Mother Pukka #8 Everything is a lie, isn’t it?

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Welcome Chinmates to Thread #8 of the increasingly more erratic antics of Anna Whitehouse, a woman clinging on for dear life to her fella’s chino pockets in a desperate attempt to keep the Hinge Inseminator from wandering, although he has been noticeably absent for a few days.

Rather bizarrely Anna has introduced Spicy Poppins the breastfeeding nanny as a potential SisterWife/Throuple member which nobody could have foreseen. Spicy Poppins McPhee has an OnlyFans-style site, an agent and 13k Insta followers (let’s see if being Anna’s sister wife will boost her following). We are now entering another dimension of influencers hiring influencers to further their own careers.

We all struggled with the timeline of when she got knocked up but it goes something like this:

1st Date Mandarin Oriental (Oct/Nov 2023?). Probably got knocked up with Baby Content Zola Bretton.

2nd Date - Invited herself to Thailand where Bretton had planned a solo two week holiday over the xmas period, no doubt to sample the cuisine, culture and beach life in Thailand (absolutely not to indulge in any sex tourism on a solo lad’s holiday).

As for when Baby Content was due, it varies from 2 to 6 weeks premature according to Anna’s many posts with varying dates. Thoughts to all the mothers on here with preemie babies. Anna is an absolute horror and continues to get away with spouting a lot of lies and BS online which is misleading and offensive. At least she has not yet mention PPP or PND (but we suspect she is lining that up for when it all goes tits up with Chin to Skin).

Baby Content has been dragged out to more events in their first two weeks of life than most of us have been to all year. She seems unable to dress the baby appropriately for the cold weather and keeps wrapping them in an ugly brown gifted blanket embroidered with Zola.

We thought for a moment that Polldoll had escaped the narcissist Mother Pukka’s clutches but Anna (who clearly reads Tattle) ordered her to post a message of support on Insta to put us in our place. Hi Anna!

Oliver Bretton, 24/7 lawyer and bringer of orgasms, appears to not have taken any paternity leave and looks like he is sick of her tit already. There was a very funny video of the two twits on the red carpet at a Tommee Tippee event (LOL) where GLFS leaned in for a kiss and he pecked her drily on the lips and walked away at the same time. Cringing for you, Anna.

The winged eyeliner and pouting remains consistent throughout this saga.

Anna continues to bring the cringe by eyefucking the camera in a Roman Blinds advert for the nursery for her daughter (no mention of the other 4 Von Trapp children) and also putting a singular copy of some poorly designed magazine onto the shelves of her local newsagent just to snap a photo of her eyefucking into the ether.

She continues to bleat on about flex working and get her leaky tits out and pout at any given opportunity. @Affiliatemebaby pointed out it would be far more beneficial to campaign for equal paternity leave but Anna barely cares about that now she’s bagged herself a rich lawyer.

Spicy Poppins has been living in their North London shag-pad since Summer that we know of and films videos of her talking about having Bacterial Vaginosis while in the house or out and about with baby Content Zola. She also talks a lot about Hinge dating which makes me suspect they found her on Hinge but there is no proof for this other than Anna did fancy herself as bisexual post-separation from the chump who couldn’t make her cum.

Buckle up for the festive Fukka season as she navigates her first Xmas as a mother of 5!
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pennypinchpam said:
Thanks! I’m looking forward to the recap 😂
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Here’s one I wrote earlier 😂 ⬆️
 
blurstoftimes said:
i truly can’t believe scamp and dude is still going. the designs were ugly AF then and they’re ugly AF now.

Caught on DLAM’s stories - MP scrolling on her phone during the dinner speech. Why isn’t everyone looking at meeeee and my content baby
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Don’t get me wrong, I spent many an hour on my phone in the early days with both my kids (might I add in bed, or on a comfy sofa surrounded by snacks) but I made sure that I supported my babies’ head and neck since they famously can’t really do it themselves at this stage. It makes me really sad to not see Zola being tucked in close 😞
 
This thread is a riot. Finally got an account so can add my 2 cents on the size of Olly Orgasmatron’s (pay) package, as it’s a field I’m pretty familiar with…

He has 12 years PQE but has never had a title higher than senior associate (you get that around 3-4 years PQE) so he’s a solid middle-flyer, not partner material. Would have probably taken a salary cut when he left Latham in exchange for better hours. 180-250k pa probably, plus bonus. He might get carry but it’s unlikely to be huge pay out as he’s only a deputy GC in legal, and wouldn’t typically be paid until 10 years in the role.

