Weddings - experiences, costs, stories, advice

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Got married 3 years ago. Small church then garden reception with a marquee. 65 guests total.
What really wound me up was when people would say, “oh yeah. You’ll save money” or “so much cheaper”
Actually no, I couldn’t find and venues i loved which didn’t have a single draw back and I needed my elderly grandmother to be comfortable so we had it in her garden.
We had to get/rent everything but I wouldn’t have done it any other way. Used a bar company and put on a free bar too with everything from arrival drinks, fancy gins to cocktails and the standard wine and beers. No wedding breakfast or seating plan but afternoon tea catered and then separate caterers came in the evening and put on a huge buffet bbq. Rented some posh loos, had a singer and a DJ. And a tower of cupcakes so everyone could help themselves. No speeches as my husband and bestman are both quite shy and couldn’t imagine any from of public speaking. All in it cost us 18k. The only thing I wish I could do over is the whole day again, exactly the same. Absolutely loved it and would recommend to anyone that has the space!
 
I’m not even engaged and I’m in no rush to get married. If I did I’d want the least fuss/expense possible but still share it in some way with loved ones (mainly for my partners sake as he would want to have a proper wedding if he could).

My ideal would be a very small registry office ceremony with 2 witnesses.
Followed by either a nice lunch out with maybe 10-15 guests, or if we had a bigger garden a BBQ. Then people could come and go as they pleased, no obligation.
I’ve already mentally picked a dress on ASOS and I’d just wear flats or sandals (I’m assuming it’s summer in my mind!). I’d ask a friend who is a good photographer to take some natural shots but wouldn’t want any posed pictures. No speeches, no first dance, no band, no wedding video, no seating plan - ideal! I’d then have a lovely honeymoon and come back without a load of debt hanging over me🍹
 
Loved our wedding. I love ALL weddings to be honest.
We had 50 people in the day and 120 at night. It was at a golf club from start to finish.
We had the traditional of ceremony, wedding breakfast then the big night party. Everyone was dancing all night which is just what we wanted. I also may have fallen off the table at one point.

hypoharpy said:
Had a cheap and cheerful wedding . Wish we wouldnt have had the small party we had -we should have gone on holiday instead but we were emotionally blackmailed into it by family members.
Anyway, we're still together .

All I can say if you are getting married ,do what YOU BOTH want- don't be forced into anything .
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My mother in law booked a photo booth without even asking us and she s were furious. Just not what we wanted at all. Why do people think they can decide what goes on at other people’s wedding. Needless to say, it was cancelled and she lost £350.
 
In the middle of planning my wedding for next year and it’s a biggy 🤣
Postponed from 2021 and after the year we have had I’m more determined to have the big day and party that I want.
We have about 150 daytime and 50 more evening. The cost is something I don’t even want to tally up but we work hard and this is what we want to spend it on. So many people in my other half’s family have been so negative and told us we don’t need a big wedding but I’d uninvite them before making my wedding smaller
 
I've been married twice. Both very different experiences and came with their pros and cons.

My first wedding was very traditional. It was mainly traditional due to what freebies and favours available to us. For example my ex FIL had a friend with a vintage Rolls Royce he arranged for us, my mum was good at sugar crafts so bought the 3 fruitcake tiers from Asda and decorated it with flowers (it was beautiful and intricate, it looked classy but very traditional), between us we knew of an MUA and a DJ. I only had two adult bridesmaids, one already had a prom style gown which I liked so had it altered and based my colour scheme on that which reduced costs. The other bridesmaid does not wear dresses and was in a position to have something alternative made herself with a similar colourway. We got married in a local Catholic church attended by my grooms devout mother, this meant a lions share of guests were friends of hers but as my grooms parents had paid for everything else it seemed only polite to allow them to choose the location. I felt this wedding was more for the benefit of others than ourselves, in hindsight. No one really remembers much at weddings.

My 2nd wedding, I married my groom in Vegas. We stayed in a hotel for 2 weeks and got married in a chaple, in between. We booked everything in advance and paid for it ourselves with the exception of my dad paying for the hire of my dress and shoes. That alone was approx £400 but there were much cheaper and alot more expensive options. It was so romantic and special. Something felt so saucy and naughty about it, even though his mother and nephew flew out for a few days to be our witnesses and party after an expense to themselves as they wanted to go, we appreciated them coming but I'd have equally been happy dragging 2 strangers off the street. We had a hire limo, a fake Elvis. It was corny and tacky but the meal after was elegant. Vegas is whatever you make it. Getting married this way felt more romantic, meaningful and most certainly fun. It was expensive though, I think altogether £13, 000, including the whole of the 2 weeks away, flights and daily eat out expenses but that was nearly 10 years ago.

In hindsight though, I just don't think weddings are worth it expense wise. If you have money to throw at one, great, but I'd do so with just you and your groom in mind. Like I say weddings are rarely remembered.

