One Day Of Winter #4 Reading this thread ‘isn’t her jam’, meanwhile R's got the baby in a choke slam.

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Hold up - Raven can do no wrong because she is the chosen one, BUT when she apologises for being a ratbag, she’s not apologising enough??? Am I reading this right?
This poor child must be so confused.
 

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sassmaster3000 said:
Hold up - Raven can do no wrong because she is the chosen one, BUT when she apologises for being a ratbag, she’s not apologising enough??? Am I reading this right?
This poor child must be so confused.
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I’m sorry, but am I the only one that thinks the bit about Embers crying triggering Raven is not normal, a baby crying should not be a cause of an older siblings aggressive behaviour! I really think she needs to see someone about Ravens behaviour, that does not sit right with me at all!
 
sassmaster3000 said:
Hold up - Raven can do no wrong because she is the chosen one, BUT when she apologises for being a ratbag, she’s not apologising enough??? Am I reading this right?
This poor child must be so confused.
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I wonder if Nicola gets fed up sometimes that she’s chosen this parenting style? Can’t understand why E triggers R by squawking, what an odd thing to say. My autistic niece has triggers, her saying that isn’t right nor is R’s behaviour.
 
sassmaster3000 said:
Hold up - Raven can do no wrong because she is the chosen one, BUT when she apologises for being a ratbag, she’s not apologising enough??? Am I reading this right?
This poor child must be so confused.
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It's almost as if Raven's never been taught that actions have consequences 🙄
She knows she can do what she likes, as a quick "sorry" is the end of the matter.

Also, didn't Nicola say in a recent post that Raven wasn't lashing out any more? That was obviously bullshit.

Why is she asking strangers on the Internet if her child's reaction are OK? If you're not happy with the way things are, change them. If you're happy, carry on. But because you want to, not because the Facebook experts tell you to.
 
One thing that jumped out is language like “We don’t hit!” is the kind of thing you say to a young toddler with limited language/understanding. You can do better than “we don’t hit!” when you’re talking to a nearly four year old.

So yeah, I’m not surprised Nicola was worried she was being too permissive. Imagine being hit, scratched and having your hair pulled just because the baby’s crying and you’re tending to them.

So if you’re reading Nicola, it’s OK to make your kid feel bad about attacking you. I would have had some very stern words about how sad I felt and how much it hurt.
 
I feel like she lacks confidence with her parenting hence needing to ask. I would say I probably come under the gentle parent banner(although my eldest was born before it was a trend, no Instagram then!) and tbh much of it is just doing what works for your family and following your instincts. For all her confident self assured posts on Instagram, she is just winging it l(which is fine and normal).

I am in that group and sometimes find it so unhealthy, women are tying themselves in knots to parent the way Sarah deems to be correct even if that means going against your natural instinct to praise your child when they do something. It is just as bad as those who religiously follow other parenting gurus like Gina Ford and get themselves stressed out trying to make their baby fit a set routine.
 
Gossngiggles said:
I feel like she lacks confidence with her parenting hence needing to ask. I would say I probably come under the gentle parent banner(although my eldest was born before it was a trend, no Instagram then!) and tbh much of it is just doing what works for your family and following your instincts. For all her confident self assured posts on Instagram, she is just winging it l(which is fine and normal).

I am in that group and sometimes find it so unhealthy, women are tying themselves in knots to parent the way Sarah deems to be correct even if that means going against your natural instinct to praise your child when they do something. It is just as bad as those who religiously follow other parenting gurus like Gina Ford and get themselves stressed out trying to make their baby fit a set routine.
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I really cannot stand the whole ‘don’t praise your child!’ Thing. I am also a fairly gentle parent but I will praise my kid when she does something good 🤷‍♀️ I’ll also tell her that her actions can affect people and make them upset. When she was small and I still had PND I would tie myself in knots worrying I was constantly doing the wrong thing because there were such contradictions and conditions always being mindful of exactly how you phrase things etc (sometimes I think their phrasing is so unnatural ‘I’m going to move your body so you can’t hit any more’ 👀) . So stressful!
 
I can see there are replies on there that say she should tell R that her behaviour isn’t kind etc and she’s just ignored them. Yet interacts with ones that agree with her. Her post also follows her normal.... “I know I’m right, I know I did the right thing, I won’t listen to anything that suggests otherwise” agenda. I never reply to any of her posts on there because she won’t listen. I don’t know why people bother with her
 
maytoseptember said:
It’s interesting that N is able to frame R’s behaviour as normal, understandable, not remotely negative at any point, ever.

And yet a baby who cries is always described as “squawking”.

Bit negative, innit?
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Yes!! Ember can only communicate via crying or babbling, Raven, according to Nicola has ‘excellent speech’ so why can’t she explain to Nicola what she wants rather than pulling her hair and hitting her?

Sorry but Raven is not the sort of child I’d want my kids playing with. She seems like she flies off the handle at any old thing!
 
justfortonight said:
Yes!! Ember can only communicate via crying or babbling, Raven, according to Nicola has ‘excellent speech’ so why can’t she explain to Nicola what she wants rather than pulling her hair and hitting her?

Sorry but Raven is not the sort of child I’d want my kids playing with. She seems like she flies off the handle at any old thing!
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I've said before, if we were out and ran into Nicola and Raven, and Raven got "a bit hitty" with my child, I would expect to see a bit more discipline than I imagine she would give. If my kid hit another child I'd be absolutely mortified, but I feel like she wouldn't, and would just brush it off as normal behaviour.

Can someone explain to me the logic behind the no praise thing? It's not something I've heard before.
 
I - 😱🥴🤡

I am creasing at the idea of Nicola locking herself in the bathroom whilst Raven lobs lentils and Dean's hat at the door.

Someone ask on the rocks post if Raven used them as projectiles :p
 

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