Niomi Smart #4 where did Joey goey?

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
1
Hes clearly done the breaking up and it clearly took niomi by suprise. She wouldnt have posted the video with charlotte if she'd had an inkling

Even if he did find niomi controlling, or annoying, or didnt like her eating habits these are all things that he would have known before he proposed, even if she gave him an ultimatum about india, if he didnt want to be with her for life he shouldnt have proposed

Breaking up with someone who your planning a wedding with is a really crappy thing to do. He has publicly humiliated her. It doesnt really matter what your excuse is, if he didnt like he he shouldnt have got engaged.

I know it was several threads ago but I dont really understand whats controlling about her not letting him eat the cake. If I had just baked a cake for my birthday like duck is my bf allowed to cut a bit off and eat it.
 
People change, it could be that he wanted to marry her when he proposed and not so much after spending lockdown with her. Do you expect him to spend the rest of his life with her just because he already proposed? It's best for her too - she won't have to spend the rest of her life with someone who married her just because he thought he had to.
 
Giraffee95 said:
Even if he did find niomi controlling, or annoying, or didnt like her eating habits these are all things that he would have known before he proposed, even if she gave him an ultimatum about india, if he didnt want to be with her for life he shouldnt have proposed

Breaking up with someone who your planning a wedding with is a really crappy thing to do. He has publicly humiliated her. It doesnt really matter what your excuse is, if he didnt like he he shouldnt have got engaged.
Click to expand...

Uh well yeah it’s a crappy thing to have to do, but what’s the alternative, just go through with it because ‘if you felt that way you shouldn’t have proposed’? Nothing is ever guaranteed, not even feelings or love. So his feelings changed, or perhaps his true feelings revealed themselves. It happens, engagements end just as marriages do. Would you really want to say your vows to a man who wasn’t that into it anymore but was keeping quiet just because? Then inevitably in a few years go through the wringer of a bad divorce after she’s invested even more time and a whole marriage?

Of course Niomi has every right to be angry with him and hurl all these things at him but objectively speaking, if you are having doubts the humane thing to do is to end things before following through with marriage.

Too often when you hear of early divorces they all say similar things, they knew it was wrong when they married but thought they’d try, they knew it was wrong but felt the wedding arrangements had been made already and couldn’t back out at that point.

Life is crazy, heartbreaks happen, embarrassments happen, life goes on.
 
Idk what other people’s experiences are but it seems like people these days quite often have an engagement before the engagement where they actually get married? Wasn’t the case for me, but I seem to know many people who were engaged to someone else then those relationships ended (oftentimes because their head was turned by someone else) and now they’re engaged again or even married to someone else (in some cases the ‘head turner’ from the previous engagement). I never used to hear of this happening much but it seems to be increasing. I think some people feel like if their relationship is dying then getting engaged and planning a wedding will reignite the fire kinda thing when really the relationship is just dead in the water and should be ended.

I think Joe gave some clues to this effect without realising it tbh like saying he’s glad Niomi went to India with him - not that we decided to go together. He would’ve gone no matter what. So in a sense it would’ve been better for them both to have realised that then and have broken up then. I think it must be pretty traumatising to have spent months in lockdown with someone only for them to ditch you as soon as you’re free, if that were me I’d be going over the whole thing in my head constantly for ages afterwards.
 
Giraffee95 said:
Hes clearly done the breaking up and it clearly took niomi by suprise. She wouldnt have posted the video with charlotte if she'd had an inkling

Even if he did find niomi controlling, or annoying, or didnt like her eating habits these are all things that he would have known before he proposed, even if she gave him an ultimatum about india, if he didnt want to be with her for life he shouldnt have proposed

Breaking up with someone who your planning a wedding with is a really crappy thing to do. He has publicly humiliated her. It doesnt really matter what your excuse is, if he didnt like he he shouldnt have got engaged.

I know it was several threads ago but I dont really understand whats controlling about her not letting him eat the cake. If I had just baked a cake for my birthday like duck is my bf allowed to cut a bit off and eat it.
Click to expand...
In a perfect world, yes he wouldn't have proposed had he realised he didn't want to marry her... so presumably when he proposed, he genuinely did want to spend the rest of his life with her. I want to assume best intentions. Clearly something has changed in the last 8 months whether it be lockdown causing Joe to have a change in perspective in regards to what he wants out of life... whether he's decided that maybe he never wants to have children (something Niomi would clearly want) or whether his feelings for her shifted.
 
judgejohndeed said:
Idk what other people’s experiences are but it seems like people these days quite often have an engagement before the engagement where they actually get married? Wasn’t the case for me, but I seem to know many people who were engaged to someone else then those relationships ended (oftentimes because their head was turned by someone else) and now they’re engaged again or even married to someone else (in some cases the ‘head turner’ from the previous engagement). I never used to hear of this happening much but it seems to be increasing. I think some people feel like if their relationship is dying then getting engaged and planning a wedding will reignite the fire kinda thing when really the relationship is just dead in the water and should be ended.

