TTC #3

[Honeybeetea]

It’s so frustrating isn’t it when you DTD at what you think are the right times & it still doesn’t work.

I’ve a question regarding your partners, how are they finding the process? Mine told me today he’s finding it stressful which is leading to DTD issues. Now I literally tell him as little as possible re testing cus I know it’s stresses him but he’s not stupid. I’d never jump on this much otherwise I guess I just wondering if anyone else is the same and any way to relax about it.

At the beginning of the process my partner had no idea on ovulation and timing etc so I literally had to tell him when I was ovulating each month - however about 2 months in he told me he found it a bit regimental and it stressed him out. We don’t really discuss timings anymore and I think that’s kind of helped chill me out. He also feels less pressured because it’s not consuming our whole lives as much as we don’t feel like we’re planning our lives around DTD.

I’ve also realised that I cannot wait to surprise him with a positive one day

sadly it’s not our month - I’ve had so many symptoms I don’t usually have with AF and I really thought this was it but i don’t think it’s to be can’t wait til AF shows and I can have a Prosecco xx

 

[Louk]

It’s so frustrating isn’t it when you DTD at what you think are the right times & it still doesn’t work.

I’ve a question regarding your partners, how are they finding the process? Mine told me today he’s finding it stressful which is leading to DTD issues. Now I literally tell him as little as possible re testing cus I know it’s stresses him but he’s not stupid. I’d never jump on this much otherwise I guess I just wondering if anyone else is the same and any way to relax about it.

Yup, my hubby has freaked out. The first time we had unprotected sex he actually went "oh shit, what have I done???" but it's so hard when you have to and neither of you wants to do it, then you get in a massive fight over who goes on top then you still have to do it but now you're both knackered and furious

 

[cecedoon]

Yup, my hubby has freaked out. The first time we had unprotected sex he actually went "oh shit, what have I done???" but it's so hard when you have to and neither of you wants to do it, then you get in a massive fight over who goes on top then you still have to do it but now you're both knackered and furious

thank god it’s not just us !!

 

[Spencerskates]

Yup, my hubby has freaked out. The first time we had unprotected sex he actually went "oh shit, what have I done???" but it's so hard when you have to and neither of you wants to do it, then you get in a massive fight over who goes on top then you still have to do it but now you're both knackered and furious

thank god it’s not just us !!

same here! I try not to explicitly tell him it’s my fertile time because it puts pressure on, but sometimes sex drives/work schedules don’t match up.

 

[cecedoon]

same here! I try not to explicitly tell him it’s my fertile time because it puts pressure on, but sometimes sex drives/work schedules don’t match up.

Yes that’s the issue. He does shift work plus we have a 2 year old who is going through a needy phase & we haven’t slept in the same bed overnight in 3 weeks. So sex is very much planned & is minus crack for either of us if I’m honest. Haven’t broke the news to him yet that we need to do it tomorrow too & maybe Tuesday for good luck

 

[Sallycinnamon_]

It’s so frustrating isn’t it when you DTD at what you think are the right times & it still doesn’t work.

I’ve a question regarding your partners, how are they finding the process? Mine told me today he’s finding it stressful which is leading to DTD issues. Now I literally tell him as little as possible re testing cus I know it’s stresses him but he’s not stupid. I’d never jump on this much otherwise I guess I just wondering if anyone else is the same and any way to relax about it.

Quite similar. He didn’t want to know when my fertile period was from the beginning so I never told him but I think he can guess. He also feels I’ve been stressing too much over it and thinks that could be contributing to not getting pregnant as yet, so can’t help but feel I’ve been stressing him out a bit too.
He also feels I contacted my GP too soon to start investigating but I think he’s just nervous, which I understand. I approached them at a year of trying which is reasonable, but by the time we’ve actually got a sperm analysis booked it’ll be 14 months.
It’s funny how we can have different views you know? I want to know as soon as possible if there’s a problem with either of us but he’s happy waiting it out a bit longer and relaxing more.

 

[Louk]

Quite similar. He didn’t want to know when my fertile period was from the beginning so I never told him but I think he can guess. He also feels I’ve been stressing too much over it and thinks that could be contributing to not getting pregnant as yet, so can’t help but feel I’ve been stressing him out a bit too.
He also feels I contacted my GP too soon to start investigating but I think he’s just nervous, which I understand. I approached them at a year of trying which is reasonable, but by the time we’ve actually got a sperm analysis booked it’ll be 14 months.
It’s funny how we can have different views you know? I want to know as soon as possible if there’s a problem with either of us but he’s happy waiting it out a bit longer and relaxing more.

I definitely think you've waited the right amount of time, he probably doesn't want a hot date with a cup

 

[Clojo92]

I’m good thank you @fishsticks - mostly just tired. I’ve got some worries which I’ve popped in a spoiler box as they are around test progression and I don’t want to trigger anyone who may have had the same. I’m keeping my fingers tightly crossed that I’m worrying for no reason and everything will be fine

Spoiler: Test progression ramble

I am still having some big worries around test progression which I’m hoping will go away. I keep telling myself I’m still only 15dpo so the fact I’m not getting dye stealers yet doesn’t mean something is wrong. Internet cheapies we’re getting darker each day but today’s test looks slightly lighter than yesterday’s.

