Tiffany Thinks #10

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Ok so another useless vlog full of nothing and no relevant medical information. And she is still not calling the surgery pelvic exenteration.
Also, she could have said what exactly is the surgeon's 'part' (as she said) in the operation. She says he is removing the colon and 'everything'. Why can she not be clear for once and just say what exactly he is removing? Why is she always so vague? I assume it would be the colon, the rectum, and the anus. The gyneacological surgeon will then remove the uterus, the ovaries, the cervix, the fallopian tubes, and the vagina. The urological one then potentially removes the bladder.
 
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Eddertillet said:
Matt saying "you'll be cancer free for the rest of your life"... Is he serious? Does he know anything about cancer?
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At his age he probably doesn’t to be fair to him. It’s one of those things you can’t un-know once you know it! They weren’t romantically together long when all this happened but they’d been friends for a while before they got together, I’d imagine it’s pretty tortuous to be in a new relationship and have all the pressure of this on top. It’s not like he can ever leave….not saying he wants to but their relationship had hardly any chance to just be new and fun before her diagnosis.

I think she does understand what’s happening and has chosen an approach that ‘works’ for her, a way of navigating it that keeps her safe in her own world, even if the rest of us wouldn’t understand it. Plenty of cancer patients consent to treatments every day and never Google them or ask any probing questions - largely because knowing more wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference to the outcome. The professionals are there to devise treatment plans they think are appropriate, and she’s hardly in a position to challenge them so why bother? I’m not saying doctors don’t make mistakes or discount alternatives that maybe patients would prefer to know about but her situation is such that I think she thinks ‘whatever’ at this point.
 
JellyBellyBeanie said:
All this woo woo toxic positivity crap doesn’t fly with me. No negative thoughts do not make cancer worse. 🥴
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Wow. I didn't say negative thoughts make cancer worse but if you want to jump to that conclusion then I don't have time for this conversation.
It is a fact that your mental state can effect your physically health in general, I don't know why you're assuming I meant only cancer. But whatever. We are all allowed different opinions here, let's not be obtuse.
 
Satisfying Click said:
I guess what I was trying to say is that I think for Tiffany to be talking about 5 year survival is... ambitious. Just my opinion. She has age on her side, but she doesn't care for herself nutritionally or psychologically.

I felt for Amma, she looked shell-shocked in the car whilst the two love-sick horny teenagers were joking about boxer's eating raw eggs.
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Cancer is always more aggressive the younger the patient

PattZ said:
She will need loperamide everyday to thicken her output and this will also help avoid dehydration. Tiffany will have an ileostomy rather than a colostomy and the bag will be next to her belly button, her stoma nurse will mark where Tiffany wants the bag to be placed with a pen before she goes down to theatre. I had 70% of my colon removed earlier this year. The recovery was pretty brutal and I lost 2.5 stone over the 3 weeks I was in hospital. Luckily I was a healthy weight before the op but I worry about tiff because she doesn’t look like she can afford to lose that much weight
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What’s the difference between a colostomy and an iliostomy?
 
Dacshunds said:
I read about the vaginal reconstruction, sounds just awful, will be a huge shock to her. Taking care of 2 bags plus the new vagina will be a nightmare.
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Will she have to dilate it to keep it open as it heals? In the first few days of recovery is that the job of a nurse? Is that something matt would do? I have so many questions, I wish she could help educate us.

I'm just guessing it's the same as bottom surgery
www.mtfsurgery.net

Use It or Lose It: The Importance of Dilation Following Vaginoplasty

Wondering if dilating after GRS is worth it? Dilation may not be pleasant but it's essential to follow your surgeon's dilation protocol in order to prevent loss of depth of your new vagina.
www.mtfsurgery.net www.mtfsurgery.net
 
Well. I found these little snippets confirmation of some theories, suggestions here as to level of honesty, or not….see attachments. Wow.

Go listen to this exchange. Matt’s asking, “oh are you doing that thing where you are lying to them about the time” and Tiff says, I usually lie, but today “I’m actually telling them the truth”. Didn’t that bother anyone else? It’s like proof of a major character issue and that he, she has indeed been manipulative all along?! So disappointed!
 

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Satisfying Click said:
I guess what I was trying to say is that I think for Tiffany to be talking about 5 year survival is... ambitious. Just my opinion. She has age on her side, but she doesn't care for herself nutritionally or psychologically.

I felt for Amma, she looked shell-shocked in the car whilst the two love-sick horny teenagers were joking about boxer's eating raw eggs.
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I so agree and your description of Tiff and Matt's behavior is perfect. I can't begin to describe how creepy Matt is and seems to be getting more so as he is in the videos more.
 
A 30 year-old woman really thought she could get multiple organs removed and have her genitals reconstructed without having to be told the details? What the actual duck?! What doctor, let alone a doctor working at one of the best hospitals in the world, would allow that?! Tiffany's refusal to hear anything about her diagnosis/prognosis is just plain stupid. I understand needing a little while to process when first diagnosed, but it's been over a year now and she's still plugging up her ears and shouting "LALALA" when the doctors speak. She claims she wants to live and put cancer behind her, but that will never be possible unless she is willing to learn about her illness and the best way to deal with its challenges. Her coping mechanism of 'keeping busy' won't even be possible once she's in recovery from surgery. She'll literally be stuck in bed all day with her thoughts. It's ridiculous that she hasn't gotten therapy by now. Her world of denial will come crumbling down around her when she wakes up from surgery with multiple organs missing and that permanent reminder visible for her to see on her body.

She is on a path of self-destruction and I'm truly mindblown. She's bleeping THIRTY and an optometrist and yet she's like some clueless little child. I am beyond frustrated. The only reason I still can muster up some sympathy for her is because her world is about to change in the worst way and it'll be hard for her. I just wish she would live in reality so she can fight this.
 
