jack monroe

Thanks to @BlendedSlop for the thread title and the many lovely fraus who nominated it. In our last thread... - Jack cleaned her kitchen! Unfortunately her nails still contain half a compost heap. - The shitty bungalow was infested with ghosts. - She got back on her "tea in risotto" bullshit...

Congratulations to @Walkdengirl for the words and @waffle maker for the nomination! 🎉 A joint thread title effort. Your prize: a baggy each of the scrap stock. Recap of thread #129 She was so happy and proud about Thunderclap. Earworm Jack woz ere. Plant Jack was ‘too shy’ to contact James...

Congratulations to @blurstoftimes for the thread title! 🎉. A whopping 135 reactions last time I checked. You know what this means. You’ve gone viral. Recap of thread #128 No furlough, Jack cry. What a sad little face. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Marcus. Her begging hour drew...

Congratulations to @Walkdengirl for the words and @Alansbigplate for the nomination of them! Your prize: a sharing platter of Jack’s peanut butter and Bombay Bad Boy delight. Recap of thread #127 It’s ‘not her job to provide the answers, it’s her job to provide recipes for beans’. Oh, yay...

Congratulations to @MooBelle for the thread title! 🎉 Your prize: a can opener (and a ring pull tin of your choice). Recap of thread #126 She started the new year at her desk, by the [electric] fire, wishing for furious cats. Counting Crows Jack came to stay. Cooper the cat sat on her first...

I've silently, gently and softly set up this thread while Princess Poca is sleeping. Thread title by @Incywincy Mini recap. JM has/hasn't severe/long/no Covid. Birthday cakes made by her are linked to fanny-proximity...

Congrats to @_blank_ on capturing the moment of Jack's latest deletion frenzy. Remember cabal, if it's deleted it never happened, okay? ETA that it's very appropriate that _blank_ came up with the thread title, cos blank is what you get pre 14 Dec in Monroe land.

Congratulations to @Incywincy for the thread title! 🎉 Recap of thread #123 Here are some forensic timelines of Jack’s covid origin story, thanks to @Harrybosch @Veronicaaa and @TheDragonWithAFlagon. We need to accept that long covid Jack a-cometh. She’s been having fever dreams and apples...

Can we keep the caps in the title for full shouty effect! Congratulations to @Scarletfever

Congratulations to @Sideboard Bob for the words and @blurstoftimes for championing them 🎉 Recap of thread #121 She organised a ‘huge’ Del Monte delivery of cans and fruit pots to go to the Fareshare warehouse. They will also be donating £10,000 to Magic Breakfast. She was ‘(slowly, gently...

New thread - congrats to @Flivver for the thread title! 🤒🌡🤒🌡🤒🌡🤒🌡

Congratulations to @Hollaaa for the thread title! 🎉 Your prize: front-row seats and tickets to The Sloppies after party (which is in Southend). Recap of thread #119 She got the ‘Rona. She’s been ‘practically ~ neurotic ~ about staying safe ... and there’s no point trying to identify where it...

Congratulations to @Captainmouse for the thread title! Nominated by three other posters, no less: @Petelgeuse, @Boyo, and @Minky McMoneypenny. A trifecta of nominations, well done Mouse. A plate of kumquats for you. Recap of thread #118 There were more eggs - this time of both chicken and...

Congratulations to @Emmapism for the thread title! 🎉 Your prize is Christmas dinner at Jack’s. Mmmincemeat bread pudding (bring something to wash it down). Her festive feature in The Express happened. @MancBee took one for the cabal and purchased a copy of the paper. Photos here. Most...

Congratulations to @DinosaurSenior for the words and @HotesTilaire for nominating them! 🎉 Very close second to @kachoochoo for the topical and tropical: ‘Del Monte Trotter’. The Jack from Del Monte says yes, absolutely! At least she kind of looks like .. herself? Such a great company to...

Congratulations to @TriviaNewtonJohn for the thread title! 🎉 Multiple thread titles hat trick prize for you. Recap of thread #115 She asked what is the most thrillingly mundane thing that people have done recently. I think I might know the answer to that. Hold on to your hats: the recipe for...

Congratulations to @FrumpyCat for the words and @MancBee for the nomination. Another cheeky little duo! 🎉 There were several suggestions for titles referencing ‘terminator squiggle’, but in light of recent discoveries (see from bottom of p. 46 of the previous thread), it’s perhaps not...

It could only be SLOPBOT for #114 thanks to @traumatised sideboard Could someone do a recap and the Jack for Dummies link, please?

With thanks to @Sentient mirror for the thread title Recap of previous thread: Final arrangements and categories for the first annual Sloppies awards were made. Professional caterers were engaged. She is a forensic supermarket retail price tracker, benchmarking the cost of smart price...

Congratulations to @Sideboard Bob for the thread title! Best dig out those six-inch heels! You’re going viral, baby (the good kind). Well, the mystery of the tall, ‘astonishingly handsome’ man was finally revealed. He was Marcus Rashford, aka Jack’s ‘bashful’ ‘co-pilot and sous chef’, and she...

I've set up this thread, but I can't be bothered to write a recap. Sorry, you ninnies. Please, someone else do it. Thanks to @Smeghead for the title. Lots of votes, top bantz. For those on a grunk, at the time of going to press, she has NOT gone viral yet. I repeat, she has NOT gone viral.

Sorry, panic-picked the thread title because there weren't any nominations that I could see by sorting most popular. Round up of #109 courtesy of @Switchstreetz So far Jack has: - Buried the chaos of her nasty weekend spree on twitter by briefly pulling out some google translate Swedish -...

Congratulations to @kachoochoo for the thread title. 109 reactions 🎉 I believe it’s your first? Slow cooker surprise for you. Mmmm. Recap of thread #108 Apparently, a ‘concern troll’ emailed her agent. She’s not blacklisted - just look at all her recent employment! Well then, Jack. Time to...

Congratulations to @Scarletfever for the thread title! 78 reactions 🎉 Seeing as this is your second, I believe you have to eat a plate of the three tin tender. May the odds be ever in your favour. Ok, so technically @JoyceDivision won with: ‘Are ewe aware of our work, Tattle?’, but I’m afraid I...

Congratulations to @Satisfying Click for your first thread title! 107 reactions 🎉 Bumper pack of colouring pens in the post to you (but Jack’s posting them, so I wouldn’t hold my breath). Special mention to @Terrible for: ‘Upstaged by a sheep - move over Sloppy, it’s Nibbles and Loppy’. Recap...