Alice Evans & Ioan Gruffudd #274 Alice Evans had to be told by a judge to GET A JOB

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There is an accepted difference between an enabler and a victim.

The victim of abuse cannot be an enabler because they have no power or agency. As difficult as it is to see or understand the extent of psychological and emotional abuse it causes as much fear as physical abuse. Ioan would have known he would be punished if he defied her. We have watched her inflict untold damage on him, his parents, his girlfriend and his children because he defied her. His fear is documented, real and justified.

An enabler is someone who has agency and power but who still covers up, minimises, denies and partakes in the abuse. Gloria, cheesestring, Mrs Piers Morgan, Faraday and Lorraine all enabled Alice.
 
Bridgeofsighs said:
I read that falling in love is projection, though in this case you project your good qualities onto the other person. I think that's what he did. She didn't have any of the good qualities he thought she had.
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Also dumping her would have been a nightmare. He had to do it anyway but it would have been a lot easier before the marriage.
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Do you remember an article or something she wrote when Ioan was in the States he was photographed with another woman? She got on the first plane to confront him as soon as she could. I remember because she said she mentioned she was wearing braces at the time.
She was never going to let her prey go.
He was just so naive and relatively innocent or thick.
Also the fame I think had gone to his head.
He had to be rescued from a cult by his Mother previously.
Anyway he has finally escaped but what a heavy cost.
 
Treacletrixter said:
The victim of abuse cannot be an enabler because they have no power or agency
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IG does and did have power and agency or he wouldn't have been able to leave her. It's not that black and white not to mention the abuse became worse over the years. The kids are in a trickier position but Ella seems to be gaining in confidence.
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Moe said:
Do you remember an article or something she wrote when Ioan was in the States he was photographed with another woman? She got on the first plane to confront him as soon as she could. I remember because she said she mentioned she was wearing braces at the time.
She was never going to let her prey go.
He was just so naive and relatively innocent or thick.
Also the fame I think had gone to his head.
He had to be rescued from a cult by his Mother previously.
Anyway he has finally escaped but what a heavy cost.
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I don't remember that article but I can believe it. I also believe she was banned from the set over her jealousy of Jessica Alba.
 
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welp said:
yeah, I pointed it out before that for the "pretty face" he is he appears to have very few steamy scenes in his career, and the majority seem to be before he was dating Alice. She also said she was refusing to watch a episode of Ringer where he had a steamy scene. And while he had those scenes in S1 of Harrow they stopped entirely for future seasons despite more love interests. Then the rumours abut her being jealous of Jessica Alba (actually she admitted it in an interview). She certainly limited him here (especially since he doesnt have the acting skills or personality as mentioned to be interesting in his own way, his face carried most of his career) and those are roles that you dont really get that much in your 50s anymore either.
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He had a couple of scenes in series 3 (we finished watching it the other day) but yes it was mostly series 1.
AsYouLikeIt said:
Y'all watch Worst Ex Ever on Netflix. Episode 3 reminds me of Alice and Ioan.
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yes I thought that too when I watched it
 
I think it's quite clear that Ioan fell for the illusion that Alice presented of herself, not her true self. He comes across as very naive and just seems way to nice. Didn't he also fall victim to some religious cult/organisation at one point? It looks like he grew up protected (some may argue too protected) and didn't see the red flags however obvious they may have presented themselves.
But then again, it's always easier to judge a situation like this from an outside perspective. Especially when you look at how much Alice has exposed herself over the last couple of years.
The only one who knows the real reasons for his actions is Ioan himself and I doubt he'll ever publicly speak about it.

Now it looks like he's slowly getting his confidence back and has been working on himself. I bet therapy has helped him quite a lot. It's just sad to see how much the court system has already failed him and the kids.
 
No credibility at all on OMB. She's talking about the couple of people who have called Alice out. Looks like she is also deleting those comments.

1000012054.jpg
 
Loveu2 said:
No credibility at all on OMB. She's talking about the couple of people who have called Alice out. Looks like she is also deleting those comments.

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"I dont even know anything about it but I will back the court certified female abuser" - Credibility 0 % 🙌

also "court orders mean nothing as they are often weaponised against protective mother" omg so the evil word "weaponised" is allowed to be used here? also Alice is no protective mother as the father is not dangerous.
 
SusieTCones said:
Whether it was through naivety, submissiveness, or willful blindness, Ioan missed a lot of red flags with her. The marriage proposal was bad enough, but after the Ioan Online fiasco and banning his parents, I don't know why he thought Alice was worth it.