I think Joe gave some clues to this effect without realising it tbh like saying he’s glad Niomi went to India with him - not that we decided to go together. He would’ve gone no matter what. So in a sense it would’ve been better for them both to have realised that then and have broken up then. I think it must be pretty traumatising to have spent months in lockdown with someone only for them to ditch you as soon as you’re free, if that were me I’d be going over the whole thing in my head constantly for ages afterwards.
Click to expand...

(Can I just say that I loathe the phrase that someone "had their head turned", as if it is somehow involtuntary or someone else's fault that they had wandering eyes/thoughts/whatever else)

Agree that Joe probably checked out a while ago and it must have been rubbish to have been dumped as soon as lockdown was over.
 
This is maybe the first time in Niomi's life that someone did something to her that she can't control. Joe embarrassed her by dumping her. Because she just put a video about asking her best friend to become a bridesmaid, she cannot say that she dumped him. Their relationship has always been weird, she loved him much more than he loved her. I think it's funny that she is funny showing her true colours by being so childish on instagram. Joe in the cinema just chilling and laughing probably infuriated her and she blocked him and Freddie.

Mr.Mistoffelees said:
Joe is still following her public Instagram, though. How strange.
Click to expand...
I think he is down to earth, he broke up with her and doesn't have bad feelings towards her.
 
CheshireLove said:
(Can I just say that I loathe the phrase that someone "had their head turned", as if it is somehow involtuntary or someone else's fault that they had wandering eyes/thoughts/whatever else)

Agree that Joe probably checked out a while ago and it must have been rubbish to have been dumped as soon as lockdown was over.
Click to expand...
I hadn’t thought of it like that before, but actually I agree with you. Apologies for wording it like that
 
Hi, I'm new to this thread but I've followed Niomi since the Marcus days. Here's my take on it.

It sounded like initially Niomi agreed to go to India on the basis that it would be a 2 year adventure with some visits to London during. And if she had something really important for work she could come back to the UK for a few weeks. If something happened with her family (good or bad) she could go home to take part/help out. She was happy to make this compromise on the terms that it was temporary and they would come home, get married and settle down together.

Everything has changed since then. There's a global pandemic, travel is unpredictable. Niomi wanted to stay in the UK, with their families. Joe still wanted to do his cricket job no matter what that meant (no wedding in the foreseeable, having to bubble or even go without Niomi, potentially getting stuck in whatever country with second waves etc). Suddenly the moving abroad for Joe was a completely different scenario. And she didn't want to basically put her life on hold, away from everyone she knows, during the uncertainty of the pandemic, and stay inside in whatever random country while Joe works. Joe was unprepared to give up the job and Niomi decided that it was unfair and she wasn't prepared to blindly follow him. Hence the whole "putting herself first this time" comments.
 
I agree. This is the first time she's ever experienced rejection in an otherwise privileged, cosseted life and she simply doesn't know how to handle it.

Whilst I wouldn't wish this experience on her - it's horrible to be told that someone's feelings for you have changed, when yours for them remain the same - it does happen to all of us at one time or another. For some of us, more than once :ROFLMAO: (y)

Think it's time for her to pull her big gal pants on and get on with it.
 
Even if there was a video coming out today, it wouldn't be anything interesting. I think she's going to keep on garnering attention until that orange goo is about to come out.

She's still #1 most read thread on tattle today and the last 5 days 😵
 
Leah91 said:
It’s probably good for her to not make any big life changes post-breakup. I think some stability will do her good right now considering what she’s been through the past 6 months with all the moving.

“Beware of Destination Addiction

- a preoccupation with the idea that happiness in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

^ want to send her this. I can see her jumping into a new relationship just to feel like she’s moved on.
Click to expand...

OFF TOPIC BUT IF THIS ISNT JIM CHAPMAN!
 
Fifi999 said:
Urmmmm she has experienced rejection before in the name of Marcus Butler - also we don’t know her biological father but that feels like big fat rejection to me
Click to expand...

I feel like it's fairly clear that Marcus wasn't the one doing the dumping in that relationship. Sure, they made it seem mutual but Marcus looked genuinely gutted in his video announcing it whereas Niomi posted a tweet and bounced back really quickly.
 
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
Back
Top