Carrie Hope Fletcher #39 On the 12th day of Joelmas my true love gave to me… a lifetime of co-dependency

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Sping said:
Scoot helped Joel pick the ring apparently... so looks like he's on board with this trainwreck.
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I mean he probably wouldn't have needed help with her preferences if he knew his "wife to be" for longer than..oh..say..FIVE MONTHS 🙃

Poor Scott probably either was asked, felt obliged or it was some attempt to make it something Carrie would like at least so she wasn't stuck with a ring she hated
 
Snoaks said:
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The way he writes just comes off as so…worrying? to me. It’s like he’s just so codependent and obsessed with her it’s unnatural. Add in the fact that he’s 35 and they’ve only been dating for 5 months? If I was Carrie I would be so creeped out by this, it would feel so suffocating
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„She’s home!!!!” It’s like my dog when I’m coming back from grocery store. I wonder if he peed himself out of excitement when he saw her
 
So I had a look at Joel's following list to see if the tattoo shop was on there. LOOK AT THIS 😭
 

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Ok I'm leaving this here because I think it's a helpful thing to include in this conversation about Joel's red flags (and in case Carrie reads here, I do think this youtube channel would be helpful for her as well, just based on what we've seen of her love life so far).

This youtube channel is about C-PTSD, and how those who have it are prone to create unhealthy relationships. It helped me personally to work out why I used to create so many codependent dynamics. I'm not sure that I have C-PTSD necessarily, but regardless, it provides really good insight into how emotional neglect in childhood can lead you to create harmful relationship dynamics later in life. The stories in the videos I copied here reminded me quite a bit of Carrie and Joel. The videos about rejection and negative behaviour making you even more obsessive about a relationship, and making you want to give even more, also remind me of Carrie in her past relationships. It outlines really well, in more detail, why the instant, smothering love that Joel is pushing is not a sign that you're likely to have a good relationship.



 
onasidequest said:
I think someone needs to make a list of all of the crazy tit Joel has done, in date order and drop it off at the next theatre Carrie's working in, under he guise of fan mail. Maybe put it in a gift bag so it looks like free tit so she definitely opens it.

So she can see in black and white how crazy the guy is.
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And send it to Scott too! Feel like he probably already knows it but needs it confirmed!
 
emmer_moans said:
I can see them getting married and then him taking her for half hour house value in the divorce :(. I hope she signs a prenup. As much as she irritates me I’d hate for her to be fleeced by clingy Joel when it all goes wrong. He’ll WANT his “share”
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I'm also worried that he wants to get a house together because he doesn't like the idea of Carrie owning her own property that she could kick him out of (and that she lived in with her ex at one point...). Maybe not, maybe they just want to choose and decorate a house that's to both their tastes, but I do worry about it. They've not even been together a year, it would be so much smarter for her to hold on to her own property, so she's not dependent on/tied to him in that sense.
 
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