"The Ick" #4

[PrincessCharming]

As well as his oversized, slobbering tongue, Jamie Oliver has dirty fingernails. His cookery programmes give me the boak.

 

[candyland_]

Imagining a man decorating a Christmas tree

My ex.
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.

His wreath got nicked every year

 

[Sea]

My ex.
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.

His wreath got nicked every year

Glad he's your ex

 

[Blue pumpkin]

I know, I know...but equality and feminism aside I can't stand seeing a man hoovering.
Ickity ick

 

[TapToBoreMeRigid]

Plumping cushions. Carefully closing curtains.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Plumping cushions. Carefully closing curtains.

Eek. I'm somebody's ick. More the curtains though. Gotta keep the sneaky peekers out

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

My ex.
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.

His wreath got nicked every year

How old was he? I chuckled at his wreath getting pinched and then felt bad

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

My ex.
Each year him and his ‘mummy’ would go out on the same day every single year to pick up his real Christmas tree and then he would spend two days decorating it with his expensive glass baubles.

His wreath got nicked every year

Which wreath? Do you mean one on his mother's grave?

 

[DrMeredithGrey]

Men using lip balm.
dries me up quicker than one sheet of Plenty

 

[Pink blancmange]

He was definitely planning on cutting me up in small pieces and stuffing me in a suitcase

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

He was definitely planning on cutting me up in small pieces and stuffing me in a suitcase
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Yeah plus he got "know" mixed up with "no" - lucky escape!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Bio’s like this. He sounds like he’s got short angry man syndrome (he is 5’8” )

 

[Spider12]

He was definitely planning on cutting me up in small pieces and stuffing me in a suitcase
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Christ alive! What a charmer! You definitely had a lucky escape with that one

 

[lurkingaround123]

Bio’s like this. He sounds like he’s got short angry man syndrome (he is 5’8” )
View attachment 863407 q

I love reading this type of tinder bio! All them positives you’ve listed about yourself and still nobody wants to date you because you’re a lunatic. And you’re right it’s always men 5’9 and below

 

[PrincessCharming]

If he’s saying 5”8” you know he’s only 5’4” on his tiptoes.

 

[Emerald37]

All the men on the only way is Essex

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

If he’s saying 5”8” you know he’s only 5’4” on his tiptoes.

And he's added his willy size to get the total profile measurement.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Men who wear beaded bracelets.

 

[Kittypops]

I remembered an Ick from many moons ago...

It was around 2014 and was at boyfriend of that times place, cooking. I reached into the cupboard for some herbs and spices, of which there were many. All open and ready for use, but in Sainsbury's packaging from the days of yore and dated best before 1998.

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

When men excited about seeing a fight break out