Childfree By Choice #14 Putting the free in childfree

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pinkmug said:
This is not a dig at anyone who wanted to become a parent later in life, doesn't mean they will be bad parents at all but jfc you need nerves of steel to step on that path, don't you? Good luck to them 😶 I can't fathom that stress in my 30s now, imagine being 60+ and having a tween at home slamming doors or filming themselves twerk or whatever the kids will be doing at that age in the future. I'd simply lay down and quietly perish.
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I’ve got some relatives who are due a baby. She is early 40s and he’s early 50s. Cant imagine anything worse.
 
I was diagnosed with MS a few years ago and it absolutely cemented my decision not to have kids. I know some people do manage OK, but I had to look after my parents' young dog for a fortnight, which kept barking in the night and getting me up at 5am. I was destroyed by the end of it and suffering from symptoms flaring up. There's no way in hell I'd be able to cope with a baby. It's making me think twice about getting a puppy, even though that stage shouldn't last too long.
 
MavisBeacon said:
I was diagnosed with MS a few years ago and it absolutely cemented my decision not to have kids. I know some people do manage OK, but I had to look after my parents' young dog for a fortnight, which kept barking in the night and getting me up at 5am. I was destroyed by the end of it and suffering from symptoms flaring up. There's no way in hell I'd be able to cope with a baby. It's making me think twice about getting a puppy, even though that stage shouldn't last too long.
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I have an acquaintance (friend of a friend, who has been telling me all this lol) who was diagnosed with MS and then changed her mind and decided to have kids as soon as possible. I found it so interesting, to me this is the kind of life alteration that would make it harder to think about raising children but I guess it has the opposite effect on some.
 
pinkmug said:
I have an acquaintance (friend of a friend, who has been telling me all this lol) who was diagnosed with MS and then changed her mind and decided to have kids as soon as possible. I found it so interesting, to me this is the kind of life alteration that would make it harder to think about raising children but I guess it has the opposite effect on some.
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It's such a variable disease, and it affects each person differently with an unpredictable timeline. If they're well now they may want to make the most of it in those early years of their child's life, in case things get worse later. Also some of the meds are incompatible with pregnancy.
Being cynical, I can also see that you might want to have kids so you've got someone to look after you as you get progressively more disabled... Personally, I'd rather pay for professional care than take a gamble on the fruit of my loins
 
Vroomvroom said:
Had a lush start to my childfree Christmas. Popped to my mother in laws for lunch and go meet her new rescue doggie (cute!), then been for a massage and facial. Now home for an evening of Christmas movies and baileys. Then tomorrow off to London for festive drinks and to see the lights.
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don’t forget to include the peace and quiet, and a holiday season controlled by you 🥰 I expect you’ll be able to have a lie in on Christmas Day lol - I can’t wait! I may even go for a run on Christmas morning once the kitten has opened presents.
 
Surely if you have a health condition that means you deteriorated you wouldn't have kids if you didn't already have them? Why would you want to put yours kids in that situation? And pass some health condition on? Is it just someone to wipe your arse when your ill they are wanting? I'm looking forward to not having anyone I know look after me would be so embarrassing.
 
So I’m in and out of the mumsnet thread, and I was reading about a woman who had asked a question on mumsnet, was she being unreasonable for being upset because her husband didn’t send her a Christmas card….from the newborn baby.
I‘m so glad MrBabes and I have decided not to have kids if you’re having to do bullshit like that. Maybe I should throw a fit because he hasn’t sent me a Christmas card from the cat 🙄
 
Popcornshovel said:
Why do parents go Christmas food shopping with the whole family? Does it need all 3 kids in tow?
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It is SO bleeping annoying!!!! In M&S this morning, 2 parents and 5 young children. Oldest was about 8! The youngest was screaming the place down. 🥴🥴 WHY would you do that to them if you had any other options?! I feel bad for the kids. Supermarkets are not fun.
 
Me from tomorrow 🤣

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This reminded me of Emily Blunt's interview about the nurse at the birth of her daughter her refusing to compliment ugly babies. It's hilarious, recommend watching it 😂
 
Just read an article about the age old issue of parents asserting their specialness to take leave over the big "family" holidays. I didn't appreciate a reference to "non-mothers", even though there was some context. I've copied the paragraph here:

Melissa Wheeler is a senior lecturer in business administration at RMIT University with an interest in workplace flexibility, and gender roles in work and care.

She says there is anecdotal evidence that "non-parents feel pressure to pick up the slack" when those with caring responsibilities are unavailable.

"When I run or speak at career events for women's advancement, many non-mothers share their frustration with being asked to do more because they are presumed to have fewer responsibilities or commitments."

Dr Wheeler says employees may find it difficult to push back on those expectations and experience feelings of resentment, and burnout, as a result.

...
Dr Wheeler says a report by PwC and Business in the Community showed that two-thirds of women without kids felt that they were expected by employers to work extra hours, compared to women with children.
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This is the whole article, hopefully you can read this Australian website:

www.abc.net.au

The pressure to work holiday periods when you don't have kids

There is anecdotal evidence that "non-parents feel pressure to pick up the slack" — like working over Christmas — when those with caring responsibilities are unavailable, experts say.
www.abc.net.au www.abc.net.au

Note Ms Wheeler provides no ideas for a solution!

Nothing new in the article or from the talking heads. I just noted the "non-mothers" and "non-parents" with a feeling of irritation
 
I love that it says "those with caring responsibilities" vs "non-parents" because we all know if you don't have children, you cannot have caring responsibilities for anyone else 😐

We wouldn't feel that pressure if it didn't exist, it'd be super if people stopped acting like holidays and celebrations are worth being there for only if you are a parent.
 
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