The Long Mum #2 Food or leccy, what will it be...or how about just some new nanettes for me

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I think Anna has really struggled to be with herself in Italy but felt she couldn't fully go there because the trip was paid for by her followers. She is seething as soon as she hit the UK. Until she does the work she needs to do on her mental health no holiday, no Botox, no dress or piece of China, no man is going to bring her happiness.

Happiness is possible but only when she takes responsibility for making herself accountable for some of her decisions.

It's actually really sad. She harks on about her Mum but seems to be adopting the same style. What did she think having kids was going to be like? No concessions? They are not a job, they are your children. Okay their Dad seems like a knob too but you can choose to not take that out on your children. You both made a choice to bring two children in to the world now grow up and put them first.
 
NoseyParker2202 said:
It's actually really sad. She harks on about her Mum but seems to be adopting the same style. What did she think having kids was going to be like? No concessions? They are not a job, they are your children. Okay their Dad seems like a knob too but you can choose to not take that out on your children. You both made a choice to bring two children in to the world now grow up and put them first.
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Agree she is turning out like her mum in terms of the relationship she's forging with her kids. It's so clear she doesn't want them. She's not even back from the holiday yet and dreading seeing them.
Despite the fact she doesn't work though, 7 weeks summer with no childcare is hard graft, I know I've done it. So their dad should be taking more than 1 of those 7 weeks to be honest.
 
Chattymamabear said:
Agree she is turning out like her mum in terms of the relationship she's forging with her kids. It's so clear she doesn't want them. She's not even back from the holiday yet and dreading seeing them.
Despite the fact she doesn't work though, 7 weeks summer with no childcare is hard graft, I know I've done it. So their dad should be taking more than 1 of those 7 weeks to be honest.
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Absolutely the Dad should be stepping up. I got bad vibes from him TBH.
 
She really resents her ex for working.
I agree he should take more than one week of the holidays, however I imagine he will still have them on his normal days of the week/fortnight/however they split it throughout.
My ex and I do one week each alternating over the summer holidays and it's hard for me while I'm working. I can't take every other week off work so I take the first and last and have to get childcare for the middle one. It sucks. Ex is off for the duration though so suits them down to the ground 🙄
Not everyone can be that flexible.

And Anna can gripe but she has an incredible amount of free time.
 
Bubblemamaa22 said:
She really resents her ex for working.
I agree he should take more than one week of the holidays, however I imagine he will still have them on his normal days of the week/fortnight/however they split it throughout.
My ex and I do one week each alternating over the summer holidays and it's hard for me while I'm working. I can't take every other week off work so I take the first and last and have to get childcare for the middle one. It sucks. Ex is off for the duration though so suits them down to the ground 🙄
Not everyone can be that flexible.

And Anna can gripe but she has an incredible amount of free time.
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Yep fair points, 2 weeks from him would probably be a good compromise.
But she can't shirk away from the fact she doesn't work so she will have to do the majority and still get free time to herself that most of us don't ever get.
 
NoseyParker2202 said:
I think Anna has really struggled to be with herself in Italy but felt she couldn't fully go there because the trip was paid for by her followers. She is seething as soon as she hit the UK. Until she does the work she needs to do on her mental health no holiday, no Botox, no dress or piece of China, no man is going to bring her happiness.

Happiness is possible but only when she takes responsibility for making herself accountable for some of her decisions.

It's actually really sad. She harks on about her Mum but seems to be adopting the same style. What did she think having kids was going to be like? No concessions? They are not a job, they are your children. Okay their Dad seems like a knob too but you can choose to not take that out on your children. You both made a choice to bring two children in to the world now grow up and put them first.
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Excellent post 💕
 
Nah, at the risk of taking sides I'd argue why should he have to take loads of time off when Anna doesn't work? We don't know his work situation, not everyone can take lots of time off. I certainly can't. What this boils down to, is Anna is now faced with what, 5 or 6 weeks with her eldest child at home (assume the little one will still be going to nursery??) and she's dreading it and looking for someone to fight with. I dread the summer holidays because it's a financial nightmare between paying for holiday clubs and taking time off work that I can't afford to do, if she was faced with the actual childcare conundrum most of us working adults have to deal with over the holidays she'd have a breakdown.
 
