OUR 2 YEAR PLAN..
Here we go; time for the long awaited life change. Van trip, holiday, van trip, birthday, surprise, (final) baby, try to sue the NHS, repeat.
Lazy screeches at Aurora and tells her to relax her head. She’s trying to sit up. She yanks a dummy out of Mila’s mouth and says she doesn’t need it as she’s 2 1/2 years old. Jace is 5 and still has one. Aurora was up every hour last night. Lazy tells Mila not to get right in her face. But it’s ok for her to get in everyone’s face and breathe her fishy mouldy cheese breath smell down their throat?
The Inghams are off to the supermarket as they have a new juicer. Last night they made celery juice. Mila likes orange and blackcurrant juice. Jace likes strawberries and grape. Lazy is gutted because the hairdresser accidentally caught her helix earring and its gone. Creepstopher wants to go into town and promises lunch. He says the hole will close up in four days. It’s been in for four years. When Easter is done Lazy will need stuff for Isla’s birthday, then summer, then Esme’s birthday, then the other childrens’ birthdays and it will start again next year. She loves having someone to buy for.
The Inghams are at the shops because Creepstopher thinks they’ll all be closed for Easter weekend. Are we in 1864? The shops are always open over the Easter weekend, it's one day of closure at most. He accidentally leans on the horn. He had to sit in the car with Aurora as she fell asleep. Lazy shopped alone. He wanted to prove they’re at the shops. He suggested sausage rolls from Cooplands. Lazy said no so he went anyway. Back in the car he announced he’d got himself a sausage roll and threw a brownie at her. It was disgooosting. Her nails are horrendous and peeling, looking grey. They’re breaking in the corners. Creepstopher suggests leek juice. She says it’s celery juice. She’s bought Aldi’s entire celery stock. Creepstopher broke his rule of not eating in the car. Lazy needs to go home and make the kids’ Easter baskets.
Lazy has realised she has an addiction to spending. Better than your husband’s sex, coke and alcohol addictions. He’d fit in well on Corrie. She wanted to get a rompers for Mila to match Aurora. Girls look gorgeous in blue. Sooooooo cuuuuuuuute rompers. Lazy had to order Mila’s size as they didn’t have it in store. Lazy loves the start of summer. It’s so hot outside today. Jace wants to go to America soon. Lazy says they need to go. Mila wants to go to America too. Esmé says they need to go to Disneyworld. Aurora is a very quiet baby.
Lazy and the girls have sat down for a family chat about their two year plan. She won’t include the footage but Esmé wants to look back on. They never film serious chats. It will be fun to look back at their plans coming into action. It’s secret. Isabelle asked to do it. Every day for six weeks before Disneyland they’d chat about their plans. Lazy used to walk the girls to school and it would be the same plan.
Jace has the best idea for Easter. They’re going to wake up, crack all the Easter eggs, put them in the microwave for just one minute, put chocolate spread on them and then put breakfast and porridge inside. The girls always had cereal in an Easter egg with milk on Easter Sunday.
Beautiful view of pylons from Aurora’s wardrobe bedroom. Breathless Lazy feels sweaty. Someone must’ve turned the heating on. She’s come upstairs to make Easter gifts for the chuldren. She’s had years where she could barely afford an egg each for the girls and other years where she spoilt them rotten. The years she went over the top were not better. It’s what you make of it not what you give. Does she ever listen to herself? Some years they're travelling so no Easter bunny. It’s over the top this year but she’s not like this every year.
Pile of tat including White Fox and Disney Store bags. Compulsory can of coke. Easter basket creation time lapse. Creepstopher comes in so the time lapse stops. Lazy tries to keep his attention away from the floor. Aurora is whimpering. Lazy went mad this Easter.
Dinner time. Lazy is excited. She’s making creamy sweet chilli wraps with paprika potatoes, cheese and side salad. Lazy thinks the chicken smells funny. Creepstopher thinks it’s just her. Esmé thinks it smells of cheese. Creepstopher sniffs and gags. Esmé can’t smell anything. Lazy isn’t going to use it as she bought it three days ago. She bought new chicken today. She’s cooking a meal on Monday and thinks all the shops are closed. If they’re open on Monday, Creepstopher can go out and get more. Lazy, who has food on her face, wonders whether Prinny can eat raw chicken.
Seasoning chicken. Potato, onion and pepper chopping. Cheese grating. The grill is the best thing Lazy has ever bought. There’s no way it would all fit in one pan. Big helping of sweet chilli sauce is added to the veg. Couple of tablespoons of cream cheese and mix. Jace is wolfing down the cheese. Ham hock handful of cheese is added to the veg along with all the cooked chicken. Mix again. How not to cook with Lazy. Add veg to tortilla wraps. Pop into air fryer for 8 minutes. The wraps are small so there’s a massive amount.
Half burnt cheesy potatoes. The girls rate dinner a million out of ten. They reversed their true answers. Mila like the “taytoes” best.
End of vlog
Anyone seen the professional chefs react videos on Facebook of people absolutely but unintentionally butchering dishes. Well I'm not pro but watched the whole thing thinking 'are you serious' and 'oh god no, not the cheese'. Ever dish is the same ingredients. Chicken, peppers, onions, paprika, chicken seasoning, garlic, potatoes. And a ton of cheese
the neck rolls
