Niomi Smart #79 'Money, money, money' Substack honey- trap!

[Shutterbug99]

Sorry I phrased that badly - I 100% believe she was in Cape Town with him. I think the timing and everything just seems very not logical because maybe originally they had planned cape town together and were expecting to to return to London for a bit, and there was no yoga course. Then breakup happened, she planned yoga course, then went crawling back to him for a week in SA before heading back home. (Hence why she came back between South Africa and India) I wonder if he'll be coming home to Ireland/ the UK as well?

It'll be interesting to see where he pops up next. He mentioned he was in Cape Town 'for the next while' and that was only three weeks ago or thereabouts. @Callan mentioned upthread that he's due in Bali in May, which gives him another 3/4 weeks in SA and will also coincide with the end of Niomi's yoga retreat.

Hopefully she goes back to London and doesn't meet up with him in Bali.

 

[cookehmonsta]

Do we think it was a “return of the star” trip?

She was seen wearing it after he’d left for Dublin, so assuming she still had it?

Wondering if it was a “closure” and “here’s ya ring back” trip

I hope for all our sakes that is the last of him.

 

[Shutterbug99]

Do we think it was a “return of the star” trip?

She was seen wearing it after he’d left for Dublin, so assuming she still had it?

Wondering if it was a “closure” and “here’s ya ring back” trip

I hope for all our sakes that is the last of him.

I dunno. He was in Dublin for two months after their break-up and it would have been a whole lot easier and cheaper for her to return the ring to him there - or even just send it by recorded delivery so she didn't have to see him!

I feel like this was a possible rekindling. We really don't know the reason for their split or what has gone on behind the scenes since then. I hope I'm wrong though!

It's a long way to go to return a ring, but then Niomi loves her long-haul flights. Maybe she just needed closure on their relationship since it all ended seemingly so suddenly - and she's finally done with him now. I'm not so sure though...

 

[WinterSolstice]

She's definitely hiding something and it's not a brain.

Thread title nomination

 

[frooshh]

Someone in the comments of her vlog said they saw her in South Africa

 

[ECH]

Someone in the comments of her vlog said they saw her in South Africa

That's probably someone who reads here trying to wind her up

 

[Jackie Daytona]

Based on everything she’s ever written about the breakup, it doesn’t seem like she’d need closure.

 

[Cloak]

She comes across as totally loopy in that new vlog, like she’s trying to do this peaceful hippie earth-loving slow way of speaking but it just comes across as eccentric and like she’s losing the plot. It all feels really self conscious too but I don’t know why anyone would want to put that on, it just makes her look daft

 

[Flybubble]

Why on Earth would she decline the Maldives trip to house sit her family's house on her own? It makes no sense. Also "a while" isn't a few days, she's blurring the timeline on purpose.

 

[Orzosquarecaramel]

She’s clearly unhappy in her latest video. Taking all these random medicinal herbal supplements to try and improve her life when a serious therapist is probably the best thing to help her work through everything. DJ breakup was a long time ago but a therapist can still help Niomi!!
Also, if the house is empty is this when her family went to the Maldives? Why on EARTH would she turn down a free trip to the Maldives and a chance to spend time with her family and celebrate her mum?? They clearly didn’t need her to housesit
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Why on Earth would she decline the Maldives trip to house sit her family's house on her own? It makes no sense. Also "a while" isn't a few days, she's blurring the timeline on purpose.

Omg hahaha exactly my thought

 

[Littleflojo]

Sampoorn yoga posted a story and I'm 99% sure it's Nims in it, and looks like it's only her.

