One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

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Theplantmum said:
This!


Ahh right. So odd to slate school when you work in them and can see all the hard work and effort that goes into running them.
She sounds narcissistic to me.
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She sounds absolutely tit at her job to me.

I just don't her at all. She claims gentle parenting and does this with Queen Raven yet what she does with Ember, goes against the ethos she claims she's all about.

Doesn't support neck when holding baby
Allows the 3.5 year old to feed before the baby
Sends the baby to a seperate room to sleep so she can comfort the 3.5 year old
Leaves the baby in bed to practically sit on top of the 3.5 year old while she eats
Holds baby as far from her has possible and leaves her on the floor in every story.

She's a shocking parent to be fair. She is only capable of loving one child and now has a second whose basic needs she can't meet.

She's an absolute fake. Preaches one thing, does another.

ceecee454 said:
i’ve said this before sorry but i’m gona say it again, so many of her parenting choices seem rooted in grief. almost like she can’t stand to be away from raven in case something happens.
which is fine, apart from it’s not actually fine cos it’s going to (alresdy has?) create a really unhealthy codependency type relationship for them both.
we all want our kids to have healthy attachments to us (obviously the outcomes for insecurely attached children and children with attachment disorders can be horrendous) but healthy attachments are also needed with others. she’s going absolutely the other way with this. this is alresdy a kid who won’t let her dad near her?? and pea seems to just allow it
there seem to be absolutely no boundaries or consequences of certain behaviours for this kid
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She's ruined Raven and potentially Dean and Ravens relationship and will ruin her relationship with Ember because she can't leave Raven alone.

Meanwhile Raven thinks she's the Queen of the world and runs that household. She's a brat and the most mind blowing thing is thst she acts a brat and Pea blames everyone for not being gentle too.

She's the parent that comes to the nursery and tells me how I should be doing my job, even though I've 20 plus years professional and personal experience.

She reads one parenting book on one style and sneers at anyone who doesn't agree.

Knob head.
 
Where is Dean today whilst she’s coptering Ray all day? She’s lucky she can stick Ember in that wrap, how IS she gonna cope when Embers on the go? When she’s playing with Rays old toys, is she really gonna let her, can see it now, every toy Ember has Ray wants it snatching it out her hands. What about when Ray wants her friends to stay over? 🥴 I just don’t get how its all gonna work in years to come.
 
Slating her workplace...
 

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Me&My said:
Where is Dean today whilst she’s coptering Ray all day? She’s lucky she can stick Ember in that wrap, how IS she gonna cope when Embers on the go? When she’s playing with Rays old toys, is she really gonna let her, can see it now, every toy Ember has Ray wants it snatching it out her hands. What about when Ray wants her friends to stay over? 🥴 I just don’t get how its all gonna work in years to come.
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He’s probably still in bed, or sat on his arse playing computer games 🙄

If Ray carries on the way she is, behaviour wise towards other kids, I doubt she will have any friends wanting to stay over, she’s an entitled brat now and she’s only 3.5, god knows what she’s going to be like when she’s older!
 
FraggleRock said:
He’s probably still in bed, or sat on his arse playing computer games 🙄

If Ray carries on the way she is, behaviour wise towards other kids, I doubt she will have any friends wanting to stay over, she’s an entitled brat now and she’s only 3.5, god knows what she’s going to be like when she’s older!
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where has this bad feeling towards dean come from? Who says he lies in bed or plays computer games?See this is why I hate pea because she makes everyone think this when really, we all know dean isn’t even allowed to sit on the same sofa as queen R. I feel really sorry for him.
 
ceecee454 said:
we all want our kids to have healthy attachments to us (obviously the outcomes for insecurely attached children and children with attachment disorders can be horrendous) but healthy attachments are also needed with others.
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It’s interesting that you’ve brought up attachment theory, because attachment parenting seems to be based upon a complete misinterpretation of attachment theory. You don’t need to be an attachment parent to have a securely attached child, despite what sanctimonious APs preach. Being loving and responsive is enough. You don’t need to martyr yourself.
 
maytoseptember said:
It’s interesting that you’ve brought up attachment theory, because attachment parenting seems to be based upon a complete misinterpretation of attachment theory. You don’t need to be an attachment parent to have a securely attached child, despite what sanctimonious APs preach. Being loving and responsive is enough. You don’t need to martyr yourself.
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yep couldn’t agree more! the concept of attachment parenting isn’t really well defined and there is definitely no scientific link between attachment parenting and secure attachment, though parents who practice AP would have u believe otherwise
 
Serious_Susan said:
It’s interesting that she’s not involved her mum. Being that they can bubble with another household