Also on Monday I tested positive on CB weeks indicator and it said 1-2 weeks, redid it yesterday morning and it still says 1-2 which obviously put panic into me. Though that day would literally be the day of 2 weeks so maybe I shouldn’t expect it to say 2-3 yet? IDK but if the same happens to any of you ladies I would advise you not to google it

Been spending some time away from this site/thread but a huge congratulations to you on your pregnancy!

 

[JLXRD]

Been spending some time away from this site/thread but a huge congratulations to you on your pregnancy!

Thank you

 

[noseynopinions]

It’s so frustrating isn’t it when you DTD at what you think are the right times & it still doesn’t work.

I’ve a question regarding your partners, how are they finding the process? Mine told me today he’s finding it stressful which is leading to DTD issues. Now I literally tell him as little as possible re testing cus I know it’s stresses him but he’s not stupid. I’d never jump on this much otherwise I guess I just wondering if anyone else is the same and any way to relax about it.

Mine is a lot more laid back than me obviously, but when I took a test today and it was negative he was clearly upset... He seems optimistic trying again but i can tell it's upsetting him every time we get a BFN!

 

[Sallycinnamon_]

I definitely think you've waited the right amount of time, he probably doesn't want a hot date with a cup

Understandable . But unfortunately needs must I had a hot date with Wanda

 

[Marymoo13]

Understandable . But unfortunately needs must I had a hot date with Wanda

I had a hot date with Wanda too! nurse has the cheek to take my blood pressure straight afterwards and ask me if I was anxious as it was a little high as if I hadn’t just been spread eagle on a table face height with her 30 seconds before hand

 

[Sunshinegal]

Love some of these comments.

I actually HATE the fertile week now
I think I even dread it a little.
The pressure, being knackered and just the fact you HAVE to. Then the fact you do all of it knowing it probably won't even happen!

Someone was like oh I'd love that, sex all the time.
Yeah you try having to do it all week even when you don't wanna for 20 cycles and it never even happening not what it seems after that long!

 

[JLXRD]

Love some of these comments.

I actually HATE the fertile week now
I think I even dread it a little.
The pressure, being knackered and just the fact you HAVE to. Then the fact you do all of it knowing it probably won't even happen!

Someone was like oh I'd love that, sex all the time.
Yeah you try having to do it all week even when you don't wanna for 20 cycles and it never even happening not what it seems after that long!

My husband I went into our TTC journey like ‘we won’t track anything, we will just have sex every day’

I look back at that now and find it hilarious. We quit after 11 days and did SMEP. Not sure how I was quite that naive having sex because you have to is very different to because you want to!

 

[Sunshinegal]

My husband I went into our TTC journey like ‘we won’t track anything, we will just have sex every day’

I look back at that now and find it hilarious. We quit after 11 days and did SMEP. Not sure how I was quite that naive having sex because you have to is very different to because you want to!

I was the exact same.
Thought, brill, sex whenever, will just do it and not track.

The fact of having to is very different and I actually think is off putting.
Especially when it's been so long.

I wish I found it exciting still

 

[noseynopinions]

Talking to a friend who is currently pregnant about how I got a negative result today and that I'm sad about it and the response i get is "I'm so lucky I caught mine early so I don't have to go through more cycles"...

How insensitive?

 

[miamae]

Talking to a friend who is currently pregnant about how I got a negative result today and that I'm sad about it and the response i get is "I'm so lucky I caught mine early so I don't have to go through more cycles"...

How insensitive?

Some people are just arseholes! Sorry you had to go through that. My ex best friend (ex for this very reason) a few days after my miscarriage, rather than asking me how I was etc, messaged me asking if I had any remedies for morning sickness! Some people just don’t think.

 

[JLXRD]

Talking to a friend who is currently pregnant about how I got a negative result today and that I'm sad about it and the response i get is "I'm so lucky I caught mine early so I don't have to go through more cycles"...

How insensitive?

People just don’t word things right I hope she meant she feels grateful because she understands what you are going through must be so hard.

I started to really resent people essentially bragging about getting pregnant - ‘we got pregnant first time every time, my husband just has to look at me and I’m pregnant’

like good for you.

I think not conceiving right away definitely helps you be more aware and careful with your words around pregnancy.

 

[miamae]

People just don’t word things right I hope she meant she feels grateful because she understand what you are going through must be so hard.

I started to really resent people essentially bragging about getting pregnant - ‘we got pregnant first time every time, my husband just has to look at me and I’m pregnant’

like good for you.

I think not conceiving right away definitely helps you be more aware and careful with your words around pregnancy.

100% agree! Or people who say “turns out we’re really good at making babies” when they get pregnant on their first try. As if to say everyone who doesn’t get caught first time isn’t

 

[noseynopinions]

People just don’t word things right I hope she meant she feels grateful because she understands what you are going through must be so hard.

I started to really resent people essentially bragging about getting pregnant - ‘we got pregnant first time every time, my husband just has to look at me and I’m pregnant’

like good for you.

I think not conceiving right away definitely helps you be more aware and careful with your words around pregnancy.

I think if that's what she meant she would have said that. No part of what she said indicated to me that she understands how I am feeling. It was more bragging in my opinion. Hope I'm wrong but