Mumsnet #40 I sit on my throne of potatoes and I laugh

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Talking of mugs, a couple of years ago some miserable old trout on MN complained that her GP practice nurse had a mug on her desk saying ’I’d rather be shopping’. The moany fucker thought this was most unprofessional and wanted to make a formal complaint to the surgery as she considered it was disrespectful to be so lighthearted in a formal setting. No doubt she’d also loved to have reported the flighty piece to the NMC and had her struck off. I mean, how dare a nurse have a sense of humour. If she’d seen the things me and my colleagues laughed about she’d have died of shock.
 
Serene Serena said:
No wonder you're on a six figure salary. Do you need an assistant researcher?
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I shall respond to you in the style of an oh-so-clever MN text composer.

Dear Serene Serena. Thank you for your message, the contents thereof have been duly noted. Since you previously quoted to myself that you are literally with child, it is my belief that this role would literally not be suitable for yourself. A diagram has literally been provided and I will be making arrangements to see my DSolicitor in the morning and I request that you do not enter into any further discussion on this. Or I will literally call you out.

Head tilt. Tinkly laugh.
 
Our tea = Joe’s. We have one of their catering packs (100 bags) delivered every 6 weeks, which is probably the most Mumsnet thing ever, but it’s my one indulgence (apart from wine, chocolate…..)
I do limit my intake and interspace it with non-Joe’s tea, even though it’s only 23p/bag. 🤣
 
I used to get Brew tea which I loved but was stupidly expensive mainly by stockpiling vouchers then buying several boxes at once when it was on special offer. Sadly for me, they stopped doing vouchers for it and it went up in price to £8.95 and I basically went ‘duck that’ and changed to Twinings EB.
 
50degreesnorth said:
Need a poisonous cup? You’ll need a MN-approved six-figure warning husband - or stop spending your UC on UPFs and Marlboro light menthols - but these are things of beauty:

www.misshavishamscuriosities.com

Miss Havisham's Curiosities

Miss Havisham's Curiosities
www.misshavishamscuriosities.com www.misshavishamscuriosities.com

In batshit MN paranoia - I have recently learned a woman at the other end of my village has bought all the houses in her road so she doesn’t have to deal with neighbours (think people who wouldn’t Knock on your door anyway because you’re mental).
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a woman at the other end of my village has bought all the houses in her road so she doesn’t have to deal with neighbours

@50degreesnorth - I hope every single one gets rising damp, rats moving into the walls, and all the rooves* blow off.

Why not just buy one place miles from anywhere, instead of taking homes out of an already desperate market?

*Rooves? Roofs? 😶🤔
 
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Because she’s an absolute bleeping bleep. We are v rural (think outside M25) and it’s gone down like a lead balloon here as people’s children wanted to “move back” and she’s essentially hoarding the housing stock. She’s a blow-in who has blown (!) 5 year’s worth of desperately trying to integrate.

*We love new people. We don’t like cunts.
 
50degreesnorth said:
Because she’s an absolute bleeping bleep. We are v rural (think outside M25) and it’s gone down like a lead balloon here as people’s children wanted to “move back” and she’s essentially hoarding the housing stock. She’s a blow-in who has blown (!) 5 year’s worth of desperately trying to integrate.

*We love new people. We don’t like cunts.
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Some people are just arseholes.

There is no other explanation.
 
cowtastrophe said:
I have so many questions about the woman who bought the street. Don’t the empty houses need maintenance? Is she very rich? Why not just buy a single house in an isolated area?
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It’s a very long dead-end road with houses few and far between and it’s relatively cheap here especially if you swoop in during probate so it’s not like buying up a south Ken street.

Yes, it’ll have to cost in maintenance- at which point she’ll probably find that through Airbnb, but she won’t call 📱 t Airbnb because “she’s a crunchy Airbnb, not a regular Airbnb “.

I have other proof she’s a MN-er. She’s one of those who claims her children’s favourite foods are lentils, they simply adore wooden toys, would HATE a TUI holiday/caffeine/UPFs/prospect of fun.

She told me the high school child ASKED for an old flip phone just to send texts just in case.

Which contradicts the petition my children were asked to sign this week demanding Crunchy Mum joins the modern world and allows her teenage children a smartphone (petition written by this woman’s child).
 
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