She’s been away for almost a week, so her ex will have had to have changed his working arrangements or taken time off to accommodate her holiday. She booked it quite recently as well, so he may have had to do it quite last minute. He has them at least part of the weekend every weekend. She would go NUTS if he tried to take a long weekend away! She booked herself into a hotel when his household had covid and insisted he stay at hers to look after the kids!
He’s taken one week of the summer holidays off… I know it differs from workplace to workplace but in my work its difficult taking time off in July/august. For the 6 weeks of summer holiday there isn’t enough leave for everyone to have one week off. The people that don’t have kids don’t want to be refused summer holidays year after year for the people that do but some with school age kids struggle for childcare.
Don’t forget that she spins everything to make herself the victim- so for all we know he has had to push to get this time off with his kids, and she’s presenting it like he had his pick and chosen not to take more. We don’t have his side of the story.
If she was working I would say the kids dad needs to be responsible for childcare for half the holiday. But she’s not, she only wants him to take time off because her rigorous wank and chazza schedule will be interrupted.
 
I get what you're all saying about the Dad but at the end of the day if he was a single parent (like lots of people are) he would have to make it work. Same goes for Anna. I hate this attitude that the emphasis should be on the woman, regardless of her circumstances you both enter into parenthood you both deal with it. Effective co-parenting requires at minimum communication and compromise. She obviously has mental health issues and struggles with the long haul with her kids. He may struggle to get time off of work - they need to talk and make a compromise! A few long weekends, a few dinners at Dads and Anna must compromise too and recognise her schedule has more flexibility and that during this season it might mean she has her children for five whole weeks - on the plus side she just had a week in Italy to help her relax beforehand - that should soften the blow. 😉
 
How long has she been away?
Because she said the dad has had the kids on his normal days bar 1 day extra.
So he does have the kids quite a lot then?
so it isn’t like she’s having the kids completely by herself for the whole holidays.
she will get a long weekend without them. Plus he’s having them for a week.
Like everyone else has said. She doesn’t work…

he’s the one working. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
 
I’m a single mum and work- I have only taken 1 week off for a holiday with my child. I can’t take anymore time because it’s a busy time at work, other people need holidays too and I get 4 weeks holiday a year- I can’t take every Christmas, Easter, half term, summer etc off so whilst it irks me that it kinda always falls to the women, we don’t know the circumstances- maybe all he can get is the one week. The guy might work full time so why doesn’t he deserve a week off with his kids and a week off on his own? Anna needs a holiday on her own so why doesn’t he? I’d love a week off on my own but a week off with my daughter, a week on my own then leaves me 2 weeks for the rest of the year. It really annoyed me when she said about him only taking one week, trust me I’d love a few weeks off with my daughter but I work so it’s not possible. She doesn’t want to work but she also doesn’t want to look after her kids- I don’t get it? Why have them if you don’t actually like them? I’m in a VERY good job, good pay but all my money goes on after school care etc - I often wonder would I be better taking a less well paid job in order to spend time with my child- I don’t know what the answer is, maybe I’d hate it? I would love the time that Anna has to do all the lovely things she gets to do. She’s stressed about life and bills, I’m stressed about life and bills too AND work!
 
Coffeefirst19 said:
How long has she been away?
Because she said the dad has had the kids on his normal days bar 1 day extra.
So he does have the kids quite a lot then?
so it isn’t like she’s having the kids completely by herself for the whole holidays.
she will get a long weekend without them. Plus he’s having them for a week.
Like everyone else has said. She doesn’t work…

he’s the one working. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
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That's a good point. So he has them 3 or 4 days a week including every weekend? She keeps that quiet doesn't she 🙃
 
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