Childfree By Choice #14 Putting the free in childfree

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HoGi said:
Modern parents are absolutely cracked

I get not wanting to repeat the mistakes of our parents, but it seems like gen x/millennial parents onwards are so hell bent on not "traumatising" their child that everything is a problem
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Yeah it's ridiculous. People need to chill out. The kids are more likely to be traumatised by the tit their parents post on social media rather than Santa lol.

On the other hand I'm also surprised how many adults have told me they were extremely upset when they found out Santa isn't real. I don't even remember finding out, I think I just kinda always knew but chose to believe cause kids have a wild imagination.

I mean if we're going with that then why not stop kids from any make believe play? It's not real after all 🤣
 
Mamacita said:
Yeah it's ridiculous. People need to chill out. The kids are more likely to be traumatised by the tit their parents post on social media rather than Santa lol.

On the other hand I'm also surprised how many adults have told me they were extremely upset when they found out Santa isn't real. I don't even remember finding out, I think I just kinda always knew but chose to believe cause kids have a wild imagination.

I mean if we're going with that then why not stop kids from any make believe play? It's not real after all 🤣
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Build a bear must be terrified for the next phase of 'stopping make believe' when some parents decide it's far too dangerous to lie to children that they can dress up, play with, and cuddle a bear in case they try and do it with a real bear, or because they'll be traumatised when they realise they've been lied to about the size, the nature and the willingness to wear slogan tees of bears.
 
ToxicPony said:
I just have to give up my whole day to travel hours again to listen to her drone on about the baby.
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I'd come down with something, flu maybe. There's no way I'd be wasting time on her.

Although what @pinkmug advised is way better. Either way, and especially at this time of year, there's no way I'd be going to all that effort. She was downright rude to you, in numerous ways, including inviting someone else along. Have a think about the friendship, and if it's worth salvaging. Maybe it is, but I'd let her cool her heels for the time being, if I were you.
 
HoGi said:
Modern parents are absolutely cracked

I get not wanting to repeat the mistakes of our parents, but it seems like gen x/millennial parents onwards are so hell bent on not "traumatising" their child that everything is a problem
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These parents are doing their kids no favours by not letting them experience the lows of life.

Exams are a prime example “there’s no need for them to be stressed, they’re so young” precisely, which is why it’s good for them to learn how to manage stress whilst they’re young so they don’t struggle as much in the adult world where stress is unavoidable. They forget they won’t be children forever and the best thing you can do for them is teach them how to function in the adult world and be the safe space to help them through it.

Also FWIW when I found out Santa wasn’t real, I remember feeling disappointed, then lo and behold I got over it. Not disappointed in my parents, disappointed that I thought that magic was real. It’s really not that deep.
 
bananabutter said:
These parents are doing their kids no favours by not letting them experience the lows of life.

Exams are a prime example “there’s no need for them to be stressed, they’re so young” precisely, which is why it’s good for them to learn how to manage stress whilst they’re young so they don’t struggle as much in the adult world where stress is unavoidable. They forget they won’t be children forever and the best thing you can do for them is teach them how to function in the adult world and be the safe space to help them through it.

Also FWIW when I found out Santa wasn’t real, I remember feeling disappointed, then lo and behold I got over it. Not disappointed in my parents, disappointed that I thought that magic was real. It’s really not that deep.
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There’s going to be a lot of messed up adults who can’t handle their emotions.
 
whoareyouu said:
There’s going to be a lot of messed up adults who can’t handle their emotions.
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Social media has bred a bunch of people who are terrified of feeling anything other than bliss. If you disagree with them, you are a hater. If you are angry about something, you need to chill. If you want to get real about something, you lack whimsy. If you criticise something, you are jealous. They create this airy fairy bubble of an echo chamber and once it bursts, tantrums will be legendary because nobody learned to manage their reactions to those feelings when they were small enough to handle.
 
For fucks sake people need to get a grip (apologies for the rudeness, in a bit of a bad mood this morning!). One of my favourite memories of Christmas as a child was believing in Santa. I sometimes WISH I still had that magic in me, but obviously I eventually found out the truth and just got on with life. Why are people making such a big deal of it! It's just yet another way parents are letting children control them rather than the other way around.
 
I keep seeing those ‘don’t tell your kids the big presents are from Father Christmas cos they will be sad they didn’t get a play station and their mate did’ posts.
Well life isn’t fair. People will always have nicer things than you. A generation of unable to cope, wet Wednesday kids are going to turn into adults who have no concept of how to deal with life.
 
