Childfree by choice #13 Marriage and children are not an achievement, they’re a choice

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ChastityDingle said:
Exactly. It's depressing tbh.

That and the martyrdom of I can't go to the bathroom alone and so on. The baby / child won't melt if left safely somewhere for two minutes.
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I do have some sympathy with this, as when I stupidly volunteered to look after my nephew after my sister was in hospital after a car crash, he expected to follow me everywhere!! or else!!!
I was literally on the floor by the time he was removed from me.
Totally cemented my decision never to have kids. 😁
 
mcfeez said:
Had someone tell me recently it was 'discriminatory' that hotels, airlines etc have higher prices during July and August when I mentioned my husband and I were travelling at the end of September.
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Someone’s never heard of supply and demand clearly

Don’t have kids if it bothers you so much! Idiots. Although clearly many of them are just going during school season anyway and proudly going to the papers to say that. Also idiots.
 
Interestingbitsnbats said:
Women at work, she works one weekend shift a week has to get all three of her young kids up either on the Saturday or the Sunday and make sure they've had breakfast and dressed before she comes to work for 8. Because partner wouldn't know where to start then rush back(she finish either 8 or 7.30 but rushes the tit out her work and doesn't do right or the bare minimum) because he's got pigeons and chickens at allotment that need sorting.
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“Married single mothers”! My friend can’t come out, which isn’t often, until she has cooked, fed and bathed her children. So many working mothers normalise this and I wonder why.
 
EyeLoveIcelands said:
“Married single mothers”! My friend can’t come out, which isn’t often, until she has cooked, fed and bathed her children. So many working mothers normalise this and I wonder why.
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My best friend who has a 9 and 13 year old has more of a life now because she's divorcing her husband. After he left she realised she didn't even need him and that him being there was just some else to clean up after. He rarely has the kids she records how long he has them something to do with process of divorce. She worked out he had them 14hours in two months.
 
Interestingbitsnbats said:
My best friend who has a 9 and 13 year old has more of a life now because she's divorcing her husband. After he left she realised she didn't even need him and that him being there was just some else to clean up after. He rarely has the kids she records how long he has them something to do with process of divorce. She worked out he had them 14hours in two months.
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Good for her for dropping the baggage. He will be at work though bragging that he’s dad of the year even though he can’t stand his kids!
 
Love laughing at the unhinged nanny requests.
 

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Speaking of married single mothers, I remember a woman I worked with temporarily, many years ago. She had just discovered she was pregnant. I was a mere youth, and only passing through but I still remember her crying silently in the staff room, with her manager trying to console her.

The husband did absolutely nothing in the house, even though they were both working full time. The other kids were all at school by then, and I suppose she was hoping to have a bit of down time but was then back to square one. She was such a lovely lady, I felt very sorry for her.
 
ChastityDingle said:
Speaking of married single mothers, I remember a woman I worked with temporarily, many years ago. She had just discovered she was pregnant. I was a mere youth, and only passing through but I still remember her crying silently in the staff room, with her manager trying to console her.

The husband did absolutely nothing in the house, even though they were both working full time. The other kids were all at school by then, and I suppose she was hoping to have a bit of down time but was then back to square one. She was such a lovely lady, I felt very sorry for her.
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Just from this anecdote I can tell the type of bloke the husband was - refuses to wear a condom (for his comfort) and also refuses to lift a finger round the house. Crazy how some men grow up thinking they are No 1.
 
ChastityDingle said:
Speaking of married single mothers, I remember a woman I worked with temporarily, many years ago. She had just discovered she was pregnant. I was a mere youth, and only passing through but I still remember her crying silently in the staff room, with her manager trying to console her.

The husband did absolutely nothing in the house, even though they were both working full time. The other kids were all at school by then, and I suppose she was hoping to have a bit of down time but was then back to square one. She was such a lovely lady, I felt very sorry for her.
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Aw bless her heart, this is really really sad.
 
corneliahosendove said:
https://www.12ft.io/https://www.12f...ness/2024/sep/16/childfree-no-kids-experience

Childfree article in the guardian today.
"I have a pretty carefree life’: four adults on what being childfree is like"
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I noticed they only ask the question 'What presence have children, or caregiving generally, had in your life?' to the women they interviewed and not the man. 🙄
 
Jane Porcupine said:
I noticed they only ask the question 'What presence have children, or caregiving generally, had in your life?' to the women they interviewed and not the man. 🙄
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i hate when they do this and i HATE HATE when women have to justify being childfree by saying they have children in their lives in other ways. like you say, men never have to clarify that they like being an uncle or they love seeing their friends’ kids. women always do. i say this as someone with very few kids in my life because people always go onto the no nieces or nephews? to try and make themselves feel better 🤣

the stats in that article were really interesting reading though!
 
LaBlonde said:
i hate when they do this and i HATE HATE when women have to justify being childfree by saying they have children in their lives in other ways. like you say, men never have to clarify that they like being an uncle or they love seeing their friends’ kids. women always do. i say this as someone with very few kids in my life because people always go onto the no nieces or nephews? to try and make themselves feel better 🤣

the stats in that article were really interesting reading though!
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absolutely agree that this question pops up depressingly often during childfree discussion. Its utterly irrelevant. There is no equivalence to being an actual parent. Being an aunt or a dog owner or whatever is completely different and not comparable in the slightest. I remember an interview with Kim Cattral (?) & she said she was 'a mother in other ways' by being active in her friends childrens lives etc. It felt like she was having to be apologetic for not having her own but maybe also arrogant that she thought her role in these kids lives was anything close to being a parent.
and yes those examples in the article were pretty positive and worth reading. x
 
MavisBeacon said:
I find small children intolerable and do my best to avoid being with them at all, including the ones I'm related to. I don't feel the need to justify to the world that I am a nice person really, no really i am.
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I love my nieces but a select few hours I've had enough. We went for breakfast once and one of them had a extreme meltdown when we were getting ready to leave. People were staring as she's screaming so I had to leave and wait at the car. It was so draining.
 
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