TTC #9 Your worth is not determined by your fertility

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leavemealone107 said:
looks like AF has showed up early for me this month. Time to drown my sorrows yet again with a glass of wine. Out of interest, how long has everyone here been TTC ?
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AF showed up for me today too. With a vengeance, it is so painful 😭

Going into my 4th month TTC. Honestly, I don’t want to sound stupid or offend anyone but I thought it would be much easier? I always watched tv shows that made out like if you had unprotected sex once, that’s it, you’re pregnant. I’m 26, my husband is 27, I naively thought “hmm I’ll probably get pregnant instantly, I’ll only buy like 5 pregnancy tests, I won’t need too many”.

Guess which clown is now buying a multipack off Amazon? Guess which clown is now religiously tracking her chart and timing sex and obsessing over BBT? Guess which clown now has health anxiety and is considering ordering a Hertility test but is scared of getting the results in case something is wrong?

Me. I am the clown 🤡
 
Scorpihoe said:
AF showed up for me today too. With a vengeance, it is so painful 😭

Going into my 4th month TTC. Honestly, I don’t want to sound stupid or offend anyone but I thought it would be much easier? I always watched tv shows that made out like if you had unprotected sex once, that’s it, you’re pregnant. I’m 26, my husband is 27, I naively thought “hmm I’ll probably get pregnant instantly, I’ll only buy like 5 pregnancy tests, I won’t need too many”.

Guess which clown is now buying a multipack off Amazon? Guess which clown is now religiously tracking her chart and timing sex and obsessing over BBT? Guess which clown now has health anxiety and is considering ordering a Hertility test but is scared of getting the results in case something is wrong?

Me. I am the clown 🤡
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I could have written this myself. I am on cycle 6 … conceived first attempt but had a CP and since then, BFN every month. I know 6 cycles isn’t long but my god I am obsessed and the two week wait is killing me. I symptom spot so much but know deep down it’s not pregnancy. I’m 33 so now slightly worried it will take a very long time.

I’ve also been tracking ovulation with clear blue digital and still BFN!! Urghh 😭
 
leavemealone107 said:
I could have written this myself. I am on cycle 6 … conceived first attempt but had a CP and since then, BFN every month. I know 6 cycles isn’t long but my god I am obsessed and the two week wait is killing me. I symptom spot so much but know deep down it’s not pregnancy. I’m 33 so now slightly worried it will take a very long time.

I’ve also been tracking ovulation with clear blue digital and still BFN!! Urghh 😭
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I symptom spot a lot. Worst thing is, before I was TTC, I never even noticed symptoms in my luteal phase. On the run up to my period I just didn’t care, or they weren’t noticable. Now that I’m TTC, it’s like I suddenly have vivid dreams, cramps, metallic taste in my mouth, acid reflux…everything but the positive pregnancy test 🥲 sick of seeing BNF’s constantly
 
leavemealone107 said:
looks like AF has showed up early for me this month. Time to drown my sorrows yet again with a glass of wine. Out of interest, how long has everyone here been TTC ?
Click to expand...

years at this point but we have known problems we’ve started the process to address 😂
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Scorpihoe said:
AF showed up for me today too. With a vengeance, it is so painful 😭

Going into my 4th month TTC. Honestly, I don’t want to sound stupid or offend anyone but I thought it would be much easier? I always watched tv shows that made out like if you had unprotected sex once, that’s it, you’re pregnant. I’m 26, my husband is 27, I naively thought “hmm I’ll probably get pregnant instantly, I’ll only buy like 5 pregnancy tests, I won’t need too many”.

Guess which clown is now buying a multipack off Amazon? Guess which clown is now religiously tracking her chart and timing sex and obsessing over BBT? Guess which clown now has health anxiety and is considering ordering a Hertility test but is scared of getting the results in case something is wrong?

Me. I am the clown 🤡
Click to expand...