No one ever tells you what a belter of a wedding they've been.
 
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My husband's family live abroad and there was so much drama about where we would get married and the guestlist (both of our mums seemed to be under the impression it was their wedding!). We actually started planning our wedding, scrapped the plans, and spent our wedding savings on buying a flat instead. 😂

For our second attempt at wedding planning, we decided that to avoid annoying either one side of the family, we would just annoy both sides and have the wedding in a location far away from everyone. 🤭

We went with an amazing wedding package at a 5 star resort in Thailand. It cost us less than £6k for a wedding for 10 - including hair and makeup, photographer, videographer, traditional dancers and musicians, unlimited cocktails, champagne for toasting, bouquets for myself and my bridesmaid, massive flower arch, wedding cake, celebrant. We got married on the resort's private beach at sunset, had an amazing Thai dinner on the beach, and the resort surprised us with fireworks.

We spent the week before the wedding at the resort with our families and it was such a special opportunity for them to get to know each other and everyone got on like a house on fire. The day after our wedding, everyone set off to other parts of SE Asia and left us to honeymoon on our own for 2 weeks.
 
I got married in November 2019 with 70 guests - all family members except 3.
We got married in a Hotel and when we went to view, someone gave me advice and asked if they had last minute dates/deals.
We viewed the venue in February and booked for November. It was £30pp cheaper as it was classed as a “late booking” and was in a friday. Also book days like Thursday as they are cheaper and dont give a hoot about people complaining about booking time of work as i doubt they would be happy to pay the extra so you could do a saturday.

I brought my wedding dress at a sample sale in the dress store near my venue. It wasnt the exact one i wanted but i saved over £1000 on it and i had to buy the dress of the rail. But the shop cleaned it all up, altered it and fixed any lil nicks in it from where it was used as display. No one could tell and was happy with the savings. Also search sales like Next for bridesmaid dresses.

Search all second hand selling pages like facebook marketplace, sell my wedding and even charity shops. I brought most of my decor from there from tealight holders to sweet jars.

Everyone told me over and over its your day, if your happy etc. BUT trust me, they say this to you but never actually bide by it. I told myself i wouldnt get stresses but became a mess. MIL who didnt want to be near her ex husband and wife even though they had been divorced for 14 years!!! To she didnt want to be near a window blahblah blahhh.
You will fall out/never please family and friends. My best mate who was maid of honour, she was the worse, couldnt care less and did nothing to help me, didnt even plan a hen do. I got to the point where i couldnt be bothered, tried not to care and ignored her tit. She threw a fit about how her bf hadnt proposed yet and hasnt spoken to me since as if its my fault. Everyone was moaning to me about not having a hen do but i didnt see any of them planning one so i never had one and it never bothered me except the comments.

Remember it is yours and your husbands day. Have the food you want to eat, have the music you want etc and enjoy it as it does fllllllllly by.
It is a long day, i had a nap and didnt realise plus no one even noticed i disappeared for 2 1/2 hours, not even my new husband. I went up at 7:30 when our evening guests started to arrive to change my dress with my auntie so she could help me out and let the page boy and flower girl to get changed (her kids, my cousins). Had a lil chat with her in my robe and she freshened up and went back to the party and next thing you know i woke up at 10pm so confused as i must of passed out😂😂 So trust me know one notices anything. So if something goes wrong or missing, it will only be you that notices.
Also save your wedding cake as you will be too busy to actually enjoy it. My venue saved me loads and boxed it up and i took it with me to my honeymoon

With Honeymoons, pick where you really want to go and so what if its not a “honeymoon” destination or youve been before.
We really wanted to do 2 weeks in UAE, 1 week in Dubai (been loads) then try 1 week in Abu Dubai. But everyone talked us out of it and we ended up going to Mauritius then 3 days in Dubai. I hated Mauritius, it wasnt like you see in the holiday brochures. Sea wasnt clear blue, no white sands. Our hotel was on a tiny beach which had a river stream into it so sand was covered in sticks and rocks, couldnt walk barefoot and the sea was murky brown. The hotel had nothing around it, we were told by the rep we shouldnt leave the hotel unless we were on a organised tour as white tourist were mostly robbed. Our hotel offered no excursions except a rip off boat trip which took your two miles out in the same murky waters. Constantly peatered whilst sunbathing by locals trying to sell you stuff which made you feel unsafe and hotel food was so shite. I remember crying on the first day and couldnt wait to leave. I thought it could of just been our hotel but we spoke to a couple we sat next to on our flight back who also said they hated it and they were on another part of the island
We even had a “honeymoon” package which consisted of nothing except 2 flowers on the bed, no recognition at the reception desk and was suppose to have a moonlit dinner which was in the normal buffet restaurant but with a candle on your table. Yet when we went to Dubai, they congratulated us, upgrades room, had this big sweet platter and card in the room along with the whole bed, floor and bath with rose petals. So dont get you hopes up with “honeymoon” resorts and being treated amazingly as your just another number to them, another couple through their doors and they dont care
 
