HOW I SPENT MY BIRTHDAY AT DISNEYLAND PARIS! VLOGMAS DAY 14
Footage of the elves and Christmas countdowns being changed. They drive to Disney. Footage of scanning their passes and the park. Creepstopher welcomes us to Disney Studios and says happy birthday to the gorgeous wife he is constantly cheating on. She has been waiting to be 37 for ages. She’s excited to turn 40 and wants to go to New York at Christmas for that birthday.
I’m sure NYPD will want a word when they find out he is there as the age of consent is 17 in New York. Creepstopher says his 40th is first. They’re doing as many rides as possible before going over to the Disney park and meeting friends. Lazy says they don’t have long because they’ve had a slow morning and it’s 1pm. You either get there for magic hours at 8am, take it easy and get there in the afternoon or you’re hardcore and do the whole thing.
Or you get up at a reasonably normal time i.e. 7/8am and make the most of your day. Creepstopher says hitting the parks at lunchtime is fine. Isla wants to go on Crush’s “Crushin” Coaster but the queue is too long so they tell her she can’t.
Anything Isla wants = “No”. anything Jace wants = “Yes. You’re such a clleeeeeeeeeveeeeeet booooooooy. Would you like a Nobel Peace Prize as well?”. It’s never less than an hour and always madness. Isla asks if she’s done it before and Creepstopher thinks she has. Lazy spots something for Jace to do.
Jace has been so excited about this Cars ride. Screeching. The queue took 25 minutes. Isla says she and Esme are going on the front and Lazy and Jace are going in the front of their car so they can have a race. Jace starts screeching and chooses the red car but someone else gets there first. They get in the green car. She asks if he can drive fast. I’m not sure whether or not someone missed out on a ride because there are two seats in the front and two at the back but Jace is sat alone at the front with Lazy alone in the seat behind him. She pretends to be scared and sets him off screaming.
Jace kisses Lazy. She asks who that is over there and it’s Buzz. They queued for Buzz but he went for a break, the attendant said he wouldn’t be out for 20 minutes and Woody came out after that time. Jace wanted to meet Buzz so they left the queue. They’re at Slinky Dog. Lazy is gutted as she has dropped her phone and smashed the screen. The protective case broke too. Squealing at Mila. Creepstopher sits next to Mila and Lazy. Isabelle and Esme are with Jace. Esme seems more preoccupied with her phone. Screaming from Jace as the ride starts. Woohooing from Creepstopher. Mila has a gold bar to eat but no one has cleaned off the fluff stuck to the corner of her mouth. She gives no reaction to the ride. Jace runs screeching to Rex.
The Inghams are heading to Tower of Terror. RC Racer has an hour long queue but they only have an hour. Walking.
The Inghams are now in the Disneyland Park. They were going to go to Buzz Lightyear as Jace is asleep. When they got there everyone was waiting for a parade. They decided why not as Lazy gets to rest her trotters whilst she sits on the wall. Jace can stand on the wall. They’re at the parade exit. Acoustic version of Auld Lang Syne to footage of the parade. Isla screeches as someone waves at her. A duck blows her a kiss.
Isla excitedly says she got a wave from Mickey, three high fives, Snow White said she liked their bows (Lazy says someone else did too but she can’t remember who), Cinderella waved at her and Tinkerbell drew a heart in the air. Time to head to Buzz. They’re seeing a Christmas show soon too. Jace cries because he thought Buzz would be in the parade. Creepstopher says his little sweetheart missed it all as she is asleep.
It’s an hour and 10 minutes before they meet their friends next door at the indoor theatre place. Buzz has a 45 minute wait so they’re hitting it up to blast aliens. Lazy has gone to get hot chocolates. The Buzz ride breaks down when they’re in the queue. Jace fell asleep on Isabelle. Creepstopher calls him a scammer when he says he didn’t. The queue gets going again and Creepstopher is thrilled. Jace jumps excitedly and screams at the life size Buzz model. Creepstopher knew he would react so the camera was ready. Screeching on the ride. Isla screams as she beats Isabelle’s score.
The Inghams were supposed to be meeting their friends at the Christmas show but they’re not coming now as they’re on the Indiana Jones ride. They’re meeting them in an hour at the next showing and in the meantime are doing the Star Wars Ride. Lazy asks for a parent switch as Creepstopher forgot to do it with the Buzz ride. Lazy brags that she gets to do the ride twice as she can come on again with Creepstopher. They’ve never had to queue this far along.
Lazy shows Creepstopher the parent switch and says it’s what a good wife does. He takes the camera. The parents are let loose and it’s a dangerous time. Creepstopher is giddy and asks Lazy if she got the French or English version. She got French and thinks there should be a sign as it ruins the experience.
Ah, the old “there was no sign” excuse has been dragged out again. In the summer they ask who is French and who is English and go with the majority.
I should point out now that there are English subtitles onscreen. Creepstopher obviously can’t read as he says he can can never understand what the story is about.
Footage of Mila watching the Christmas show as Lazy squeals at her in her vomit inducing baby voice. I’ve no idea whether you’re allowed to film the show or not but Creepstopher does and I’m sure blocks the view of people behind him. Isla waves at the characters and obviously doesn’t understand that they won’t wave at her in the middle of a dance. Christine squeals at Mila.
Lazy cackles at Jace, who wants to go on an adventure. In the next shot they’re having dinner. Lazy confirms they met the Radfords as they’ve received 8 million messages asking if they know they’re there. She has been speaking to Sue and arranging a meet up for 4/5 years.
They’ve obviously been a avoiding the Inghams then but couldn’t this time as they’re in the same place. They were meant to meet them in Edinburgh but didn’t. Jace loved playing with the Radford children. The Inghams have a dinner reservation at Sequoia Lodge at the Hunter’s Grill. Lazy shows us her plate and everyone else’s. She got Mila’s plate first so she could taste it. Jace wants tomatoes. Later he eats a pear but has a plate of desserts in front of him. The girls stroke his hair like he’s a lost dog waiting for a home. Cackling at Mila and her dirty high chair.
The Inghams head back through the park. If you asked Lazy what her Christmas dream is she’ll say something that isn’t allowed. His Christmas dream is walking through the Disney Village with his mulled wine like he is now. Screeching as Lazy cheerses him. He loved the buffet and they have another tomorrow. The food is good but 45€ for over 11s and 25€ for 3-11s.
Esme will be 11 this week and Jace will be 2. They can’t get away with it with Isabelle though. They’re walking back to the van so they can kick it. There is a mad day planned for tomorrow. Lazy loves so many people wishing her happy birthday.
End of vlog
Noel Radford and Chris Ingham. Two child predators meet at last. I cannot believe how young poor Sue looks in this photo. She is supposed to be 14 years and two months old but looks about Isla's age but with makeup on. Makes me feel very sick. What 17 year old Noel did was rape; Sue was 13 and unable unable to consent due to her age. Laws are the law for a reason and the police would do good to convict Noel for his historic crimes. Everyone in Sue's life has failed her, most of all her parents for not protecting her. I could go on for hours but will stop here as this isn't the Radford thread.