Sunbeamsjess #2 we put the same effort into this title as she does her content

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Lola123 said:
Maybe given the location and she kept saying her birth plan (I don’t know if this is a new thing) I think they’re now going down the private route or surely she’d be back in London for where she’ll have been having midwife appointments
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I don’t think birthplans are exclusive to private healthcare. I think most pregnant women are encouraged to write a statement for certain wishes during labour (and then subsequently throw them out the window when labour actually happens since I’m sure at that point many women don’t really care anymore)

but I do think she’s going private. Im wondering in part if that means she has a little more freedom in terms of how long Zack can stay with her and baby after labour what with COVID and all
 
Smca53 said:
To be honest if that’s all you think a persons 20s are about then I feel really sad for you and I’m sorry you missed out on all that the 20s can offer in terms of growth and experience.
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I definitely DO NOT think that about your 20s but I have for sure been told before that's what you should be doing in your 20s.
 
While I think there's a different preferred path for everyone, I also think some comments are sort of forgetting that Jess is several years out of her masters' degree, and during college especially plus a bit into grad school she did seem to have fun going out with friends extensively. Not having tons of hookups that we could see, but I feel like I've seen comments phrased as though she were an 18 year old Bible Belt girl being forced into a life of serving her husband and kids with no other idea of her options. She's had plenty of idea of her options, plenty of exposure to the concept of her mom having kids and still going on to balance motherhood with a successful career. She partied in college and has since then settled down into quite the homebody from what we can see.

(More of a general statement - going back to what was said about her in the previous thread, too, but it just occurred to me now.)
 
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Yeah, let's not talk like she hasn't travelled. She did her Gap Yah with the previous boyfriend, has popped off to SA a couple of times in a mindblowing hotel with her mum, and her dad now lives overseas as we know from the infamous Lockdown Trip of 2020.

I think the only thing I would have done differently in her situation was try and get the house renovation done or close to done by now. I'd want my own space with a baby.
 
I personally think it’s Zak who has not used his opportunities in his 20s. That would have been the time to build his career in whatever field that is, but it seems his entire life is now dedicated to Jess and her family.

And yes, I did go out a lot in my 20s and traveled everywhere, lived abroad etc. I still do those things. But I also did my traineeship at my first job in my 20s and worked hard on the foundations of my career. In my field, a child would not have fitted in*. In Jess’ field, that should not be an issue.

*edit: for either a man or a woman
 
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Nova said:
I personally think it’s Zak who has not used his opportunities in his 20s. That would have been the time to build his career in whatever field that is, but it seems his entire life is now dedicated to Jess and her family.

And yes, I did go out a lot in my 20s and traveled everywhere, lived abroad etc. I still do those things. But I also did my traineeship at my first job in my 20s and worked hard on the foundations of my career. In my field, a child would not have fitted in*. In Jess’ field, that should not be an issue.

*edit: for either a man or a woman
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I always wonder about Zak, I think it’s nice they could collaborate interests and work together, he just seems really chill & easy going. I think they’re well matched, he does seem very invested in her family but I think that can be common for boys to get more involved with the girls family? Especially since her family have the means to put them both up too
 
Elyezabeth said:
While I think there's a different preferred path for everyone, I also think some comments are sort of forgetting that Jess is several years out of her masters' degree, and during college especially plus a bit into grad school she did seem to have fun going out with friends extensively. Not having tons of hookups that we could see, but I feel like I've seen comments phrased as though she were an 18 year old Bible Belt girl being forced into a life of serving her husband and kids with no other idea of her options. She's had plenty of idea of her options, plenty of exposure to the concept of her mom having kids and still going on to balance motherhood with a successful career. She partied in college and has since then settled down into quite the homebody from what we can see.