What if the reason she came back to the UK after going to SA was that SA had actually been planned a while ago? As in, before she and Donkey called it quits and she decided to take the yoga course? That would explain why she didn't plan the flight to go directly from SA to India

She also liked his latest post so this wouldn't explain why she has done this. New theory, they did break up, but now she has found out she is pregnant

 

[Lionsden]

Niomi tries desperately to come across as humorous and lighthearted in the last video but she seems tense and manic instead. She makes jokes (for want of a better word - we all know she's not funny) about absolutely everything and contorts her face a lot. Many times you can see the whites above her irises. She seems full of pent up rage. In the last scene with Noodle, she might as well be posting from the mental asylum. It's disturbing. She doesn't look very good, just prissy and uptight. Her hair doesn't look as good as it does in her recent instagram photos, it's pretty dull and ratty.

 

[curiouscat106]

Nah, if she was pregnant she’d be giddy! She’s made no secret of her desire to be a mum. I think that’s why she’s gone back to the donkey. She’s worried she won’t find anyone else to have a family with and (in Nim’s loopy mind) better a family with a farmyard animal than the prospect of no family at all.

 

[Coldfeet]

THey are way too nice to her, then they drive her to the airport, she always knows how to use people while you never see her show up for anyone esle or help out.

I saw that Charlotte liked that Maldives post, was curious if she follows Niomi again and nope, but she still follows Joey haha. Guess he wasn't the villain Nims made him out to be.

View attachment 2861850 q

They just want to make 100% sure she does get on the flight!!Big whoop up back in Sussex- peace n quiet for a month. Yippeeee
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Do we think it was a “return of the star” trip?

She was seen wearing it after he’d left for Dublin, so assuming she still had it?

Wondering if it was a “closure” and “here’s ya ring back” trip

I hope for all our sakes that is the last of him.

Post would have been a lot cheaper- just saying

 

[supercalifragilis]

I don't think there were enough of these medicinal mushrooms in that thingy to help her "brain function", from the sound of it.

 

[Tshads404]

How has nobody mentioned that diarrhea looking “smoothie bowl” in her latest vlog? That’s the most depressing thing I’ve seen in awhile

 

[amarantine]

I am forever amazed at the sleuthing skills of everyone on here, I wouldn’t even think to check the plane reg - impressive! Tattlers are very rarely wrong and it really sadly looks like she’s going to go running back to that creep she’s brainless and vapid and ridiculous but I’m so worried about the nature of their relationship, I reckon he’s so manipulative and coercive. My ex I’ve mentioned upthread somewhere was (is, can’t imagine he’s changed) exactly like that and it honestly took me blocking him on all my socials and my mum keeping custody of my phone whilst I changed my number over to stop him contacting me begging to get back together and begging for me to see that he’s really trying to quit gambling etc, and I can see Lordon being exactly the same. It would have been so much harder for me to stay clear of him if I still had any way of him being in touch because he was just that coercive! I would like to mention I am hopefully not as brainless and vapid and ridiculous as Dimbobs is and I spent 7 years in that situation so what he could do to her life really does worry me!

 

[supercalifragilis]

That vlog was WILD in a boring way. She's lost the plot. Everything she says sounds like she's saying it solely for the camera, and to convince herself that she is happy. The rest of her body language screams MISERABLE. She has nothing to say. She doesn't even cook. It's a vlog of her feeding animals on her farm sounding smug and preachy, then the saddest smoothie bowl of all time - she explains that she knows she could just put it in a glass and call it a smoothie. Her life is basically taking what she thinks are the same ingredient and trying to reproduce the same smoothie bowl happiness she had found in the Joe days, except now it's only manic, vapid Niomi trying to make a watery smoothie appealing, while running back to her shady culty ex whom she thinks looks like a passable Joe replacement but actually is an absolute donkey. Congratulations on rock bottom, Niomi! You've truly outdone yourself.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I just can’t believe she really couldn’t have found someone better on Raya or something? Like, personally I think she’s very plain, and she has absolutely zero personality, but SURELY there’s rich guys on Raya looking for a boring wife type? Why has she had to go back to him?

 

[MuthaCuppa]

Do you think she offered to house sit because she hadn’t told her family she was planning on going to Cape Town to see him and knew they’d try and talk her out of it. She knew she could fly off without their objection if they were away when she left.