Mumsnet #35 we’ve lost sight of what a crucifixion looks like

[CrimsonCountess]

Seems a fitting title for an Easter thread

 

[Technobiff]

A brand shiny new thread, cheers Crimson

Yet another vape thread on MN that's guaranteed to descend into the usual fight.
Just think how much calmer they'd be if they smoked 20 Lambert's and cracked open the vodka.

 

[Brandshinynew]

I'm still laughing at the comment and picture from the end of the last thread " that's the worst cat I've ever seen"

 

[peachplumpear]

Average helpful MN response

 

[PrincessCharming]

DustyLee needs to take up a hobby as they’ve too much time on their hands. Maybe drinking.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

You know that moment when you spot a username posting in pretty much every topic that appears to be trying to start a fight in an empty room, and just wonder what is going on in their lives to make this worthwhile?

 

[Serene Serena]

If I'm not drinking in the pub (very rare for me, to be honest) then I don't buy rounds, I buy my own sad little lime and soda and glare at everyone else getting pissed and having fun. The pubs round here provide free soft drinks if you're the designated driver.

I love it when Mumsnetters contribute to a thread with ridiculous comments:

Mrs Famous Person has died, I'm so sad
Who is she? Never heard of her

I can't decide between Indian or Chinese takeaway tonight
I don't buy takeaways/eat foreign food

Is this dress okay for a wedding?
I never get invited to weddings so I wouldn't know

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I might starting going on to all the threads asking for advice about their kids behaviour and say ‘I dunno, I don’t have any so I can’t help you’ and see how helpful they find it

 

[Serene Serena]

There are an awful lot of threads about crushes on colleagues at the moment. I can't work out if it's the work of one person or several people staring dreamily at the office hunk and imagining rampant sex across the photocopier after hours.

I walked in on my office manager and her boss shagging one Saturday when I returned to work to get my phone charger. I am still cringing at the memory.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

You know that moment when you spot a username posting in pretty much every topic that appears to be trying to start a fight in an empty room, and just wonder what is going on in their lives to make this worthwhile?

Quite possibly an MRA... who are you talking about?

 

[HoGi]

I fear my husband is a MNer. A car has parked up outside our house and he's calling the police!

Tbf it is suspicious as we are on a busy road that no one parks on as every drive has space for at least 3 cars, it's a bus route and accident hot spot as its a tight bend so you wouldn't park there unless you wanted the car to be driven into. Additionally the back window is smashed in and the wing mirror is hanging off.

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

I might starting going on to all the threads asking for advice about their kids behaviour and say ‘I dunno, I don’t have any so I can’t help you’ and see how helpful they find it

hahaha I would love to be bothered to do that! It's like those people that reply to Amazon questions "sorry I don't know" - it's not compulsory to reply to absolutely everything you read!

 

[cowtastrophe]

Has anyone seen that threads called ‘my husband is a contaminent’? Poor bloke. I can imagine her following him around the house like a ghost with antibac wipes.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Has anyone seen that threads called ‘my husband is a contaminent’? Poor bloke. I can imagine her following him around the house like a ghost with antibac wipes.

Toilet slippers. Wtf are toilet slippers?!!!

ETA made it to page 2 - was laughing so hard. Now we have toilet sandals as well.

 

[bread-pitt]

The “toddler on a plane” thread is peak MN.

OP: “my son is almost 4 and we are going on a 10-hour flight soon. Does anyone have any tips for a long flight with a toddler?”

Responses so far include:

“Why are you flying so far? Have you not heard of center parks?”

“Almost 4 is not a toddler”

“10 hours? Pffft! I flew to Australia with three under three by myself and I’m disabled.”

“Calpol and snacks”

“No snacks! What if he vomits?”

“No Calpol! What if he has a reaction and you are in the air!”

 

[cat_follower]

Watching ‘The swearing on Netflix is ridiculous’ with interest, it’s sure to attract a horde of hand-wringers shortly! I can’t relate as I’m Scottish and also common, my vocabulary is sadly limited by all the bad swears I do

 

[Amoo]

I might starting going on to all the threads asking for advice about their kids behaviour and say ‘I dunno, I don’t have any so I can’t help you’ and see how helpful they find it

They're the same people who don't seem to realise that retailers' 'Can you answer this customer's question?' e-mails are neither personal nor obligatory, creating Q&As full of 'don't know sorry' and 'sorry haven't used it yet'.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

Toilet slippers. Wtf are toilet slippers?!!!

ETA made it to page 2 - was laughing so hard. Now we have toilet sandals as well.

I'd forgotten all about it, but this reminds me... years ago when I was new to MN, someone posted about how disgusting it was to walk barefoot in the bathroom and then through the rest of the house and how she insisted on everyone having bathroom flip flops. I remember thinking, "I'm not taking hygiene advice from someone who apparently shits on the bathroom floor."

But it was a one off and I assumed she was an outlier...

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Toilet slippers. Wtf are toilet slippers?!!!

ETA made it to page 2 - was laughing so hard. Now we have toilet sandals as well.

Oh god, I think I might be a mnetter as I have bog slippers. In my defence we are living in a renovation nightmare in my house, we've just finished the bathroom and we are now working on the spare bedroom and landing/stairs. Unfortunately this mean replastering and dust everywhere and no carpets on the landing, so I bought a cheapo pair of slippers to keep in the lavvy so I could keep my feet clean from shower to my bedroom.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Oh god, I think I might be a mnetter as I have bog slippers. In my defence we are living in a renovation nightmare in my house, we've just finished the bathroom and we are now working on the spare bedroom and landing/stairs. Unfortunately this mean replastering and dust everywhere and no carpets on the landing, so I bought a cheapo pair of slippers to keep in the lavvy so I could keep my feet clean from shower to my bedroom.

Defence accepted!