I’ve just gonna way way back on her insta. She seems so lost now, so out of touch with who she is. Early on when Ray was born she seemed to much brighter.
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I totally agree with this. If you look back to the year Raven was born and beyond the house actually looks very nice and homely, lovely and bright.
Photos of all of them genuinely looking happy but with some thought to how it looks like no crusty socks in the foreground or whatever.
From her previous jobs and social media until this point you can tell she’s was a really creative person who enjoyed her life and presenting it to others. I followed her when she was pregnant with Winter and her following grew organically, obviously it sky rocketed after their tragic loss - but my point is she definitely seems to of lost herself and doesn’t seem to take much care and attention to anything but Raven? I remember she had professional photos done of Queen R and whilst I know there’s a pandemic on she could easily of taken some nice ones herself instead of these mediocre shots of poor baby E’s head hanging of her arm or in a carrier, not forgetting the stained baby grows 🤢
 
Bex1504 said:
She was on the breastfeeding older babies group saying that Raven wants to feed every time the baby does and wondering when it might end x
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Interesting because according to insta she’s ‘nailing’ it all the time. Like I said anything Ember has/wants Queen R is gonna want it because the crunchiness has not learnt her life lessons in sharing. Ray will HATE any attention not being on her because she’s had 3.5 years worth of being on a pedestal. I think thats why shes carrying E round in the carrier so she can slyly stick her on tit whenever she murmurs and is helicoptering.
 
Bex1504 said:
She was on the breastfeeding older babies group saying that Raven wants to feed every time the baby does and wondering when it might end x
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Jesus. Maybe it was just me finding BF challenging but I found it so overwhelming when feeding my baby. You feel like your body isn't your own and feel touched out. I cannot think of anything worse than a small child demanding access to my breasts when I' m feeding a newborn. Nicola must feel the same if she is asking when it will end. Mothers deserve bodily autonomy too. Tell her that the baby needs to feed and R is a big girl now. I'm sure she would enjoy the big sister role.

Also. Is she making that curled lip smile on purpose or is that just her face?
 
Bex1504 said:
She was on the breastfeeding older babies group saying that Raven wants to feed every time the baby does and wondering when it might end x
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It’s a shame she can’t see the glaringly obvious answer, that she’s going to have to tell Raven she needs to stop.

What other solution is there? She can’t continue to be an on demand milk cow for them both, she’s going to be exhausted. Sorry I’m really not against breastfeeding toddlers until like 18m-2, but pre-school age is a bit much for me 🤷‍♀️

It’s silly that she believes Raven must decide when she stops ‘nursing’ when it’s Nicola’s body. She gets a say too.
 
Bex1504 said:
She was on the breastfeeding older babies group saying that Raven wants to feed every time the baby does and wondering when it might end x
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it’ll only end when she tells raven to pack it the duck in and have a cup of milk if she wants milk, and a cuddle if she’s needing some comfort you know like most pre school aged children have?

there are people out there breastfeeding 6/7 year olds 🥴

i don’t get the facade. why act like everything hunky snory on insta when it’s clearly not? it’s not healthy for one and two, it doesn’t help other people! so many people on this thread have said how inferior and shite they’ve felt because of her smugness and superiority

justfortonight said:
It’s a shame she can’t see the glaringly obvious answer, that she’s going to have to tell Raven she needs to stop.

What other solution is there? She can’t continue to be an on demand milk cow for them both, she’s going to be exhausted. Sorry I’m really not against breastfeeding toddlers until like 18m-2, but pre-school age is a bit much for me 🤷‍♀️

It’s silly that she believes Raven must decide when she stops ‘nursing’ when it’s Nicola’s body. She gets a say too.
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my sentiment exactly only you articulated it much better 👏🏾
 
Peakyblinders said:
where has this bad feeling towards dean come from? Who says he lies in bed or plays computer games?See this is why I hate pea because she makes everyone think this when really, we all know dean isn’t even allowed to sit on the same sofa as queen R. I feel really sorry for him.
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This!

He works in retail as a store manager, he provides all the stuff she doesn’t mention. He provides the roof over their heads, nursery fees, bills etc. Not forgetting that Winter was his son too. His son died and he’s not allowed near his daughter because P has created a demon.
I hate the hat but he’s probably bald from the stress of that environment.
 
As gross and dirty as the hat thing is....when I first met my husband he always wore a cap...even when we were cuddling etc and getting intimate..I think he just started wearing a cap and then felt uncomfortable without it. He doesn't wear it as much now but would still never go out without a hat or cap.....I've tried to wean him off it!!
 
God she is such a bleeping martyr. She obviously doesnt like R feeding all the time and feels ‘touched out’. Just tell her ‘no’. Raven needs to learn about boundaries and consent. She can’t just whip our Pea’s boobs whenever she wants, especially when it is not welcomed. Honestly, i just want to grab P and shake her!!!
 
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