Childfree by choice #13 Marriage and children are not an achievement, they’re a choice

[Jane Porcupine]

I used to say 'no but I have nieces and nephews' until I realised that it doesn't matter because I don't need to justify myself to anyone, and it's no one's business anyway.

Maybe the asked the man that question and he said 'EEEEW NO!'

 

[Mamacita]

I just don't like children and never had many in my life as I don't have any siblings so no nieces/nephews and none of my close friends have kids.

One thing that annoys me is when I say I don't like children and people's response is 'why, you used to be one yourself'- like okay? So what and to be fair I didn't even like children when I was a child either

 

[pinkmug]

What an insane thing to ask a woman to justify themselves for not having children. You are all so right, men hardly ever have to give a reason for not being a parent.

I don't have children in my family, the youngest relative I can think of is a grown ass adult who is a busy chef on posh cruise ships so I don't see him abandoning the seas to change diapers any time soon. Only one close friend of mine has a baby and she is a full advertisement on why you shouldn't have kids unless you are absolutely devoted to parenthood. I fell out with the only other close friend who has a child.

Half of the time, I feel nothing towards children and the other times, I am almost always irritated. I am a caring person towards the people I've chosen to keep in my life but I wouldn't consider myself particularly nurturing. Most of my mental energy is spent trying to act normal at my job. And I'm supposed to convince some random person who might be curious that I'm really honestly a motherly person at heart, truly, just look at all the other kids and/or pets I am loving oh so very much?

I love animals but tbh I'm not even a pet person, I want nothing more complicated than an herb at home. All this apologising for a life choice that affects nobody but ourselves is tedious and insulting.

 

[msmuse]

Went to a wedding on the weekend and the bride announced a special song for all mothers to get up and dance to. Not sure how that was related to nuptials but good for them. I went to bathroom during this special dance and could hear tears. Very insensitive.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Almost as bad as women for whom being "Daisy's Mummy" is their entire personality.

Worrying thing is I think she's actually serious.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Kids - my experience.......

 

[ElectricDreams]

My 6 year old nephew just asked me if I was going to ever have a baby. I said no and he asked why. I wasn't really sure of the appropriate way to answer that question but just said "because I don't want to". He asked if I would when me and Uncle Electric get married and I said still no. Apparently he really wants a baby boy in the family so there'll be more boys than girls! Er, no thanks! Don't think he'll get a cousin out of his other aunty either as she seems to be very much enjoying single childfree life at the moment!

 

[Reverend]

My 6 year old nephew just asked me if I was going to ever have a baby. I said no and he asked why. I wasn't really sure of the appropriate way to answer that question but just said "because I don't want to". He asked if I would when me and Uncle Electric get married and I said still no. Apparently he really wants a baby boy in the family so there'll be more boys than girls! Er, no thanks! Don't think he'll get a cousin out of his other aunty either as she seems to be very much enjoying single childfree life at the moment!

My nephews kept asking because they wanted cousins. I replied that if I had children, I'd have less to spend on their Christmas and birthday presents. That shut them up.

 

[ElectricDreams]

My nephews kept asking because they wanted cousins. I replied that if I had children, I'd have less to spend on their Christmas and birthday presents. That shut them up.

If he asks again I'll use this, it would definitely work on him

 

[MavisBeacon]

My nephews kept asking because they wanted cousins. I replied that if I had children, I'd have less to spend on their Christmas and birthday presents. That shut them up.

You are a genius!

 

[YetAnotherObsessionx]

Almost as bad as women for whom being "Daisy's Mummy" is their entire personality.

Worrying thing is I think she's actually serious.

I've seen a woman on my LinkedIn who has put being a mum as her job. Jeeeeeeeez that's not right for LinkedIn! You wouldn't put it on a CV for a job application would you... and can guarantee no man would ever put being a dad down as a job.

 

[bananabutter]

I've seen a woman on my LinkedIn who has put being a mum as her job. Jeeeeeeeez that's not right for LinkedIn! You wouldn't put it on a CV for a job application would you... and can guarantee no man would ever put being a dad down as a job.

Honestly gives me the ick when women talk about being a full time mum as a job it’s not like the mothers who go to work clock off from motherhood is it

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Why the duck would you bother to put that on LinkedIn? Roles and responsibilities: wiping arses and noses?

