking back I know I made the right choice.
 
It’s coming up to the due date for mine and though I do think about it almost daily and do have had my moments thinking about the what ifs, it was the best decision for myself and my existing family.

Thinking of those going through the decision right now. Whatever you do decide you have made that decision because it was right for you at that point in your life and don’t lose sight of that ❤️
 
Hi all, found out I was expecting again 2 weeks ago, I already have 2 children and cannot see myself with a third, also for my own mental health I cannot have another baby.
Had my consultation with a midwife today and the tablets are in the post for me to carry out the abortion at home once they arrive.
I know 100% this is the right choice for me, but the guilt I am already feeling about taking that first tablet which stops the pregnancy from progressing has hit hard, I know it sounds bad but I would rather it all came away on its own, but that didn’t happen.
 
Gilmoregirl18 said:
Hi all, found out I was expecting again 2 weeks ago, I already have 2 children and cannot see myself with a third, also for my own mental health I cannot have another baby.
Had my consultation with a midwife today and the tablets are in the post for me to carry out the abortion at home once they arrive.
I know 100% this is the right choice for me, but the guilt I am already feeling about taking that first tablet which stops the pregnancy from progressing has hit hard, I know it sounds bad but I would rather it all came away on its own, but that didn’t happen.
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Look after and be kind to yourself ❤️
 
I took the second pills this morning and today has been rough, not sure if I need to go to a and e? I called them and they said only if I'm soaking through 2 pads an hour, which I'm not, but when I go for a wee the blood seems to pour out 🤷‍♀️ hope its all over soon 😫
 
CelinaRoger said:
I took the second pills this morning and today has been rough, not sure if I need to go to a and e? I called them and they said only if I'm soaking through 2 pads an hour, which I'm not, but when I go for a wee the blood seems to pour out 🤷‍♀️ hope its all over soon 😫
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Hey hope your okay, I did mine 2 weeks ago and I was the same blood pouring out, it’s normal and it will slow down, mine did by the next day, rest and be kind to yourself xx
 
CelinaRoger said:
I took the second pills this morning and today has been rough, not sure if I need to go to a and e? I called them and they said only if I'm soaking through 2 pads an hour, which I'm not, but when I go for a wee the blood seems to pour out 🤷‍♀️ hope its all over soon 😫
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I wasn’t prepared for how much blood came after my FIRST pill - it started at work and I had to go home but it does tail off i promise it’s just pretty heavy for the first couple of days ❤️
Have a nice chill weekend with plenty of treats and rest 🥰
 
Hi ladies- I hope you don’t mind a technically undecided person stopping by here. I have found out I am very early pregnant. I am on hormonal contraception but do tests as part of my monthly routine after my friend had a horrendous experience of discovering an unwanted pregnancy right on the abortion limit.

I’m absolutely gutted. Never thought I’d be in this boat as had few miscarriages to conceive my daughter.

We could definitely have another baby. No financial worries or anything like that- but I just don’t want to parent more than one child :( I was one and done, my husband a bit more open and waiting a few months before he booked in the snip.

I haven’t told him yet. I have the number for the booking line in my area and I’m just planning on keeping it quiet for a couple of weeks. I think I need to know if it’s a viable pregnancy before I make the decision. With my history I could just start bleeding tomorrow, or see an empty sac. Just feel like I need all the information so I can never ‘what if…’
 
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