Ashley James #39 Fighting the patriarchy one breast out at a time.

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Farkingherkin said:
So when people's babies fall asleep on a car journey, do you not bring the car seat in and let them sleep longer? Even if they are positioned well and have the monitor directly on them with no blankets etc?
Do you wake them up after the car journey to get them out?
I didn't realise this was so bad. I don't have a doona but if my little one falls asleep in the car I usually bring her into the house in the car seat. She's 1 now
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I wouldn’t leave them unattended (even with a monitor on) and only for a very short time. If a baby stops breathing it will be silent, so not something that will be picked up by a baby monitor. A baby could suffocate/stop breathing in the time a parent turned away for just a couple of minutes. Not saying this to scare monger but this is why it is dangerous and against safe sleeping guidelines.

ETA that obviously putting a baby in a car seat to drive somewhere is necessary and low risk for short times. It’s specifically putting the baby in there to sleep when not driving or leaving them for long periods with a parent distracted/with a baby monitor that increases the risk.
 
Re. Car seat sleeping
Surely you wouldn't be also able to detect if baby has stopped breathing in the rear view mirror when driving? Same as if the monitor is on them at home?

I have always made sure I'm watching the monitor carefully (which is directed on her torso and face) no blankets, positioned well, not wearing too many layers etc. She's also almost 1.

I would never put my baby to sleep for night time in a car seat. If she needed to be upright I would settle in for the evening in bed with her on my chest! And also you can't even see Ada's face on the monitor.

I'm curious as to if other parents do what I do or just end the nap when the car journey is finished? I obviously want to keep my baby safe, I didn't realise people didn't do this. As I thought it was ok for baby to sleep in the car seat for up to 2 hours.
 
Farkingherkin said:
So when people's babies fall asleep on a car journey, do you not bring the car seat in and let them sleep longer? Even if they are positioned well and have the monitor directly on them with no blankets etc?
Do you wake them up after the car journey to get them out?
I didn't realise this was so bad. I don't have a doona but if my little one falls asleep in the car I usually bring her into the house in the car seat. She's 1 now
Click to expand...
Unless it’s a lay flat car seat you’re supposed to take them out as it restricts their airways and causes positional asphyxiation. Current advice has changed from a max of 2 hours in a car seat to 30mins but I would say people aren’t stopping every 30 mins. If I were going to push it past 2 hours, I definitely wouldn’t rely on a monitor.
There are things that can be argued as OTT or over cautious and things where hundreds of children have died and this is the latter. It’s dangerous, no question.
A woken baby is better than a baby that can’t breathe. In a car, you have to rely on monitoring them but at home there’s absolutely no reason for them to be in a car seat. Head restraints to keep them from flopping are also incredibly dangerous and there are multiple cases of them causing death.

The feminism thing - the woman’s retort, while making good points was also horrendously condescending. Saying the young woman has a teeny tiny brain is not educating, it’s bullying. An older, smarter lady picking on a young woman. And the caption about her being a “basic bland white flour pick me girl”. It’s woman bashing.
 
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Farkingherkin said:
Ok thanks for your reply.
I appreciate the info.
I'm also curious about pram naps too. That's surely not a safe sleep surface like a bed or cot, but people get their babies to sleep all the time in prams and let them sleep for their naps there....
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Check the specific pram guidance. Some are rated for overnight and/or unattended sleep, some aren’t. And most recline. They would also be breathable. Car seats have to have integrity in the walls so can’t be breathable and have to position baby to protect the spine whereas prams don’t have these restrictions.
Same as baby nests, some are rated for safe sleep, others aren’t. Know your products.

This is where influencers are dangerous, they do things that make it look safe but others won’t all be using the same items. Ashley bases her parenting safety decisions on survivors bias “I had a cot bumper and I didn’t die so they must be safe” ignoring all the babies that did.
 
We transfer my eldest to her bed if she falls asleep in the car - once she’s asleep you can move her anywhere. Youngest would wake the moment I open the car door but I have sat in the car with them for 30 mins before whilst they napped.

Tbh safe sleep guidelines are tricky. You’re not supposed to leave a baby to sleep unattended until 6 months. I don’t know anyone who follows that rule for more than the first few months, especially if you have more than one. I started napping the littlest in the bedroom once they were disturbed by the toddler. It was that or no sleep.

As others have said though, there’s reasonable adjustments to the guidelines following common sense, and then there’s Ashley following her ‘instincts’. Wildly different outcomes!
 
I think what’s important to remember here is that we are only talking about Ashley and what she shows on her social media.

We were criticising her using a Doona for an unsupervised nighttime sleep, and for showing it to the world.

If she wants to put her own child/ren in danger not much will stop her, but by showing it online she may ‘influence’ someone else to do the same. That is reckless and unforgivable.
 
Farkingherkin said:
So when people's babies fall asleep on a car journey, do you not bring the car seat in and let them sleep longer? Even if they are positioned well and have the monitor directly on them with no blankets etc?
Do you wake them up after the car journey to get them out?
I didn't realise this was so bad. I don't have a doona but if my little one falls asleep in the car I usually bring her into the house in the car seat. She's 1 now
Click to expand...
I do bring my daughter in in her car seat but mostly I know she's really unlikely to sleep much more than 20 minutes longer once she's not in a moving car (and my son would have been the same). But I would never bring in her car seat to try to get her to sleep in it in the house, car naps are inevitable but I can't really understand why Ashley thinks the Doona is a sensible sleeping place in the house.... perhaps it's to reinforce the narrative of Ada having terrible sleep at the moment and therefore she's desperate to try anything so that she can function properly for her *work*, though obviously we have to remember that this is the golden child and therefore she won't be as negative about this as she was when it was Alf stopping her sleeping.
 
Sorry Trashley, ain't got a clue what you're talking about. None of my friends stare at me flirtatiously while pushing their breasts together for attention.

Screenshot_20240121-134527_Instagram.jpg
 
if you listen to the video where Alfie plays with he dolls holls its clear that 'Alfie' is the character in the green jumper and he puts him away after asking his mother 'wheres Alfie'. like a cute three year old attempt to hide. And given real life Alfie us also wearing a green jumper .. that makes sense. but Ash is desperate to push the narrative that he's genderfluid or something. its so bizarre. She is projecting her dislike of men onto her poor 3 year old how stupid and selfish do you have to be?

im not a parent so cant comment on inappropriate use of the Doona/safe sleep in that sense. But Alfie's reluctance to walk even with younger friend (coco) is seriously alarming. I wonder if he has a meltdown every time they ask him to walk and so she just lets him lie in the pram rather than deal with it. I get it - my brother hated walking and much preferred being carried but ny the time he was three our parents just got rid of all prams. He simply had to walk. But this kind of long term parenting thinking would totally escape Ash and her sidekick TNB
 
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