Ingham vlog 23/7/2017
We Did Something amazing In London
Hooktube link below so you won’t!
https://www.hooktube.com/watch?v=2HX7_ZSoH-g
Its short at just under 12 minutes
Starts with brief aerial shot of the dawn skyline
Cuts alarmingly to Chris face telling us Brief recap of thedate and they are all up SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUPER Early it’s justbefore 9am
Chris thought fully tells Isabelle that she lookinconspicuos with her sunglasses on and hood up . Perhaps instead of poking funChris you could practice like her just in case you know etc
Issy replies it’s the fashion
Chris tells us they didn’t have time to do Esme’s hair sothey are doing it on the train Maybe they spent too much time debating how toshare the remaining 2 weetabix out amongst all five of them
Esme wants to run down the ramp but can’t quite make it.Chris informs us they are going to London to do something PRITTY COOOOOOOOOOOOLand he will tell us more about that in a while
Train number 333 012 rolls up to the station and they boardit at this point 2 things
Sarah is nowhere to be seen and the beanie is off again(what blessings the Lord give he takes etc)
They sit down and there are brief clips of the kids smilingetc they all seem genuinely happy. Then its an edit to the proper train up toLondon and Chris is full frontal (well facial full frontal that’s bad enough )and he tells us that sometime son trains things just work out pretty good
They had grouped two trains together and people were in eachothers seats but as a result they were upgraded to 1st class.
I strongly suspect that perfectionist Chris and ScreechingSarah gave the staff so much grief that the staff just though we will put themin 1st class to get rid of the twats
Issy remarks that the seats are so much more comfortable. Iworry about the ifam I really do they don’t seem to grasp some of the basicideas of consumerism yesterday they thought they won something by putting a £1in a vending machine today it’s the differences between 1st and standard class
I see that Chris manages to get a complete stranger in shotif that had been my daughter and you hadn’t stopped filming you wouldn’t havebeen boasting that “long story short you get to kick back and enjoy some comfyseats and have some tea and coffee on the way down to London”
You would have been recovering from a couple of hard knocksand short hard kicks to your testicles but that’s just me.
I really don’t get why these are not challenged more by JoePublic
We are only 2minutes 19 in and I’m pissed off with the gitThe usual montage of travel shots follows with through the window shots andtravellators.
Shots of where they are going is shown with Chris is rabittingon about it being on a roof they have a walk round and Chris is impressed withcars with gardens in them and crazy golf facilities etc
Everything looks so C….OOOOOOOO… LL etc it gets tedioushearing him
I should add that whilst Sarah isn’t in early footage she isthere her voice is heard on the train journey briefly and then …. On therooftop we get to see Queen Gimme in all her glory I have thoughtfully encloseda screengrab of her
Chris proceeds to go overboard describing the kids lovinglife and rocking it in their pink bow whatever it really is quite sickening tohear him. His voice is so fakey fakey its like a demented game show hostdescribing some shite prizes available
Everything is nice super cute or cool its unreal The kidsget some flowery throwover hawain type things to wear
Hopefully issy remembers to save hers to give to mummy towear at a later date .Preferably when she is in those illuminated shoes andcoco clown jump suit
Chris wll be a sport and have one two
I would point out that Sarah looks enormous admittedly Iwatch this on the rear room Tv to try and keep up but hubby caught it andmentioned that it looked like she had stuffed 2 melons in her bra
Then the kids get to wear outsize comedy glasses and posewith a character from the film which is cute enough and mercilessly short ofChris annoying voiceover
Esme has found the free ice cream and the kids have foundthe monster cup cakes etc
Chicken burgers fish and chips
you can choose how Chris describes it all from the following
Niiiiice
REEEEEALLLLY GOOOOOD
SOUPER cool
HHHHM HMMMM (that is so creepy its genuinely disturbing)
In fact its all of them
Then the kids are having their faces painted etc
Isla looks so PRITTTTY AND WOW etc if the VERBAL TURDSMITHcould just film and keep quiet it would actually be so much better. He soundsso over the top so damn creepy campy it’s just totally ludicrous
What is interesting is that whilst Chris manages to capturelots of people in shot no one else seems to be filming I haven’t studiouslylooked but it just struck me
Cut to one of the kids having another ice cream etc
Thankfully the fuckers didn’t film during the movie no doubtfor copyright reasons
Its approaching the 8 minute marker
They all have some super goody bags Sarah tell us but atleast in a genuine calm voice not like the over the top inane commentary comingfrom fruitloop.
Then Sarah tells us that the last time they filmed herethere was big funfair etc and seeing as how they have just left a greatscreening of blah blah blah they think they can take the kids to see it andhave some fun
A genuine LOL moment occurs when they pan to show its nolonger there.
Obviously its staged as is everything in Ingham Land but itdid tickle me. Sarah says it was an epic fail but Chris always the more OTTdescribes it as a bad boy fail
As the big slide is closing too (Sarah obviously some onesdog as she does her best sad beagle look here)
it’s a trip back to the shops and to get something to eat.The kids say and look like they are really tired
Then a cut to Chris telling us they just got back to KINGSCROSS (Sarah maybe we need to chat love) They went to Westfield which wasReally souper nice
The tube was packed err yes Chris it’s London at the heightof the holiday season and they are about to jump on a train and they have 2trains to catch and they are going to kick back and enjoy the ride
You almost feel like the pratt is moaning at this point.It’s such a PRITTY evening in London they really don’t want to go home tonightand he would much rather book a room and enjoy the evening but the girls havegot school on Monday and Tuesday etc. Must be so annoying and disruptive havingyou kids go to school eh sunshine
Its a3 hour journey back home which features evening shotsof the skyline as they travel back. For some reason Chris likes to capturefootage of wind farms as he is so full of hot air himself maybe he feels anattachment to them
Then shock horror Sarahs footage got corrupted and they haveto end the blog there. IO would like to think she just fibbed and coudnt bearsed
Developments
Chris is massively to the fore and the difference betweenwhen he is and when he is reigned in is significant
Sarah hardly puts in an appearance
If I hadn’t heard her voice in the train I would genuinelythink she had travelled up separately (or had a “flat” in Kings Cross)
The kids seem to enjoy it but they look so very tired at theend it must affect their attention levels at school
I believed they lied and sough the upgrade to 1st class
Prinny isn’t featured or mentioned
It all seems a complete waste of time travel all that way tosee just another film
Sarahs boobs are getting huge (hubby insisted I pop that in)
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