Avasarala said:
Will she have to dilate it to keep it open as it heals? In the first few days of recovery is that the job of a nurse? Is that something matt would do? I have so many questions, I wish she could help educate us.

I'm just guessing it's the same as bottom surgery
www.mtfsurgery.net

Use It or Lose It: The Importance of Dilation Following Vaginoplasty

Wondering if dilating after GRS is worth it? Dilation may not be pleasant but it's essential to follow your surgeon's dilation protocol in order to prevent loss of depth of your new vagina.
www.mtfsurgery.net www.mtfsurgery.net
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Tiffany will be in hospital for a long time...probably here in US would have home health coming in daily for a couple of weeks when back home but it will be important that someone is the prime care giver and that will no doubt be Amma. She will need to learn how to do all of the aftercare required as Tiffany will be very weak for months. I can't see Matt being of much help here and assume he will need to go to work.
 
Avasarala said:
Whoa!!!!! You guys are all misinterpreting that convo and taking it out of context. She's talking about telling Matt the wrong times of appointments. She usually says, it's one hour earlier than it is. Probably wants to get there with more time to spare
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Ok help me understand? Seems like she was saying her appointments are at particular time but she tells the TT fam a different time altogether. Why? Or help me get the context right? Go back and watch it’s so weird and you have to watch because the cc has errors so you need to hear it….

Avasarala said:
Whoa!!!!! You guys are all misinterpreting that convo and taking it out of context. She's talking about telling Matt the wrong times of appointments. She usually says, it's one hour earlier than it is. Probably wants to get there with more time to spare
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Are you sure? Matt asks “are you doing that thing where you lie to them about the time” and she gets this look in her face like he just gave something away….go look, for realz.
 
helpmeunderstand? said:
The comments. People are really doing her a disservice, real harm to her future mental health by saying she will absolutely be cancer free post surgery. Don’t they realize how utterly devastating it will be if she has a recurrence? This is madness.
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that group on YT are clueless and she feeds off their mindless comments. Most of them don't have a clue what she faces and the ones that do have moved over here!!

helpmeunderstand? said:
Ok help me understand? Seems like she was saying her appointments are at particular time but she tells the TT fam a different time altogether. Why? Or help me get the context right? Go back and watch it’s so weird and you have to watch because the cc has errors so you need to hear it….


Are you sure? Matt asks “are you doing that thing where you lie to them about the time” and she gets this look in her face like he just gave something away….go look, for realz.
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I think above is not correct. Many people if you are getting a ride to an appointment and the appointment is at 3:00 and you know the person going with is habitually late or just want to be sure will say 230 or whatever. That is all that is meant. That is what Tiff does.
 
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Curly Top said:
It's like she is going into this surgery with her fingers crossed.

I bet the surgeons have never come across anyone like her before. Her surgeon has got to be very worried about her.

I thought Amma did not go into the appointments with Tiffany.
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I hear you.

I actually believe the doctors come across hundreds of patients like Tiffany. The reason why I like this chat forum is because of the ‘ real talk’ on here do you know how many friends and relatives I’ve disconnected from because they don’t like my direct approach or honesty.
Do you know how many people live a lie, fake and phony people ,crabs in a bucket, narcissistic , gaslighting, liars there are in the world!?
A lot of people cannot take home truths no matter how you deliver it. You can be gentle or brutal they just can’t cope. Denial, denial, denial 😞

This forum is super refreshing because I like peoples honesty in here. I can see through bitchy remarks and see it as frustration because people are still trying to deliver positive information but being shut down, deleted or ignored in favour of toxic positivity on Tiffany’s youtube comments section.

Maybe it’s the way some of us are raised. I was raised to brush things under the carpet, but no sorry I can’t! I need to talk hash it out discuss, vent, rage 😤 whatever I can’t hold it all in for too long as it gets me really down.

As for Amma, she needs to be at every appointment as she will be the one doing all the nursing, cooking and cleaning daily and wiping tears.
I’m sure previous to Tiffany’s diagnosis, Amma had a home and a job and a life and she’s making daily sacrifices and adjustments to help her daughter every step of the way through her ‘ cancer journey’ she needs to be at every single appointment! Not sitting in the car, nope! She needs to ask the doctor questions too and hear exactly what her daughter will be facing as Amma will be probably be Tiffany’s carer for the rest of Tiffany’s life or her own life. Sorry to say but it’s true 😢

Matt will be at work and told to go away for a ‘break’ to stay with his family so he doesn’t have to see the tough stuff T will go through. Amma will be expected to stay in between helping her other daughter with her grandchildren!

I’m telling you this situation is really stressful to watch. I feel it for Tiffany , her naivety, her fears, her denial. It’s quite upsetting.💔
 
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helpmeunderstand? said:
Ok help me understand? Seems like she was saying her appointments are at particular time but she tells the TT fam a different time altogether. Why? Or help me get the context right? Go back and watch it’s so weird and you have to watch because the cc has errors so you need to hear it….


Are you sure? Matt asks “are you doing that thing where you lie to them about the time” and she gets this look in her face like he just gave something away….go look, for realz.
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I watched it right after your comment and its about Tiffany and Matt. It has nothing to with viewers, you can't rely on auto generated captions.
 
Turaj said:
that group on YT are clueless and she feeds off their mindless comments. Most of them don't have a clue what she faces and the ones that do have moved over here!!


I think above is not correct. Many people if you are getting a ride to an appointment and the appointment is at 3:00 and you now the person going with is habitually late or just want to be sure will say 230 or whatever. That is all that is meant. That is what Tiff does.
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Who is Matt referring to them? Because he is the one driving them. I’m so confused. I’m gonna go watch again.
 
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