(More of a general statement - going back to what was said about her in the previous thread, too, but it just occurred to me now.)
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I agree - she is an adult woman! Whilst i know this is a forum, the amount of judgement/ criticism/ commenting on her pregnancy just shows that women can never really make the 'right' decision in the eyes of society especially when it comes to if and when be a mother.
 
minniemoo42 said:
I agree - she is an adult woman! Whilst i know this is a forum, the amount of judgement/ criticism/ commenting on her pregnancy just shows that women can never really make the 'right' decision in the eyes of society especially when it comes to if and when be a mother.
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I feel that people here are actually pretty supportive of her, and I get the impression that people commenting still like her. The consensus to me seems to be that people think she will be a good mum, and people are happy for her and hope the best for her and her family. This thread is super tame compared to some stuff on this site anyway.

If anything, I think people's comments are because people see potential in her and maybe have more ambition for her than Jess wants for herself haha. If she's happy how she is that's fine, she's a successful influencer so it's not as if she is doing nothing, even if her uploading is v sporadic, but no harm in discussion if it isn't hateful.

Her wealth and lifestyle are gonna spark discussion as it's so unique to see someone her age in her position. She puts it on the internet so being curious and discussing it comes with the job.

I do agree that women get judged a lot in regards to motherhood, and whether they want children or not. I've experienced this and would never encourage it toward others.
 
I agree with the above comment - it doesn't seem like most people are being super rude toward her, just that a lot of the people talking about the choice she's making in having a kid were discussing it as though she'd never even given herself the chance to experience anything in life. I think she seems to have had a fairly experience-full life up to this point, and isn't missing out on anything because of the baby.
 
For me it’s not even the career thing, it’s like she never even left her parents‘ house before getting pregnant. (Student life doesn’t count, and I say that as someone who lived away for university too). She never had that really era of separation in post uni adulthood to just, like... try something different? Even if she ended up back in the same place in the end, there was no attempt made to kind of... spread the proverbial wings a bit. Just plodding around in her parents’ house in that upper floor in the same room with her same uni boyfriend, doing another English degree, (I also say this as someone who did grad degrees too lol), filming ad videos for YT with that same bf who was now employed by her, then randomly pregnant.And for all the joy and adventure that motherhood can bring, that’s that on that small window of adulthood that is closed now. Oh well.

Like I said before, I think the judgements on this would be different if Jess were another class or race.
 
The only real criticism I have seen here was about her travel behaviour during the pandemic. And maybe some who were surprised by her pregnancy.

People are far more judgmental towards her visible output to her audience.

Edit: I do agree, this would have been very different if she had a different background, but at the same time, it would have been more expected for Jess to have children at a younger age. Right now, she is more seen as Binky for MIC for example.
 
getawaywithit said:
For me it’s not even the career thing, it’s like she never even left her parents‘ house before getting pregnant. (Student life doesn’t count, and I say that as someone who lived away for university too). She never had that really era of separation in post uni adulthood to just, like... try something different? Even if she ended up back in the same place in the end, there was no attempt made to kind of... spread the proverbial wings a bit. Just plodding around in her parents’ house in that upper floor in the same room with her same uni boyfriend, doing another English degree, (I also say this as someone who did grad degrees too lol), filming ad videos for YT with that same bf who was now employed by her, then randomly pregnant.And for all the joy and adventure that motherhood can bring, that’s that on that small window of adulthood that is closed now. Oh well.

Like I said before, I think the judgements on this would be different if Jess were another class or race.
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I definitely agree with it being a little odd on that front. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I don't really think Jess is from a culture where it's typical to have multiple generations living in the same house. She even bought her own house and then was in no hurry to renovate it. On one hand I think it's good to be thoughtful with that big of an investment, but if it were me, I'd want to get some parts of the house livable, and then move in and get started with making it "a home" even if more renovations were planned for years to come. It does seem like her situation at her mom's house is more akin to having her own apartment attached to the family home than actually still living with her mommy at 30 or something, just because of the size of the house (and, when at the farm, having their own barn), but why buy a house then? Was it some "investment" that she's not actually that eager to live in? I'm sure her mom and Indie will be happy to have her and the baby around, but I personally would want my own place before having a kid, especially if I knew that Grandma's house was only a short drive away.