People are complicated and we don't always understand their motivations, I guess.

MOO
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Psychologists claim it is addictive like gambling for one's brain. Some are more susceptible. Love bombing, then a drama, emotions run high, more love bombing, more drama. A rollercoaster. When originally there is more love bombing, then over time there is less and less. And the manipulated party keeps doing anything they can to get some good moments. It is like a casino - the big win has to come after so many losses. All they get is pittance and eventually nothing.
One keeps making up excuses and will not see the situation clearly. They will feel sorry for their abuser even -- if I go, they will not have anyone. It is not their fault, they cannot help it.

Also, there is the sunk cost fallacy. After such long time and so many losses taken, it is hard to give up.

Sadly, this is how the brain is often wired.

When we aid someone a lot, going out of the way to do nice things to them, our brain will deceive us and tell us that as we do these things, we must love that person a lot. So, being the giver, makes us care more for the people we give to, makes us more attached. (It does not work forever but can last quite a long. Now, when this other person just takes takes takes and never gives anything back, then eventually your eyes open how you are being taken advantage of. However, if the give something back, even very little, from time to time, it keeps that enchantment going.) We are often our worst enemies. The way how our brain can be so devious and betray us -- it is uncanny.

AFE made a massive mistake by stopping making any effort as she likely believed after the 2 girls that she had Ioan bagged forever and she let her mask slip permanently and consequently Ioan woke up and was no longer able to find any excuses for her.
 
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AuroraBorealis said:
Psychologists claim it is addictive like gambling for one's brain. Some are more susceptible. Love bombing, then a drama, emotions run high, more love bombing, more drama. When originally there is more love bombing, then over time there is less and less. And the manipulated party keeps doing anything they can to get some good moments. It is like a casino - the big win has to come after so many losses. All they get is pittance and eventually nothing.
One keeps making up excuses and will not see the situation clearly. They will feel sorry for their abuser even -- if I go, they will not have anyone. It is not their fault, they cannot help it.

Also, there is the sunk cost fallacy. After such long time and so many losses taken, it is hard to give up.

Sadly, this is how the brain is often wired.

When we aid someone a lot, going out of the way to do nice things to them, our brain will deceive us and tells us that as we do these things, we must love that person a lot. So, being the giver, makes us care more for the people we give to, makes us more attached. (It does not work forever but can last quite a long. Now, when this other person just takes takes takes and never gives anything back, then eventually your eyes open how you are being taken advantage of. However, if the give something back, even very little, from time to time, it keeps that enchantment going.) We are often our worst enemies. The way how our brain can be so devious and betray us -- it is uncanny.

AFE made a massive mistake by stopping making any effort as she likely believed after the 2 girls that she had Ioan bagged forever and she let her mask slip permanently and consequently Ioan woke up and was no longer able to find any excuses for her.
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I agree. He probably hit rock bottom emotionally.
 
Bridgeofsighs said:
I read that falling in love is projection, though in this case you project your good qualities onto the other person. I think that's what he did. She didn't have any of the good qualities he thought she had.
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That too.

Plus AFE played the part. Learning Welsh, pretending to be nice, sharing his dreams.
Narcs are very good at finding out what you dream about in a partner and in the love bombing phase they give it to you.
They just do not bother to keep it up.
 
chasingsunsets11 said:
I think it's quite clear that Ioan fell for the illusion that Alice presented of herself, not her true self. He comes across as very naive and just seems way to nice. Didn't he also fall victim to some religious cult/organisation at one point? It looks like he grew up protected (some may argue too protected) and didn't see the red flags however obvious they may have presented themselves.
But then again, it's always easier to judge a situation like this from an outside perspective. Especially when you look at how much Alice has exposed herself over the last couple of years.
The only one who knows the real reasons for his actions is Ioan himself and I doubt he'll ever publicly speak about it.

Now it looks like he's slowly getting his confidence back and has been working on himself. I bet therapy has helped him quite a lot. It's just sad to see how much the court system has already failed him and the kids.
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Remember the early video of Al on some French tv show? Where she appeared normal, charming? That's what he fell for. Over time the poison that was covert, leaked through the seams first and then just slapped him in the face.
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Loveu2 said:
No credibility at all on OMB. She's talking about the couple of people who have called Alice out. Looks like she is also deleting those comments.

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Court orders mean nothing....wow. OMB is just a stupid bleep too, huh.
 
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