Eurgh, back from another horrendous 48 hours of chemo debilitating life! Unlike the fake 48 ghost hours of NNL who seems to be making the day about herself again!! Not going to Mary's memorial?! She never had anything to do with her really as Mary didn't like the fake bullshit! She wouldn't know a panic attack if it hit her in her rat face! I'm sure she's very conscious of dying, aren't we all with this stage disease but the fact Mr Ghastly was there to hold her hand
My day started with an actual panic attack, laid on the bed unable to move. I genuinely thought my number was up. Couldn't breathe, shaking, vomited, wet myself, paralysed. For over an hour. When this finally subsided I got up (unsteady), crawled to the sofa and have been here ever since. No food, can't stomach it (even biscuits dipped in tea) in immense pain, waiting for the end. This is cancer, for the young, single, poor people. Not what she's portraying.