Unless he has significant amounts of family money he’s a real HENRY (high earner not rich yet) and, I know it sounds terrible, but he doesn’t earn enough to support a genuinely fancy lifestyle when he’s got two families and five kids.

It’s hilarious watching Anna act like she’s bagged Mr Big when he’s just a bog standard corporate lawyer, but with extra baggage.
 
heddaverse said:
This thread is a riot. Finally got an account so can add my 2 cents on the size of Olly Orgasmatron’s (pay) package, as it’s a field I’m pretty familiar with…

He has 12 years PQE but has never had a title higher than senior associate (you get that around 3-4 years PQE) so he’s a solid middle-flyer, not partner material. Would have probably taken a salary cut when he left Latham in exchange for better hours. 180-250k pa probably, plus bonus. He might get carry but it’s unlikely to be huge pay out as he’s only a deputy GC in legal, and wouldn’t typically be paid until 10 years in the role.

Unless he has significant amounts of family money he’s a real HENRY (high earner not rich yet) and, I know it sounds terrible, but he doesn’t earn enough to support a genuinely fancy lifestyle when he’s got two families and five kids.

It’s hilarious watching Anna act like she’s bagged Mr Big when he’s just a bog standard corporate lawyer, but with extra baggage.
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Yes, the questionable life decisions he's made up until now don't really hint at partner material. And if it was ever still within reaching distance, he can be sure that's no longer the case. Love that for him.
 
heddaverse said:
This thread is a riot. Finally got an account so can add my 2 cents on the size of Olly Orgasmatron’s (pay) package, as it’s a field I’m pretty familiar with…

He has 12 years PQE but has never had a title higher than senior associate (you get that around 3-4 years PQE) so he’s a solid middle-flyer, not partner material. Would have probably taken a salary cut when he left Latham in exchange for better hours. 180-250k pa probably, plus bonus. He might get carry but it’s unlikely to be huge pay out as he’s only a deputy GC in legal, and wouldn’t typically be paid until 10 years in the role.

Unless he has significant amounts of family money he’s a real HENRY (high earner not rich yet) and, I know it sounds terrible, but he doesn’t earn enough to support a genuinely fancy lifestyle when he’s got two families and five kids.

It’s hilarious watching Anna act like she’s bagged Mr Big when he’s just a bog standard corporate lawyer, but with extra baggage.
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thanks this is very educational. Did we work out if their place was rented?
great recap also
 
heddaverse said:
This thread is a riot. Finally got an account so can add my 2 cents on the size of Olly Orgasmatron’s (pay) package, as it’s a field I’m pretty familiar with…

He has 12 years PQE but has never had a title higher than senior associate (you get that around 3-4 years PQE) so he’s a solid middle-flyer, not partner material. Would have probably taken a salary cut when he left Latham in exchange for better hours. 180-250k pa probably, plus bonus. He might get carry but it’s unlikely to be huge pay out as he’s only a deputy GC in legal, and wouldn’t typically be paid until 10 years in the role.

Unless he has significant amounts of family money he’s a real HENRY (high earner not rich yet) and, I know it sounds terrible, but he doesn’t earn enough to support a genuinely fancy lifestyle when he’s got two families and five kids.

It’s hilarious watching Anna act like she’s bagged Mr Big when he’s just a bog standard corporate lawyer, but with extra baggage.
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She therefore can't be a nanny and I think she's the lodger. There's no way on this earth his salary is covering a nanny, rent of a seemingly large central London house (plus bills), assuming 2 x children at private school, a Mercedes (seen in the car seat story), ex wife and kids maintenance and some. I think she's lodging to fund said life and they maybe cut her rent for babysitting hours
 
Reckon the nanny with the fishy fanny is a sort of au pair Mother’s help type thing. Not being paid proper nanny rates, probably helps out with the kids in exchange for a room and internet exposure.

