JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOUR KIDS CANT SHOCK YOU..
Lazy says good morning to the ifam. Creepstopher impersonates her because he's an immature child with nothing better to do.
I'd love to see her give him a good old Seacroft right hook one day and send his dentures flying through the bifold doors. Maybe that will be the grand finale later this year. They’re having a cosy home day. Lazy got dressed for us. She doesn’t wear pyjamas in bed, just around the house.
What a terrible image I have in my head now. It’s midday. Creepstopher has been on a zoom call and is now doing emails.
Lazy struggles to look at the camera as she says she’s been doing a home-school roundup of the week with the girls. She tells the kids what she expects from them throughout the week and they have a midweek catch up about how they’re getting on. She wonders whether teachers mark books everyday. The kids will ask her if they need help. Time to get Christmas out of the house. It doesn’t feel like Christmas anymore.
Lazy is in the playroom for a deep clean. She’s going through each toy box.
They should show this vlog to insomniacs; instant cure! She shows us what’s in each box but I’m skipping this
tit. Fly. Lazy hates flies. They literally live surrounded by fields and farms.
Lazy told Mila no to a snack. Esmé opened the bag of biscuits for her. Moan moan moan. Lazy confiscates them.
Isla plays in the living room with Jace and Mila. Jace now thinks r’s are l’s. He says “leally” instead of “really”. Isla loves playing with the toddler toys. They got Jace mega blocks when he was one but got rid of them when they moved.
Creepstopher has a brand new green beanie. Some beanies fit so good and he has to wear them all the time. His old one has gone in the bin. He’s sad that the Christmas decorations have to come down. He puts each separate arch piece in a bag for life. He has to repair the plaster from where he drilled the holes for the hooks for the kitchen arch. Last year he installed wall plugs.
Lazy’s Ugg boots have arrived. The Next and ASOS boots are going back. Creepstopher ruined his Uggs from last year by stamping on the back of the boot. They come with a waterproof casing. Lazy's legs haven’t been shaved since before she had Aurora. Some people have a rigorous shaving routine but that isn’t her. Armpits are different.
Lazy announced she was getting fish and chips. Esmé went into the shoe room and got the boots she stole off her last year as she really wants to go with her. Esmé says Lazy let her have them. Lazy disputes this and screeches that she isn’t making her out to be a liar. They’re her boots. Isabelle has the walking boots in
tit brown colour to match Creepstopher's trousers. Lazy is wearing crocs to go to the fish and chip shop.
Esmé has decided to take her cup of tea with her to the chippy. They have to go to the One Stop as the chippy don’t take cash. The One Stop staff have no idea who the Inghams are but are so lovely. They’re the kindest, most lovely men. One time Isla got loads of sweets but was 10p over what she had and they let her take the sweets. It’s not just about letting you off money but they ask how Lazy and the kids are.
Isn't that basic manners? They managed to persuade Lazy to buy a bag of Orange Mini Eggs today. You can’t say no to the man.
Lazy shoves three eggs in her channel tunnel gob. She wants an orange Crème Egg. They’ve changed their recipe since she was a child. Esmé cackles at how Lazy says “Cadbury” because there’s no ‘d’ in Cadbury.
Girl is as thick as both her parents combined. Hopefully she’s doing it for attention. Esmé has been calling it “Cabury” her whole life. The ‘d’ is a fancy ‘b’. Cackling. There’s more sugary shite on the middle seat next to Lazy. She turns into a little girl when she “tries to speak American”. She doesn’t think Cadbury is in America.
Well she wouldn't know because she can't go back without Creepstopher.
The girls are burning off their dinner playing Jace’s basketball game. Aurora is alone on the living room floor as per. She hasn’t been fully accepted into the family yet. Maybe her birth vlog didn’t bring in enough money. Lazy seems surprised that 3 month old Aurora is outgrowing her up to one month babygro.
She already has but in Lazy’s view you only outgrow something when you can no longer breathe when you wear it. She is sad that Aurora is outgrowing the Teddy outfit. She calls Aurora’s name like she’s a dog and then starts squealing at her in her usual baby voice.
I can feel the vomit creeping up my throat.
Lazy suddenly remembers she has Aurora’s hip appointment tomorrow to see if they’re healthy. She absolutely has NOT been reading here. Lazy never reads Tattle and you’ll never find it on her (deleted) search history. Jace wants a pet spider. He’ll get a cage for it. Lazy says they’ll chat. Mila’s hip appointment is next week. Aurora’s hips have been checked twice and have been found to be great twice. She’s been referred for a scan due to Mila. Mila never weight beared on her feet but Aurora does.
End of vlog