I get that, it sounds mental but even with all my problems I didn’t think it would be so difficult, never mind emotionally consuming
 
Yes we’re brought up to be careful, use protection because if you have sex once you’ll get pregnant. But doesn’t always work that way does it. 🥲


We didn’t bother with protection or any sort of BC after I had my son last January. Got so many lectures off the midwives and Health visitors about BC and saying ‘these things happen..’ but here we are almost a year of not protecting later and absolutely nothing so they’re wrong. 😂 We agreed we’d take trying a bit more seriously after a year so I started ovulation tests last month in hopes we could make sure we’re timing things right. We’re both 34 now and it took just over 4 years to first get pregnant that ended in MC and then another 5 years before I got pregnant again with our son so I’m not expecting much now to be honest 😭

All tests we had prior to my MC (as well as 2 failed IVF rounds) had everything perfect on paper with no reason as to why we shouldn’t be able to get pregnant.. obviously we’ve might have our age against us a little bit now.. 😭

Yesterday I posted about silly symptom spotting and guess who woke up with heartburn that won’t flipping go away 🥴 it was the only symptom I had with my son so I’m like what if.. I only have 1 test left from when I tested with my son and don’t really want to obsess about any of it so will be waiting until I’m actually late lol.
 
vanilla cupcakes said:
we’ve been trying almost a year. I was the same, thought I’d come off of contraception and get pregnant straightaway. definitely didn’t think it would take up so much space in my head or life (or purse🤣), and honestly the thought of doing this for years really really gets to me. I find it mind blowing that people get pregnant by accident now!
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Same!! I saw someone on Reddit who asked their colleague (who has 6 kids), whether they tracked ovulation etc, and the colleague was genuinely confused what she meant by ovulation and tracking cycles etc. Blows my mind 🤣
 
vanilla cupcakes said:
we’ve been trying almost a year. I was the same, thought I’d come off of contraception and get pregnant straightaway. definitely didn’t think it would take up so much space in my head or life (or purse🤣), and honestly the thought of doing this for years really really gets to me. I find it mind blowing that people get pregnant by accident now!
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How the hell people get pregnant by accident I don’t know.. we’re actually bored of sex now 😂
 
With my first it took 8 months and we have been loosely trying since sept last year but this month actually used ovulation tests. I had a weird one where I went from a static circle to the next day a static smiley face and it was earlier than the guesstimate my period tracker had for ovulation.

I’m 40 later this year so I think I’ve convinced myself that I’m just ovulating raisins.
 
Scorpihoe said:
AF showed up for me today too. With a vengeance, it is so painful 😭

Going into my 4th month TTC. Honestly, I don’t want to sound stupid or offend anyone but I thought it would be much easier? I always watched tv shows that made out like if you had unprotected sex once, that’s it, you’re pregnant. I’m 26, my husband is 27, I naively thought “hmm I’ll probably get pregnant instantly, I’ll only buy like 5 pregnancy tests, I won’t need too many”.

Guess which clown is now buying a multipack off Amazon? Guess which clown is now religiously tracking her chart and timing sex and obsessing over BBT? Guess which clown now has health anxiety and is considering ordering a Hertility test but is scared of getting the results in case something is wrong?

Me. I am the clown 🤡
Click to expand...
I could have written this. I literally said to the Hertility nurse that I had a video call with that sex education at school basically consisted of ‘if you even THINK of having sex, you’ll get pregnant’ when my reality seems to be a million years away from that!

I liked the fact that Hertility gave me an answer/a direction to go in. And it was sooo much faster than the NHS, I’ve been waiting a month just to get an appointment letter for an ultrasound scan. The biggest wait with Hertility was that I went through a stupidly long cycle when the test came and you test on Day 3. My results were back within the timeframe they said, which I think is 10 days. I had convinced myself they were going to tell me I was a doomed, dried up, eggless old lady. That wasn’t the results I personally had. Mine pointed clearly towards an earlier suspicion of PCOS from my youth that I never pursued a diagnosis of because my endometriosis was a bigger ‘problem’ to me at the time. The results were all laid out in a really easy to understand way, with an overall summary and a pdf copy of the results that you can give to your GP for your medical records. I was offered a free 10 minute follow up with a nurse which, like I said, was really helpful. I get the feel that, even if the results aren’t good, they’re really sensitive in how they handle that and can still provide some sort of ‘help’/advice. I realise I sound like an advert, haha, I’m not. It was expensive but I’m glad I did it. I needed the peace of mind. In May I’ll have had my coil out for a year, but it’s been a really tumultuous year so I can’t really say I’ve been trying for that whole year, but given that I can’t even get an appointment for an ultrasound scan in a building so close to my house I’m basically a neighbour, I’m clearly going to need to fight this one early to be in with half a chance of getting appointments before I am eligible for my state pension…
 
