SHOWING THE LITTLE ONES THEIR NEW BEDROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME! (SO CUTE REACTION!)
The Inghams are at the new temporary house. Jace is gripping onto his iPad, which has grubby fingerprints all over it, for dear life. There are cleaners coming over tomorrow.
Lazy waddles through the kitchen and asks the kids what’s going on. Esmé is filming Jace and Mila for TikTok. Time to go and see the bedroom.
Jace “what the flip”. Mila copies. They climb onto their beds. The headboard of Jace’s looks a little scratched. They’re getting lamps, artwork and toy storage. Lazy tells Creepstopher he’s not part of the family as he’s wearing socks with flip flops. Crazy how that grants being disowned but grooming children doesn’t. Lazy wants to get rid of the bedside cabinets and get a tall storage unit instead but Jace likes them so they’re staying in the room.
Esmé and Isla will do their own reveal of their bedroom when everything is set up. In the background we supposedly hear them enter the room for the first time. Esmè keeps screeching "it’s so nammy" like a parrot that’s inhaled a load of weed. The lack of vocabulary makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry. Koko the gorilla was more educated than she’ll ever be. Isabelle, who will also film her own room reveal, has a sofa bed, desk and shelves. Esmé and Isla's big single beds take up a lot of space in the room so a bedside table has to be moved. The girls' balcony is covered in bird tit so the professional cleaners will clean it tomorrow. They need to find a way to get rid of the birds.
Lazy loves how all the rooms have en-suites. There is no shared house bathroom. Lazy is glad she chose a mirror for her room. She loves her humungous balcony. Creepstopher says they’ll get a gazebo and sofa to put on there to chill at night time. It won’t be this hot in November, December, January, February and March. As if Lazy Delulu thinks they'll still be living in Dubai then.
The decorating has commenced to Lazy’s surprise. Moaning about sweating. She wishes she hadn’t put mascara on. Esmé doesn’t wear mascara in summer. Aurora has been dumped in a wardrobe with a lipstick and handbag to play with.
Aurora is now sat on the dinning table. Screaming upstairs. It sounds like Jace is scaring Mila. Camera cuts.
It’s quieter. Lazy feeds Aurora blueberries. She’s found a beautiful mirror art thing. IKEA boxes. Creepstopher has dumped his broken tape measure in one. Lazy can’t remember what she ordered. She ordered the wrong chopping boards. Sheets, frying pans, wine glasses “in case people come around”.
Creepstopher has Aurora. Off camera she’s been saying “dada”. Cups and handle-less teacups. One of Lazy’s friends in England laughed at her for having no egg cups at Rosabelle Manor so she's bought some.
Lazy didn’t realise some tiny glasses were shot glasses. They like boiled eggs. Isabelle wanted pink and purple glasses and Lazy wanted clear. They unpack the clear ones. Jace and Mila can have the shot glasses as Lazy is “sure they’ll love playing with those”. That well known brilliant combination of unsupervised small chuldren and glass. What could possibly go wrong?
The Inghams are at the pool. Lazy has taken her mascara off. Peppa Pig impression. Lazy loves Peppa Pig. It’s perfect for the age range where her education stopped. Isabelle is reading. Aurora is hot but being held by Big Saz the radiator. The pool is fantastic for socialising at the weekend but not for filming. Lazy can’t decide what colour Aurora’s hair is. She has strips of yellow and white. Lazy is attracting a wasp.
Aurora update. She’s 7 1/2 months and trying to crawl. She’s going from sitting to all fours and back, moving forward, can pull herself up to things on her own and can sit up unaided. Her favourite foods are weetabix, pasta and ice cream. She loves Jace and Mila and knows they’re small. Jace picks her up and chases her but doesn’t chase her because he’s not allowed to walk around with her. Sometimes he puts her in front of a Mila and roars. She can say “Mama”, "Dada" and "Nannar". She’s still exclusively breastfed. She’s never had a bottle except when she was two weeks old. Lazy is unable to express milk. Aurora wakes 3-10 times a night. She’s a very good, happy, placid baby. She loves the pool, bath time and the Dubai heat doesn’t bother her generally. She knows who her family are but isn’t afraid of other people. Everyone in Dubai says hello to the babies. She can copy when someone claps and puts toys back into a box. She doesn’t have a blanket or toy she’s attached to. She’s taking her dummy more recently and Lazy thinks it’s a comfort. She has no teeth yet but may be getting the white line where teeth starts to move. She’s a Mama’s girl because they breastfeed. She’s not feeding more than she would “at home”.
Pool. Home to the Air BnB. Lazy has never had curly hair but it looks curly now. She and Isla are off to Carrefour for avocado and steak and eggs for Creepstopher.
£40 shop in Dubai; lettuce box, 3 avocados, 4 steaks, apple juice, coke, 12 muffins, fruit bread, wraps, mini wraps, sour cream and marinated lemon pepper chicken. Lazy thinks it’s expensive but Creepstopher doesn’t. They got a really nice takeaway the other night for £20. The muffins were £3. Creepstopher is having steak, avocado and eggs. Lazy and the kids are having chicken in a wrap with salad, cheese because cheese is life, avocado and "soured" cream.
Dinner is done. They’re now all sat down. Esmé is going through her birthday list with Lazy as her birthday is in 19 days. For her main present she wants a Lul Lemon jacket for the malls. She’s worn her Hollister jacket twice in 3 weeks. As a second main present she wants a blanket with King Francis from Reign’s face on it. Esmé wonders why they didn’t make the main character more good looking so Lazy calls her fickle. On the first episode of Reign, Lazy clocked Esmé’s crush. By episode 2 asked for a blanket with his face on it. Esmé also wants socks with Francis on them but she’ll never have to wash them because they’re black. The cherry on the cake is Esmé wants a phone case of Francis snogging Lady Lola (?) (I dunno, I don’t watch the same crap as the Inghams) with the hair edited ginger so she can imagine it’s her. More cackling. Fun fact: Lady Lola had a son with King Francis (who had lots of affairs himself) out of wedlock, just like Creepstopher did with that woman/en he cheated on Lazy with. Creepstopher will be soooper doooper famous one day with his very own episode of Long Lost Family when his offspring go looking for him. I hope their expectations aren’t a very very lot high. Esmememememe sends Lazy the links. Babe, Aurora is about to stand up on her own.
End of vlog