Womanhood and injustices against women #2

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The idea that Giselle gave consent but then was too embarassed to confirm this to the police or in some way regretted her freely given consent and so has decided to have not just a trial but a devastatingly public trial as some perceived way save face is just an extension of the trope that women happily had sex, regretted it in the morning and then falsely declare they have been raped. The trope in and of itself reveals total failure to grasp the reality of women's lives and the idea that some kind of sex crime trial would restore our public standing rather than see us subject to international debate, debasement and ridicule in large part.
 
Trauma Frotters said:
The idea that Giselle gave consent but then was too embarassed to confirm this to the police or in some way regretted her freely given consent and so has decided to have not just a trial but a devastatingly public trial as some perceived way save face is just an extension of the trope that women happily had sex, regretted it in the morning and then falsely declare they have been raped. The trope in and of itself reveals total failure to grasp the reality of women's lives and the idea that some kind of sex crime trial would restore our public standing rather than see us subject to international debate, debasement and ridicule in large part.
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Exactly. I imagine it's more common that women stay silent about being attacked because they convince themselves they agreed to what happened or minimise it.

I've tried not to read too much about the case because I'm not in the right mindset now, but has there been any mainstream discussion about the depravity of men and why so many were willing to take part and/or stay silent?

You have tens of men attacking one woman but it's the woman's behaviour that gets picked apart. It just tells us that committing sexual violence is more understandable than being a victim, an unconscious one no less.
 
If you’re a woman in an abusive relationship with a police officer - good luck with that.

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the...-still-ignore-domestic-abusers-in-their-ranks

Paula” was married to a Metropolitan police officer for more than a decade, during which time, she says, he attacked her with a knife, exhibited coercive and controlling behaviour and filmed her covertly in her own home 24 hours a day for several years.

“He’d provoke me and I would shout back while he sat there calmly because he knew the cameras were on. He wouldn’t let me sleep at night, so at times I was irritable with my child. He edited my worst moments on film into a montage and had me arrested for child cruelty,” Paula says.

“Soon after, I reported him for domestic abuse. While I spent the night in a police cell, he was allowed to continue in his job in surveillance. When I told the desk sergeant about the coercive behaviour, voyeurism and attacks, he said he’d call my then husband in for ‘a chat’. My abuser was not arrested and footage of him assaulting me was not seized. The differences between how the police investigated me and how they investigated him are like night and day.”
 
I know in the scheme of things it isn't the worst but this still fucks me off. The 'good guy'...

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.dai...g-tennis-baby.html?ito=social-whatsapp-usmain

People love to pretend that cheating is like tripping over, but this man has lied to an intimate partner for a sustained period - not only was he cheating and risking her health by not taking precautions, but gaslighting and accusing her of his actions... this is emotional abuse. Poor woman.
 
Blueblue123 said:
www.bbc.com

'I am a rapist', admits husband Dominique Pelicot in French mass rape trial

Dominique Pelicot, 71, is accused of drugging his wife Gisèle to sleep and recruiting dozens of men to abuse her.
www.bbc.com

Sadly, it's only now that a lot of people will consider him a rapist. Because some people need a man to validate the obvious.
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I'm already seeing rape apologists say he's a victim too because he was sexually abused as a child. We can have the upmost sympathy for the child he was while also condemning the man he became but that seems to be impossible for many.
 
Eureka said:
I'm already seeing rape apologists say he's a victim too because he was sexually abused as a child. We can have the upmost sympathy for the child he was while also condemning the man he became but that seems to be impossible for many.
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I loathe this abused becomes abuser narrative. My grandfather was beaten relentlessly by his alcoholic father throughout his childhood. He never lifted a finger to any of his children or grandchildren (at a time when smacking was seen as a normal part of disciplining a child) you could not meet a kinder more gentle man. And in the case of sexual abuse, they all know it is wrong.
 
Being abused does not give anyone carte blanche to abuse others. It's a hateful notion and excuses those who do of their own behaviour.

I was abused most of my childhood and refuse to be put in the same category as a man who drugged his wife for years, invited strangers into their home to abuse her, film the entire ordeal and then claim previous abuse.

No.
 
Carefree said:
Being abused does not give anyone carte blanche to abuse others. It's a hateful notion and excuses those who do of their own behaviour.

I was abused most of my childhood and refuse to be put in the same category as a man who drugged his wife for years, invited strangers into their home to abuse her, film the entire ordeal and then claim previous abuse.

No.
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I am so sorry for you, and the child you were. You must have incredible strength.

You only have to look at the wild blame-shifting excuses (the bit about being 'disappointed' his wife looking after his dying mother didn't do more about his prescription drug abuse) in the Huw Edwards judgement to see how abusers will weaponise this. I do not see any evidence that being abused makes you an abuser.

Also, we know these people are wild liars who exploit empathy so duck.right.off.
 
Eureka said:
I'm already seeing rape apologists say he's a victim too because he was sexually abused as a child. We can have the upmost sympathy for the child he was while also condemning the man he became but that seems to be impossible for many.
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Like "struggling with a trans identity" (which so many violent sexual offenders now trot out in their defence), "I was abused as a child" seems to be used as a 'get-out of jail free" card for many of these vile men.

The overwhelming percentage of victims of sexual abuse are women and girls. The overwhelming number of offenders are men.

If being abuse caused someone to offend, then surely it would be women who were the main offenders.

He's scum, and so is every man who took advantage of that poor woman.
 
TheMiceInTheShed said:
The overwhelming percentage of victims of sexual abuse are women and girls. The overwhelming number of offenders are men.

If being abuse caused someone to offend, then surely it would be women who were the main offenders.

He's scum, and so is every man who took advantage of that poor woman.
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Exactly what I was going to say. I used to answer the phone on a rape crisis helpline and I remember being told that during my training.

Yes, some people who suffer CSA do go on to offend as adults but it’s not an excuse. I can have compassion for the child who was abused but as an adult you are responsible and accountable for your actions. It’s not an excuse.
 
I can see why people find this uncomfortable, the statue does look like victim of a horrible crime
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