So I have an appointment next week and I have been told it’s likely I have PCOS but will discuss in more detail at my appointment,
Anyone else in same boat TTC what’s the next steps and everyone’s expierances? Iv googled it and scared myself silly as per 🤣
 
Elisha97 said:
I think of the years I spent panicking and on contraception as entirely wasted and ridiculous
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Yup and for me I think of the needless morning after pills I bought in my 20s. Probably bad for health and certainly bad for my purse!!
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ThisIsMyDragName said:
I could have written this. I literally said to the Hertility nurse that I had a video call with that sex education at school basically consisted of ‘if you even THINK of having sex, you’ll get pregnant’ when my reality seems to be a million years away from that!

I liked the fact that Hertility gave me an answer/a direction to go in. And it was sooo much faster than the NHS, I’ve been waiting a month just to get an appointment letter for an ultrasound scan. The biggest wait with Hertility was that I went through a stupidly long cycle when the test came and you test on Day 3. My results were back within the timeframe they said, which I think is 10 days. I had convinced myself they were going to tell me I was a doomed, dried up, eggless old lady. That wasn’t the results I personally had. Mine pointed clearly towards an earlier suspicion of PCOS from my youth that I never pursued a diagnosis of because my endometriosis was a bigger ‘problem’ to me at the time. The results were all laid out in a really easy to understand way, with an overall summary and a pdf copy of the results that you can give to your GP for your medical records. I was offered a free 10 minute follow up with a nurse which, like I said, was really helpful. I get the feel that, even if the results aren’t good, they’re really sensitive in how they handle that and can still provide some sort of ‘help’/advice. I realise I sound like an advert, haha, I’m not. It was expensive but I’m glad I did it. I needed the peace of mind. In May I’ll have had my coil out for a year, but it’s been a really tumultuous year so I can’t really say I’ve been trying for that whole year, but given that I can’t even get an appointment for an ultrasound scan in a building so close to my house I’m basically a neighbour, I’m clearly going to need to fight this one early to be in with half a chance of getting appointments before I am eligible for my state pension…
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Oh that’s good to know as I was considering hertility as I do want to get checked, particularly because I tend to have brown spotting every month for a week before my period is due and I’m worried this is causing fertility issues
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Winterness said:
So I have an appointment next week and I have been told it’s likely I have PCOS but will discuss in more detail at my appointment,
Anyone else in same boat TTC what’s the next steps and everyone’s expierances? Iv googled it and scared myself silly as per 🤣
Click to expand...
My sister has PCOS and has three sons so don’t worry! Her third took her longer to conceive (1.5 years) but she got there! So if you do have PCOS don’t lose hope ❤️❤️
 
I’ve woke up with cramps and my period isn’t even due for another 4 days yet 🥲
I think it’s probably a bad sign. I’m sure it’s happened like this on other cycles where I’ve had cramps for nearly a week and my period then shows up right on time.

it’s all so frustrating 😭 we always wanted 2 or 3 kids, so incredibly lucky to have 1, but it sucks how we could never plan things and space things out over years. Literally always just been waiting around and running out of time 😭
 
leavemealone107 said:
Oh that’s good to know as I was considering hertility as I do want to get checked, particularly because I tend to have brown spotting every month for a week before my period is due and I’m worried this is causing fertility issues
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Not dissing Hertility but go to the GP, you have a perfectly valid reason. You might think it’s quicker to do Hertility but you’ll still need to go to the NHS and be tested if it shows anything and/or if you want treatment or further investigations.
Or at least ask the GP for a full bloods at the same time. They’ll need it for their records to do anything and so that it’s on file should you need to take anything forward in the future.
 
Keera said:
I’ve finished bleeding from my MC, still having negative OPKs this weekend but honestly I’m finding it so FREEING knowing I’m definitely not pregnant and also cannot get pregnant right now. Nothing to think about no sex to time no symptom spotting. It’s very nice to be relaxed 🥲
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I found the not knowing what was going on with my body the hardest because everyone’s experience is so varied and you’ve no idea truly what to expect by when
 
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