Mumsnet #5 Cancel the cheque

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EmilyChambers said:
Maybe call Womans Aid? They can help in abusive situations.

You and your child deserve better. LEAVE. NOW
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I spoke to women's aid. I tried to explain not only was he gaslighting and minimising the abuse by saying that "not putting the plate in the dishwasher wasn't abuse" but he was also financially controlling because when he was made redundant he forced me to stop getting the food shop delivery from Ocardo and made me shop in Lidl instead. It was just cruel.

I asked the woman on the phone if this would qualify me for free legal aid but I think she had a cold or something because she snorted and coughed a few times then hung up?

These men really are animals #metoo. I will start measuring my share of the house equity up and hunt down his pension statements... Bastard.
 
Crabbypatty00 said:
I spoke to women's aid. I tried to explain not only was he gaslighting and minimising the abuse by saying that "not putting the plate in the dishwasher wasn't abuse" but he was also financially controlling because when he was made redundant he forced me to stop getting the food shop delivery from Ocardo and made me shop in Lidl instead. It was just cruel.

I asked the woman on the phone if this would qualify me for free legal aid but I think she had a cold or something because she snorted and coughed a few times then hung up?

These men really are animals #metoo. I will start measuring my share of the house equity up and hunt down his pension statements... Bastard.
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Wait until he’s in a deep sleep (this won’t be hard as in my experience men are lazy bastards that love to sleep after a long day doing their outing hobbies) and use his thumb print to open his phone, then SCREENSHOT EVERYTHING and send it to yourself.

You do sound a bit privileged though OP. I had to work right up until I got a BFP, which was very stressful and might have damaged the nonexistent fetus. I also had no dishwasher and actually had to wash things up by hand- or the cleaner did. You’ve had it easy.
 
Crabbypatty00 said:
I spoke to women's aid. I tried to explain not only was he gaslighting and minimising the abuse by saying that "not putting the plate in the dishwasher wasn't abuse" but he was also financially controlling because when he was made redundant he forced me to stop getting the food shop delivery from Ocardo and made me shop in Lidl instead. It was just cruel.

I asked the woman on the phone if this would qualify me for free legal aid but I think she had a cold or something because she snorted and coughed a few times then hung up?

These men really are animals #metoo. I will start measuring my share of the house equity up and hunt down his pension statements... Bastard.
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Make sure you photocopy all bank statements and Bill's and clear out the joint account and leave your home immediately
 
Oh! There’s a cracker about a proposal on right now. The OP describes herself as ‘traumatised’ by her engagement. It involves a valuable ring of her granny’s, a valuation, missed opportunities for photos, a sunshine holiday where the bf works from 11am-6pm….it’s the most self-indulgent clap trap I’ve ever read! Of course, it’s MN, it’s entirely possible it’s a load of old tripe 🤷🏼‍♀️
 
April89 said:
I find it surprising how much they hate proposals! They really take offence at the idea and fight with each other to describe the most low-key engagement!
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Along with how all weddings are nonsense and all they need to do is go to the registry office next week with two witnesses and go for a nice meal after.

I'd love to know if that's what they did do or whether they had white dresses and churches and parties!
 
doctordoctor said:
No…they turned up in jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt and the whole thing cost 20p. That’s how you do a wedding…👍
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But don’t you dare feed your guests anything other than vast quantities of high quality food that caters for every single dietary requirement. If you can’t afford to do this then you should get married in a registry office on a Monday afternoon with only your mum watching.
 
EmilyChambers said:
Along with how all weddings are nonsense and all they need to do is go to the registry office next week with two witnesses and go for a nice meal after.

I'd love to know if that's what they did do or whether they had white dresses and churches and parties!
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They can’t wait to talk about how weddings are totally ridiculous and they just didn’t buy into it, they are so above it, but I also wonder if they had big weddings!!
 
Feel a bit bad for laughing at someone who's trying to be helpful, but on a thread the other day where OP was canvassing opinions on how worried people feel we should be about this monkeypox outbreak someone described the disease as "worse than chickenpox but milder than smallpox". Thabks hun, super informative. Next time I'm off work and someone asks if I was very ill I'm gonna tell them it wasn't as bad as Ebola but still worse than an itchy toe.
 
doctordoctor said:
I enjoyed the one where someone was going to a funeral in an RC church. She wondered what the protocol was and what should she do. She was advised to cover her head, genuflect and cross herself, kneel when the Catholics did…I have been to funerals in RC churches…as I’m not catholic I go in, stand to sing the hymns, I don’t kneel, genuflect, take communion etc. I honestly wonder if some of them ever, ever leave their house!
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I wondered at the time if the OP of that thread was on a wind up.
If I was going to a church that I was unfamiliar with, different religion or whatever, I would act in a respectful manner. Nothing more, nothing less. I definitely would not start a thread anywhere about it.
 
doctordoctor said:
Oh! There’s a cracker about a proposal on right now. The OP describes herself as ‘traumatised’ by her engagement. It involves a valuable ring of her granny’s, a valuation, missed opportunities for photos, a sunshine holiday where the bf works from 11am-6pm….it’s the most self-indulgent clap trap I’ve ever read! Of course, it’s MN, it’s entirely possible it’s a load of old tripe 🤷🏼‍♀️
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all written exhaustingly without any paragraphing whatsoever
 
Griftymcgriftface said:
That engagement thread is tough work. I think the guy will have a lucky escape if she does leave him as she micromanaged and sucked the joy out of the whole situation
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I managed the whole, paragraph-less thing, rolled my eyes so hard I’m surprised they ever unrolled, and scrolled down expecting them to tear the OP to pieces. But somehow people are on her side?! I’m not surprised the poor guy didn’t propose, how could he possibly have lived up to her exacting standards?
 
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