It literally screams ex career woman who thought she wanted kids then realised that she fucked up her career by doing so so she spends her days spying on linked in seeing her ex colleagues progress whilst she’s stuck at home debating which brand of nappy is most absorbent.

 

[OatMatchaLatte]

Santander, in its investing for women series, keeps primarily describing the women hosting the event first using their relation to children and then by their Santander job title and it is DOING MY HEAD IN. Example: Lorelai Gilmore, mother of one, inn manager. It smacks of trying to make this relatable to women, and they would NEVER do the same for men. I'm going to complain.

 

[YetAnotherObsessionx]

Why the duck would you bother to put that on LinkedIn? Roles and responsibilities: wiping arses and noses?

It literally screams ex career woman who thought she wanted kids then realised that she fucked up her career by doing so so she spends her days spying on linked in seeing her ex colleagues progress whilst she’s stuck at home debating which brand of nappy is most absorbent.

These women on social media: 'oh I love being a mummy, it's so fulfilling, every day of making precious memories has finally given me a purpose like no other, I love you my tiny bundle of joy (despite the fact you can't read this)'

These women in private: 'oh god if I have to go to another soft play centre or argue about brushing teeth again, I'll lose my mind - please just give me a desk and some Excel spreadsheets, even if it's just for a day - I was good at that'

Perhaps I think this way as my own mother did not enjoy being a mother

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Santander, in its investing for women series, keeps primarily describing the women hosting the event first using their relation to children and then by their Santander job title and it is DOING MY HEAD IN. Example: Lorelai Gilmore, mother of one, inn manager. It smacks of trying to make this relatable to women, and they would NEVER do the same for men. I'm going to complain.

Yeah duck that! I’ll complain as well. I hate how we want equality to men in the workplace but a women’s entire identity here is how many kids she has. How is that relevant to how she does her job? We don’t get “here’s Chris, father of twins, proctologist” do we?

Love from FlipFlop87, selfish witch with no kids, account manager
---

These women on social media: 'oh I love being a mummy, it's so fulfilling, every day of making precious memories has finally given me a purpose like no other, I love you my tiny bundle of joy (despite the fact you can't read this)'

These women in private: 'oh god if I have to go to another soft play centre or argue about brushing teeth again, I'll lose my mind - please just give me a desk and some Excel spreadsheets, even if it's just for a day - I was good at that'

Perhaps I think this way as my own mother did not enjoy being a mother

I babysat for my niece and got a taste of what motherhood was like and after ten minutes I kid you not knew that children were not for me! My sister in law was like “oh it’s so hectic being a mum, you just don’t get a minute to yourself.”
My niece? Slept half the morning, woke up for food and a change then fucked off back to sleep. I was climbing the walls with boredom desperate for her to wake up just so I had something to do. I left thinking, god if I had to do this every single day I’d lose my mind. It’s so mind numbingly boring.

 

[pinkmug]

Santander, in its investing for women series, keeps primarily describing the women hosting the event first using their relation to children and then by their Santander job title and it is DOING MY HEAD IN. Example: Lorelai Gilmore, mother of one, inn manager. It smacks of trying to make this relatable to women, and they would NEVER do the same for men. I'm going to complain.

Reeks of "let's soften those big serious manager titles by adding the nurturing motherhood aspects so men won't be so intimidated" to me.

 

[esk]

It literally screams ex career woman who thought she wanted kids then realised that she fucked up her career by doing so so she spends her days spying on linked in seeing her ex colleagues progress whilst she’s stuck at home debating which brand of nappy is most absorbent.

Also sounds like the type of person who says that they attended the School of Hard Knocks and graduated from the University of Life.

 

[qqwertyy]

Santander, in its investing for women series, keeps primarily describing the women hosting the event first using their relation to children and then by their Santander job title and it is DOING MY HEAD IN. Example: Lorelai Gilmore, mother of one, inn manager. It smacks of trying to make this relatable to women, and they would NEVER do the same for men. I'm going to complain.

This is so odd to me. What if they don’t want or can’t have kids? Jane Bloggs, mother of none? Jane Smith, infertile? You’re so right that they’d never do it for men.

 

[whoareyouu]

I fear I’m now falling foul to the ‘you’re of childbearing age’ issue when it comes to the job search. I’ve never ever had issues getting jobs in my field before but now I’m in my mid 30s it’s an issue and I’m not getting call backs or interviews.