It was quite leading, Oprah was fishing, the Ssexes played along and the whole thing was tailored for a US audience, where the Ssexes want to make their fortune and base all their work.
I am convinced they both lied throughout. Partly because they want to stand their ground and partly because this is for a US audience so you need to spin the story accordingly.
And yeah, they "married" 3 days before the wedding, except there were no witnesses and no one aside from the two of them and the archbishop, therefore it's de facto illegal and doesn't count as "wedding". She name dropped the archbishop basically...
They had "personalized" vows, I find the traditional vows perfect as they are (you know, good times and bad etc etc)