Also agree with the other poster who said that Zak seems like he's "given up" far more potential than Jess. Jess seems kind of lazy/lost/depressed, but Zak seems to have things he likes doing, just never enough to put up a fight when Jess asks him to stop doing them for her. Maybe he enjoys being able to relax on his pension for driving Indie around, but he's pursued other careers before, and only stopped when Jess *needed* a full-time assistant for her part-time content production.

ETA: Of course, I know that Jess thinks construction is too annoying to put up with noises in a house she's living in lol. But it's just another aspect of her situation that I don't understand. If I bought a house I'd be STOKED to start living in it and making it my own space.
 
getawaywithit said:
For me it’s not even the career thing, it’s like she never even left her parents‘ house before getting pregnant. (Student life doesn’t count, and I say that as someone who lived away for university too). She never had that really era of separation in post uni adulthood to just, like... try something different? Even if she ended up back in the same place in the end, there was no attempt made to kind of... spread the proverbial wings a bit. Just plodding around in her parents’ house in that upper floor in the same room with her same uni boyfriend, doing another English degree, (I also say this as someone who did grad degrees too lol), filming ad videos for YT with that same bf who was now employed by her, then randomly pregnant.And for all the joy and adventure that motherhood can bring, that’s that on that small window of adulthood that is closed now. Oh well.

Like I said before, I think the judgements on this would be different if Jess were another class or race.
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I’m gonna disagree here, multigenerational living is having a resurgence, it’s not that uncommon for grandparents to live with their kids, people seem to think it’s weird but speaking from my family it gave my parents some of their best memories and meant they spent a lot more time with their grandparents, her mum’s had cancer this year? Why would she want to move out? I know if it was my mum I’d be doing the same, heck I’ve lived miles away for years now and I still long to live back with my parents even now (and I’m the same age as Jess) they have enough independence, they’re living in a separate building at the farm, there’s a lot of age constructed stereotypes in society and she has a house to move into, she just isn’t rushing things, which given her family circumstances you can fully understand
Just because someone doesn’t conform to societies choices doesn’t mean it’s wrong, just because she has the money doesn’t mean she wants to leave? Yes she might be judged otherwise if she wasn’t who she is but context is important to everything
 
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Lola123 said:
I’m gonna disagree here, multigenerational living is having a resurgence, it’s not that uncommon for grandparents to live with their kids, people seem to think it’s weird but speaking from my family it gave my parents some of their best memories and meant they spent a lot more time with their grandparents, her mum’s had cancer this year? Why would she want to move out? I know if it was my mum I’d be doing the same, heck I’ve lived miles away for years now and I still long to live back with my parents even now (and I’m the same age as Jess) they have enough independence, they’re living in a separate building at the farm, there’s a lot of age constructed stereotypes in society and she has a house to move into, she just isn’t rushing things, which given her family circumstances you can fully understand
Just because someone doesn’t conform to societies choices doesn’t mean it’s wrong, just because she has the money doesn’t mean she wants to leave? Yes she might be judged otherwise if she wasn’t who she is but context is important to everything
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Disagree, I think despite all those things it’s most important to become your own person and forge a life of your own that isn’t always entwined with your parents. It’s called boundaries and cultivating your own identity. And this isn’t about taking a little longer to ‘fly the nest’, that’s fine! or even after years away and a life made, making the choice as an adult to join households for whatever reason. This is about adults who for whatever reason just don’t leave their parents’ household ever despite having the means to do so.

You can still be incredibly close and see each other a lot but staying under your parents’ roof as a full adult who is earning piles of money (and I kinda doubt she’s paying rent), speaks more to (1) arrested development, and (2) enmeshment, wherein either parents or children have bound their lives too closely are are unwilling to grow separate from each other. It’s not about ‘society’, it’s about growing up lol.
 
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