I certainly agree with going to somewhere where you both really want to visit for your honeymoon. My first wedding, we went on the advice to stay in a UK hotel for the night and book last minute with our suitcases pre packed - Anxiety HELL and nearly faced the thought of going back home for a week to twiddle our thumbs - not good! We also went for a run of the mill all inclusive cheap Turkish resort holiday. It wasn't somewhere I was particularly interested in going to and I can't say I particularly enjoyed it. It was loud, brash, had a party atmosphere, wasn't relaxing in the slightest and had alot of inappropriate comments from local men. I would recommend going to somewhere with some sort of oomph factor, the day after your wedding day is a complete anti climax. It certainly needs good escapism afterward.

My first dress, by chance I got the exact style I wanted for sale for only £300, I was passing a small village and saw it in a shop window. It was originally worth over £1200. However, I wouldn't of chosen the particular dresses given the choice today, my first was a traditional strapless princess dress but it was very, very blingy. My second was a satin fishtail gown. Both are quite hideous to look back on, both dresses in their time were quite trendy, so the pictures have dated quick and will be next generations mullets. One of my relatives had a Boho style wedding 25 years ago and the photographs look like they could have been taken yesterday. Beach wedding photos tend to age well too. Bare your dress sense/theme in mind. Is it trendy or classic? Will it age well in photos?
 
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My daughter became engaged at Xmas and I've promised to help with costs, so I've been looking at venues on line. It disgusts me that some hotels that organise weddings, include the price of bedrooms in their packages. I feel this is totally unfair to the bride and groom being expected to pay for their guests to stay overnight! Or is it me?
 
Most of the time bedrooms are included so the venue is exclusive and therefore no one else can book, I think it’s for each couple to decide whether to pay or to ask their guests to pay. Ours were included and if a guest wanted to book a room then they booked “through us” and paid for their room. I don’t think venues assume that the couple will pay but it’s easier to manage that way.

Happy Lady said:
My daughter became engaged at Xmas and I've promised to help with costs, so I've been looking at venues on line. It disgusts me that some hotels that organise weddings, include the price of bedrooms in their packages. I feel this is totally unfair to the bride and groom being expected to pay for their guests to stay overnight! Or is it me?
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We got married in Vegas, it was a proper elopement, nobody but us knew we were planning it or anything about it until we got back home. Best decision for us we had the most memorable time and didn’t spend an absolute fortune doing it. We got married in a little chapel and hired a photographer to take pictures of us around Fremont Street/Downtown area afterwards. We also booked a fancy meal.

The thought of a big traditional wedding made me feel sick tbh. I’m a very anxious, introverted person and my husband is fairly introverted too in a way. We’d already been engaged for four years before we decided. It was just so laidback and perfect for us. Been married 5 years in February now, together for 10.
 
A bit late to this thread but can’t see any others around weddings.. anyone know of a pub in the Lake District that will hold a wedding party for up to 70 ish guests?
 
We did our wedding on the inexpensive! My Mum had a life limiting condition and it was more important to have her there on the day than save up for a fancy wedding she wouldn't live to see! As we are active in our local church,. We were not charged for the ceremony, or hire of the hall for refreshments after. We had about 150 in the church and 80 for the reception we wanted to celebrate with our church friends as well as our families and other friends. I spent weeks bakng and freezing cakes along with other church members and we had cake and tea, coffee and soft drinks after the service in the hall. A church friend made my wedding dress as a gift - I spent £35 on a pattern, fabric and a zip, and she made it!! A new couple had started attending our church he was not currently working as he had recently had heart surgery, and his buisness partner was awaiting surgery and they could not drive, so they had temporaraly stopped trading - they ran a wedding car buisness and due to the fact he had received such a warm welcome he gave us a use of a 1920's Rolls Royce Phantom for the cost he needed to pay a trusted driver! The local pub was under new ownership and it was the first wedding reception the had done, they wanted pictures of the set up for their website, and even took photos of the cake and posted a link to our wedding cake supplier (with her permission). They had a student who was doing event management at our local college he wanted pictures for his portfolio and did the centre pieces and place cards. I get hayfever and didn't want flowers on the table (my bouquet and church flowers were not real) he came up with the idea of tall vases of coloured water in our colours with floating candles! We had a 2 course meal for 80 for £10 per head plus cheese and biscuits for the evening! We got a good deal as they wanted pictures - the pictures were just of the set up and did not have our guests or ourselves in them. I,didn't have a wedding disco - as I find them cringy - we had 12 children at the wedding reception - so I provided a craft table to keep them busy while the adults chatted. A colleague brought her family in the evening and said her kids loved the crafts rather than a disco! We paid less than £4000 I including a free bar!

It cost more 6 months later for Mums funeral!
 
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