Barely anything happened this week, and yet what little did was cringe-worthy, problematic, dramatic and mostly unnecessary. This is fast becoming Sarah's shtick: cringe, problematic, unnecessary.
Monday:
The week began with a whinge/complain of extreme privilege. Sarah started the week at the gym, except we had a problem! OMG woe was her, because her airpods were missing from the case. But because she's a special breastfeeding mom birdie on a timeline, with issues nobody else in the world would understand, she didn't have the luxury of going back to get them.
Since she was on a timeline and didn't have the time to go gether earpods, she proceeded to get into a series of too many long-winded Instagram stories from the gym, illustrating how shegot through this very serious crisis.
But that was not all. She followed it up with some more long-winded stories from the car explaining some more how she navigated her music/airpod crisis. In case her stories from the gym weren't clear enough.
In these, she explained she "aggravated her pelvis again" by overdoing cardio work and slipping in single leg exercises over the weekend, because she thought "she has recovered from pregnancy" but nope. Woo.
This was probably her most manic, active day on Instagram. Nothing interesting said, nothing to remember or write home about. And she never mentioned her pelvis again, which made many of us believe it was a lie.
Tuesday:
Drops the absolutely cringey announcement video for her most scammy "giveaway" yet.
1) the "giveaway" is atcually a competition that requires people to pay and purchase subscriptions to bodybloom AND sunny, to enter
2) the T&C were truly questionable and absolve the parties orgamnising the competition from even conducting the contest as they claim they will
3) the video itself had her "channeling Paris Hilton" with that stupid bad fake British accent, that nobdy likes and nobody gets. She then cribbed about Gen z people who didn't "get it" because she had people in her DMs apparently pointing out and poking holes in her video. So what happened to the 30yr old women who make up her audience then?
Wednesday:
Starts the day talking about Malakai in the only way she talks about him anymore: by telling everyone he doesnt sleep and is grumpy. Apparently he is a "temperamentally chill" baby, but just won't sleep. So she did the best thing she could do in this situation, took him to a coffee shop to nap, while catches up on work, aka gets on Instagram stories, talking loudly to herself in public, waving her phone around, ALL WHILE people watch her thru the cafe window.
Love that for her. And for M. And all the people in the cafe trying to get a chill breakfast.
She also posted some butt fuggly White Fox clothes on her Instagram feed, which again made her look like a 13 yr old playing dress up with mummy's clothes. This was somewhat worse than her mummy makeover vlog.
At home later that day, she held Malakai in her arms, up in front of the camera, while she talked about an upcoming active wear line with White Fox Boutique that is in the works. Claimed it is still a year away and while she would ealrier treat such collabs as super secret projects she wants to involve her sissys this time around. Threw in a bunch of super inane question boxes and polls to get people's inputs on what they'd like it to be. We think this was done more to increase engagement which has been seriously flagging. AND to show White Fox that there is still interest or excitement in her clothes. The whole exercise seemed very suss.
Thursday:
Just as we had called it only 12 hours earlier, the entire exercise around questions about the active wear seemed like a sham. She showed up the very next morning, mere hours after asking for suggestions for the new line to help her build a mood board, fresh out of a meeting with WF claiming everyone is going to love how "beautiful, effortless and wearable" her new line is going to be. Which begged the question: did she go from beginning to build a mood board to already knowing what the line would feature in 12 hours?
NO, of course not. She probably went in to see samples ripped off from current trends and lines already in the making, so she can slap her ugly name on to and call it a day.
She then posted a stupid reel bragging about her boxing progress/comeback, at 4.5 months postpartum. She never will realise how unnecessary and toxic it is to use the words postpartum and comeback in the same sentence.
Friday:
MOre whinging about how she has had the worst night as a mum, co sleeping with M. She made extra special duck me eyes in the bathroom mirror in an almost-open bathrobe exposing her ever milky cleavage ever so slightly.
She went on to claims Malakai wanted to be "on her all night" so on account of having slept a total of one hour all night, she has had to skip her workout and choose to eat "meal after meal." She whinges and stories while taking out "leftover chicken soup" that actually looked like coagulated, day old spaghetti alfredo that needed a fork and knife. It was SOUP, fyi.
Later in the day she posted an "extended cut" of Fox making popsicles for her yoghurt collab. Weird content.
Saturday: crickettsssss
Sunday: moaarrrr crickettsssss
What is her social blade update looking like today?
It appears more of a younger person's go to hoodie, so I'm sure Sarah and Kurt cling to it to show how young and cool they still are.