Definitely does not earn enough for 5 kids at private school. Probably doesn’t earn enough for his 3 kids at private school without family money (which I assume will not cover Anna and Matt’s kids whatever happens).
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If I was Anna tbh I’d be terrified, this guy makes no sense. I can see her motivation for the wedding (content, securing the bag, getting a win over her ex)… but what is his?

I genuinely can’t see how a rational lawyer decides to marry a stranger he got pregnant on the first or second date. Who is married to someone else. The potential random financial exposures give me a headache. You’d think having been divorced before (which I’m guessing was expensive) he’d be more wary.

My strong feeling is that he’s the kind of guy who would lovebomb, let Anna get all carried away planning a wedding basically by herself and then tap out a few months before because he wasn’t feeling it. And his friends and family would all shrug and say yes he is a bit like that, we hoped it would work out but you did get pregnant without knowing each other really.

I feel like Anna is so naiive she thinks the proposal and content baby will bind them together. But if you look at the way he’s treated his existing kids (proposing to a woman they’ve never met) it’s so clear that he doesn’t take these bonds that seriously.

If she was my friend I’d be so worried for her. Luckily she’s not, she’s a twit, and she’ll get a few years worth of tit content out of it (“Rebuilding myself fragile maternal brick by brick after being shattered by a narcissist” “From the outside my life looked perfect but my rich partner who held me in the hole would become the hole in which I was dragged with a visceral force” “I tried so hard to be sexy to keep my partner interested after the birth of our baby… here’s why I was breaking inside and I am starting a SEXY CAMPAIGN to tell other women that they shouldn’t have to do it”)
 
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SharkAttack said:
Amazing recap and love the pay details, too. That really is not a lot for two families living the high spending (nannies, far flung hols, I’m guessing private schools…) life they do.

ETA cross post @Santa23 - I bet you’re right about the lodger, too.
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I assume his parents pay for schooling. In a lot of cases that’s what’s happening
 
heddaverse said:
Reckon the nanny with the fishy fanny is a sort of au pair Mother’s help type thing. Not being paid proper nanny rates, probably helps out with the kids in exchange for a room and internet exposure.

Definitely does not earn enough for 5 kids at private school. Probably doesn’t earn enough for his 3 kids at private school without family money (which I assume will not cover Anna and Matt’s kids whatever happens).
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If I was Anna tbh I’d be terrified, this guy makes no sense. I can see her motivation for the wedding (content, securing the bag, getting a win over her ex)… but what is his?

I genuinely can’t see how a rational lawyer decides to marry a stranger he got pregnant on the first or second date. Who is married to someone else. The potential random financial exposures give me a headache. You’d think having been divorced before (which I’m guessing was expensive) he’d be more wary.

My strong feeling is that he’s the kind of guy who would lovebomb, let Anna get all carried away planning a wedding basically by herself and then tap out a few months before because he wasn’t feeling it. And his friends and family would all shrug and say yes he is a bit like that, we hoped it would work out but you did get pregnant without knowing each other really.

I feel like Anna is so naiive she thinks the proposal and content baby will bind them together. But if you look at the way he’s treated his existing kids (proposing to a woman they’ve never met) it’s so clear that he doesn’t take these bonds that seriously.

If she was my friend I’d be so worried for her. Luckily she’s not, she’s a twit, and she’ll get a few years worth of tit content out of it (“Rebuilding myself fragile maternal brick by brick after being shattered by a narcissist” “From the outside my life looked perfect but my rich partner who held me in the hole would become the hole in which I was dragged with a visceral force” “I tried so hard to be sexy to keep my partner interested after the birth of our baby… here’s why I was breaking inside and I am starting a SEXY CAMPAIGN to tell other women that they shouldn’t have to do it”)
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Welcome to Tattle. You fit right in! (NOT snark!).
 
Santa23 said:
She therefore can't be a nanny and I think she's the lodger. There's no way on this earth his salary is covering a nanny, rent of a seemingly large central London house (plus bills), assuming 2 x children at private school, a Mercedes (seen in the car seat story), ex wife and kids maintenance and some. I think she's lodging to fund said life and they maybe cut her rent for babysitting hours
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Don’t forget GLFS earns a substantial wage for all the adverts and her silly stage show etc. it’s not to be underestimated how much she is bringing in.
 
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