PTWM #208 Drink wee, spill tea, woe is me, extra E

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Mrsell said:
You can call it shameful but it's difficult to know what you'd do in that situation. My daughter had a very similar experience at 16. When she told me what had been said to her I lost my tit. I was going in and calling him out in front of everyone, blasting the business on Facebook and calling the police but what she said will always stay with me 'This is why I didn't want to tell you and why I'm sometimes scared to scare stuff. I'm telling you because I need you to support me and tell I'm ok not so you can make this so much bigger. You always react like this '. I was devastated. She asked me not to take it further but just to love and support her - so I did. Did I tell the mum of another girl who worked there absolutely but I did not report it because my daughter told me unequivocally that is not what she wanted and to protect our future relationship and ensure she would be able to trust me in the future. Yes she was technically a minor but I did what she wanted as she didn't want to rehash it and wanted to move on without it always being that thing that happened.
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As a daughter of an abused parent. Who never told anyone about their abuse. It fucked with our relationship. Cycles happen because they are never broken.

My parent still lives with what happened to them every day because they never told anyone. Do they wish they did now in later life. Absolutely. Maybe after years of your daughter dealing with it. She may wonder why you didn't act on it. Who knows.

Just to also say. My parent told their other parent after years of abuse. Who did sod all as well. And it fucked their relationship up.
 
I think it's a very sad situation if girls decide a man shouldn't be punished for what they've done just because they don't want to think about it any more. Something can be really awful but watching someone's downfall and paying the price for their actions is surely empowering? And knowing you've helped other avoid that is an amazing thing to do. We need to teach our girls they aren't always victims - they can be the winner in these situations.
 
Mrsell said:
But you can't re-victimise victims who categorically do not want you to take action. It is not on victims to 'save' other people.
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Of course not - Betsy was only 16 after all. But, as a parent and a DA advocate, Rach should have at least logged it with the police even if Betsy didn't want to make a complaint. It's the LEAST she should have done.
 
Moongirl69 said:
It is on adults to protect children though...
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Especially an adult that is her parent, and at the time whose whole persona was saving women from the abuse of men (before she diversified into autism, going gym, menopause, Slosh the chef and whatever else might make her a few extra 💰💰💰). She thought she was being clever posting that she has all this "evidence" about him, but in actual fact all she has done is shown how little she really gives a tit about abuse.
 
chickhicks86 said:
Especially an adult that is her parent, and at the time whose whole persona was saving women from the abuse of men (before she diversified into autism, going gym, menopause, Slosh the chef and whatever else might make her a few extra 💰💰💰). She thought she was being clever posting that she has all this "evidence" about him, but in actual fact all she has done is shown how little she really gives a tit about abuse.
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What good is "evidence" if you do exactly nothing with it?
 
Mrsell said:
But you can't re-victimise victims who categorically do not want you to take action. It is not on victims to 'save' other people.
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I agree with you that it’s not up to victims to save other people and it really depends on the situation as to how people react. No one can ever really say what they would do in any situation until it happens to them. Hypothetically and reality are two very different points of view. I think in your situation, you chose to adhere to your child’s wishes, which must have been hard as most of us would naturally want retribution or justice. It’s a subjective matter. There is no uniformed response to these things.

That said, given that Rachael had already blurted Betsy’s experiences out to thousands on Patreon, they had nothing to lose by following up on their allegations to protect the other girls that would be potentially harassed in the same way. She spoke of it initially on that earlier thread as though it was a matter of Betsy standing up for herself, but now there is context, it’s definitely a situation she should have taken action in as a minor’s mother. Not just gossiped about it with strangers that pay her and then gobbed off 4 years later on Instagram. It’s like she didn’t know how serious it was, which is bizarre.
 
Mrsell said:
But you can't re-victimise victims who categorically do not want you to take action. It is not on victims to 'save' other people.
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It takes a huge amount of courage for a victim to speak out and I totally get why many don't want to face further abuse in the court system. But a supposed advocate for DA survivors, married to a police officer (albeit one on a 'career break')...? Between them they had the platform & the contacts to at least flag this up locally, and therefore make it less likely that other young girls would be targeted by a predatory prick. 😤

That's the bare minimum I would expect from most parents, even those as exploitative as Rach & Sloshy. NOT some half-arsed 3rd-hand victimhood post on social media years later.
 
My thoughts are if betsy needed it to not include her. Make a noise. Leak it to papers, theyd investigate themselves.
If they'd got her help could she have recieved the right care to feel like she then wanted to report.
Or she could have had help and done a third party report with the right assistance.this is downloaded forms which a thrid party charity for instance the survivors networks can help and do it for them. The police then do an investigation into said person or place and gather info and see if there is previous.

They could have made anonymous call to the police from any phone the police have to investigate child abuse.
Or via childline. They would then go in and talk to all there and hopefully some of the girls could then talk.
The biggest one is josh! He was in in in deep within the police at that time. It would take nothing for an officer to find a way of that kind of thing reaching the right ears ir detectives. And knowing rhe dirty kind of cop slosh is he could have made that happen easily.

A parents role is to listen to the victim. Even if they don't agree. Even if it goes agaisnt every instict. Hopefully with the right kind of support not someone like rathet screenshot ting and saving for later or silavating over it and teasing it online, then the victim has a chance.
Cpuld they still have found a way to get something done. Come on this is mafia slosh and ratchet. The pide piper of teens. She could've. And would've if she actually gave a tit and didn't want to save it for later. Or worse shrugged it off and didn't take it seriously enoguh
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Queeniebee said:
They'd be at the top of my list..... they seem so much fun when out and who doesn't want peadeo Pete drooling all over the women and flashy fiona with her tiny tits and fishy Fanny out at your wedding!
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Imagine the bloody speech! Somehow me me me. Or how hot do I look. Or a bashful quirky little fondle my fanny all you men in the room manipulation diatribe because she's just the woman of all woman and don't we all want to livm this goddess feet.
 
The Besty restaurant guy situation.
Betsy wasn't the first abused worker I'm sure.
The victim before her didn't report so he was able to then abuse Betsy.
Betsy didn't report so he was able to abuse another after her.
See the repetition of this guy?

Women can't expect men to just stop, they need to be forced to stop & so reporting them is the start.
Someone has to be that person.
I understand the confidentiality aspect but if someone acted sooner 'you' might never have been subjected to those advances.

It sounds very simplistic I know but the cycle needs to be broken.
Given Rs sm stance I'm shocked she didn't act really shocked.
 
VCJR said:
Where did you get that photo of Rachel from? And do you know whose wedding they went to?
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It was on her Patreon instagram and I don’t know who was getting married. Someone she’s been best friends with forever no doubt but also someone we’ve never heard of 🤣
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Oh dear 🤭
 

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