One Day Of Winter #5 Bathroom locked, lentil slop, favouritism has to stop.

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Heaping the blame on ember again 😓 ‘Raven is so easy to get to bed’ well it could all be a lot easier Nicola if you took some control back from your almost 4 year old (and that’s her actual age, she’s not a toddler as you describe her 🙄)

Raven runs that household. Its past gentle parenting, it’s like Nicola bows down to her.

Also! It’s a shame Nicola feels so anxious she had to have her mum there, again I think if she took control of her own mental well-being she maybe wouldn’t feel so anxious about tasks that should be fairly simple (don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of bad lone bedtimes and it’s hell, but single parents manage it every day? She over complicates things a lot.)
 
Putting two kids to bed doesn’t need to be a big deal. I have 3 children and 60% of the time I do bedtime alone and it has been that way since my youngest was 1 week old. I actually coslept with my baby and 3 year old at one point with a 5 year old thrown into the mix too.
I’m not the perfect parent, sometimes with little ones it can be a stressful time of day, especially if one is calling for you and goes through the whole need a drink/need a wee/seen a spider etc and you’re tired and just want them to go to sleep.

Cosleeping is lovely but only if it is working for you and for her it clearly isn’t. In her position,I would put R into her own room, make a big fuss of her being a big girl, pick her own duvet cover etc, get her starting the night off in her own space. Put Ember to bed and then go to R for story and cuddles. That would help her getting them to bed in the evening. If R wakes in the night then she can come in with them. This is what we did for my middle child who co slept until 3.5.
 
LeslieKnope said:
The simplicity of a bedtime routine with 2 is put the almost 4 yo to bed, do a story along with the baby, hug and a kiss, then leave and go and feed the baby before putting her down too.

I’m not the world’s most natural mother, but even I managed this absolutely fine and totally on my own with a much, much smaller age gap between my children, so a much bigger lack of reasoning on the part of my older child.
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Same for me, I have 13 months between my younger 2 and one has high medical needs (cystic fibrosis) still managed to get them to bed. Occasionally it would be stressful but due to having a solid routine generally it was pretty easy.
 
FraggleRock said:
Is it just me, or does the term ‘milky cuddles’ just make you shudder 😬😂
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I find a lot of breastfeeding language makes me feel the same, and I did it myself for a year, so I'm not against the actual act. People talk about normalising breastfeeding, but some of the language people use just has the opposite effect.

"I was boobing the baby." 🤢 No, you were feeding the baby.
 
Whilst I fully agree that you can't spoil a baby by holding them all the time, I do think she should put Ember down some times to sleep. She's said herself that unlike Raven as a baby, Ember will happily sleep independently, so why does she always have her in the sling?

She claims part of Raven's problem is that she's "grieving" 🙄 the loss of one to one time with her Mum, so why does she never seem to give her that time? If Ember will settle in her pram or moses basket, or wherever, why doesn't she leave her and play with Raven one to one, without Ember between them? If Raven gets that baby-free time occasionally, she may be more willing to accept the fact that other times Ember will unavoidably have to be there.
 
DiscoBiscuit said:
Whilst I fully agree that you can't spoil a baby by holding them all the time, I do think she should put Ember down some times to sleep. She's said herself that unlike Raven as a baby, Ember will happily sleep independently, so why does she always have her in the sling?

She claims part of Raven's problem is that she's "grieving" 🙄 the loss of one to one time with her Mum, so why does she never seem to give her that time? If Ember will settle in her pram or moses basket, or wherever, why doesn't she leave her and play with Raven one to one, without Ember between them? If Raven gets that baby-free time occasionally, she may be more willing to accept the fact that other times Ember will unavoidably have to be there.
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Probably because R will wallop the baby if given the chance so she can’t put her down
 
sassmaster3000 said:
There are at least ten ways to make her life easier with bedtimes, but they all start with treating the children as equals. So for now, Raven wins and ember cries. And we keep posting to the Facebook group for validation.
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Honestly. Reading it I was just shaking my head. How can she not realise there are so many more easier ways? I don't have an opinion on extended breastfeeding, but surely she can have a feed if she needs to then go to sleep on her own? At 4 years old being fed to sleep just seems abit much to me. She isn't a baby anymore and there is a baby in the house who needs are more important given its her only food source!
 
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