I'm so baffled by the fact that she never went down the Long Covid (illness faker edition!) road. I think she is too into her histrionics to lay still for that act to work. She is not even good at faking Trich anymore (cave: I believe her initial diagnosis was real, her shaving pulling patches was not)
Adhd diagnosis won't be enough. Then it will be the lack of medication. Then it will be the lack of benefits. Then the lack of a care taker . If she acts herself into getting one, she will complain about the care taker. If her parents die, she will complain about the lack of support by her siblings. Then somatic symptoms will appear again. Then it's lack of pain killers. She will never stop. Nothing will help.
I do agree that she is getting worse since the autism diagnosis and moving back home. Her mother is enabling her (while she jokes about her mothers disability). Her meltdowns are more aggressive, she is so often upset and rambling (which is not an adhd symptom at all). Plus her ramblings are getting more detached from reality by the day. I fear the tit we don't see (re: kayaking friends telling her to get help) is even worse. If she continues she is going to get committed.
I think to an extent that she wants to be sectioned or to be put in a care setting. I do remember her moaning and begging to be in or something along those lines in 2020 when she was very mentally unwell. I think that she has convinced herself that she can't live in the 'neurotypical world ,' due to her late diagnosis. I think that she wants to be put into a care setting as it gives her victim status. She's convinced herself that she can't manage in the world and I think that she sees her solution to her failings and difficulties due to her diagnosis is to take herself out of the 'neurotypical world. '
She feels like she isn't 'welcome' or can't fit in the 'neurotypical world' and I could see her trying to get a carer or at least try to get on the dole so she doesn't have to engage with the world. She doesn't have a husband who is willing to be a full time carer for her and work full time to support her, so it might be her option.
She's let this diagnosis and her potential ADHD give her an excuse to give up on life. A diagnosis at her age is more for understanding and acceptance or herself and to get a bit more support in the workplace or where and can get it. She's got a constant excuse for why things haven't gone her way and why she's given up.
She's convinced herself that she can't function in the world and suddenly she can't due to being late diagnosed. She has been able to go to university and to film school in New York. She's been a mental health advocate. She's worked and even when she worked in Lush, she was staying in London in hostels and traveling for work. She can drive. She's had had her own home. She has hobbies and she films videos. She has looked after herself and managed an independent life. She's done so much with herself before her 30s before her diagnosis.
She honestly made me so annoyed when she filmed a video saying 'if I had known if I was autistic, would I have gone to university.' I don't honestly think that she would have bothered or even tried back then. It's like her last accomplishments mean nothing and have vanished due to her diagnosis.
I am curious about what happens behind the scenes especially with the kayaking club, such as the party that she left early and why she has to leave them, and her friends telling her to get help ect. Beckie always poses herself to be the victim and always concludes that she isn't 'welcome,' or 'doesn't/can't fit in.' I'd love to be a fly on a wall or see anything that she filmed at the time to see what was going on or to see Beckie's perspective at the time.
Honestly if she's feels so isolated all the time, she should take the dog out for a walk. As a ND person myself , having a dog has helped me a lot- though can't wait for the teething to end! The dog has forced me to speak to a lot of people and to be honest, provides an instant topic of conversation, to the extent of where my dog has been a source of social scaffolding for me. I've even made a friend because of the dog! I go out a lot more and even go to cafes, which I only went to with my wife. Honestly, I think that something minor like walking the dog would help her even if it's just to stop her filming herself constantly.
I've got an autism assessment in January and I've given my wife permission to give my arse a kick if I even moan like Beckie even just once
thanks for replying directly to my statements that you don’t work. You post multiple stories throughout the working day of you packing your flat, going on outings, playing piano and generally making hundreds of videos of yourself doing random tit there is no way you are working from home.