Blond3g1rl said:
I keep seeing those ‘don’t tell your kids the big presents are from Father Christmas cos they will be sad they didn’t get a play station and their mate did’ posts.
Well life isn’t fair. People will always have nicer things than you. A generation of unable to cope, wet Wednesday kids are going to turn into adults who have no concept of how to deal with life.
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Yeah I see a bit of a point in this, like kids from poor families that don't get much. That's quite hard to explain why Santa treats rich kids better eh 😅
 
When I was a kid I was kind of led to believe that Santa was just the delivery service, he didn't actually provide the presents. More believable in the 80s I suppose when Evri wasn't really a thing but less so now! I remember working it out that Santa wasn't real when I started to become aware of how big the world was and realised it was logistically impossible for one man to deliver to the whole world🤣 I think it's a bit of a rite of passage to work out the Santa thing, it's a part of growing up.

I was by no means devastated and I have never been annoyed at my parents for the whole charade. I have lovely memories of Christmas and none of them included Christmas eve boxes, elf on the shelf, polar express, Centre Parcs etc.

I remember a friend of mine being outraged that her parents had lied to her and vowed she never trusted them ever again. She never told her kids about Santa as she didn't want them to not trust her... I think that's a smidge batshit!
 
Mamacita said:
Yeah I see a bit of a point in this, like kids from poor families that don't get much. That's quite hard to explain why Santa treats rich kids better eh 😅
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We coped in the 90s.

We didn't have games consoles or named branded stuff. We just accepted that Santa bought stuff and some kids got more than others 🤷🏼‍♀️

But then we weren't all online looking at YouTube hauls and unboxings etc.

Yes you spoke to your mates about what they got, but I suppose we were just happy to have got a few of the things we circled in the argos catalogue. We were happy a friend got a PS1 as it mwant you could play it at theirs! Not upset we didnt get one.

I just feel like kids today have no resilience
 
Blond3g1rl said:
I keep seeing those ‘don’t tell your kids the big presents are from Father Christmas cos they will be sad they didn’t get a play station and their mate did’ posts.
Well life isn’t fair. People will always have nicer things than you. A generation of unable to cope, wet Wednesday kids are going to turn into adults who have no concept of how to deal with life.
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I also see the crowd of “I’m not telling my kids about Santa because I want them to know how hard I work and how many hours I put in to give them what they have”

Why deny them a little bit of magic just because you want the glory 🙄 they’ll soon work it out when they’re older anyway. Tell me you resent your kids without telling me you resent them 😂
 
HoGi said:
We coped in the 90s.

We didn't have games consoles or named branded stuff. We just accepted that Santa bought stuff and some kids got more than others 🤷🏼‍♀️

But then we weren't all online looking at YouTube hauls and unboxings etc.

Yes you spoke to your mates about what they got, but I suppose we were just happy to have got a few of the things we circled in the argos catalogue. We were happy a friend got a PS1 as it mwant you could play it at theirs! Not upset we didnt get one.

I just feel like kids today have no resilience
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Yeah that's true. I was more thinking of the kids that don't get anything from really poor families rather than not getting the latest branded gadget.

But also seen people online complain about the elf thing is that it's bad that kids are being told thatbthe lef is watching them to modify their behaviour. As if Santa wasn't used for that for years! I don't even think it's bad in any way but I guess that's just another addition to kids lives being free of any stress whatsoever.
 
Mamacita said:
Yeah I see a bit of a point in this, like kids from poor families that don't get much. That's quite hard to explain why Santa treats rich kids better eh 😅
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But that’s life. There is always someone richer than you, will have a nicer car, a bigger house etc.
I wasn’t upset that my mate at school got a game boy from Father Christmas and I didn’t. That’s just how it was.
 
Blond3g1rl said:
But that’s life. There is always someone richer than you, will have a nicer car, a bigger house etc.
I wasn’t upset that my mate at school got a game boy from Father Christmas and I didn’t. That’s just how it was.
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Yeah I get that. There are kids that get absolutely nothing, barely a Christmas dinner so I guess for them it's hard to understand why Santa would bring them nothing if apparently good kids get presents. I can see how it's weird that only rich kids can be good. That's not really life. But yeah I realise life is not fair.
 
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