Mother in law experiences #4

1
Things had been good for a while with the MIL. She has been acting like a normal person for ages. I thought maybe she'd turned a corner. Then suddenly she out-cunts herself from nowhere this weekend.

She's never been a dick to me personally but her behaviour is crappy in general and towards other people.

I used to think my FIL was a doormat but I've come to learn she's quite subtly emotionally abused him into submission and her actions recently made it really obvious.
 
Rant incoming.

I have posted before about mother in law not respecting our boundaries.

She out did herself yesterday, all went for a meal insisted upon by her even though it’s stressful with a toddler and a baby.
her other grandchild was up too staying with her.
she tells our toddler he’s going to the park with her and the other grandchild
When I say no, cue huge meltdown from our toddler which causes her to cry in the street outside and she insists on holding his hand whilst I’m holding him as she said ‘I’m letting him down’ he wants me.
when I explained he quite often has huge tantrums like this and it’s because she’d caused due to telling him he’s going to park she said she’d never said it!
who cries over their grandchild having a tantrum? If anyone should have cried it would be me as he was kicking and scratching me in the face! She’s not the full ticket.
 
amiallowedtoexpressmyview said:
Rant incoming.

I have posted before about mother in law not respecting our boundaries.

She out did herself yesterday, all went for a meal insisted upon by her even though it’s stressful with a toddler and a baby.
her other grandchild was up too staying with her.
she tells our toddler he’s going to the park with her and the other grandchild
When I say no, cue huge meltdown from our toddler which causes her to cry in the street outside and she insists on holding his hand whilst I’m holding him as she said ‘I’m letting him down’ he wants me.
when I explained he quite often has huge tantrums like this and it’s because she’d caused due to telling him he’s going to park she said she’d never said it!
who cries over their grandchild having a tantrum? If anyone should have cried it would be me as he was kicking and scratching me in the face! She’s not the full ticket.
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I have my adult child, partner & grandchild living with me, as a result, I don’t get to do as much ‘fun’ stuff as the other grandparents but I take a lot from having the benefit of a snatched few minutes are various points in the day & am very careful to not overstep my boundaries, remembering various things my parents did that I wasn’t happy with as a young parent. Your MIL needs to know her boundaries, know what’s ok to promise your kids and what isn’t, as well as learning to let tantrums run their course.
 
CrazyGiraffeLady said:
My baby was 5 weeks early, none of my partners side knew we were expecting and now my baby is a month old and no one’s even asked to see her🙃.
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i can count on one hand the amount of times i've met my dad's mum (when she didn't run on to the bus away from me when i recognised her at 7 years old). my life is so much better without the old bag in it. with no due respect to them and if your partner is on the same page, duck them off and look after yourselves - from experience your baby will thank you ❤
 
knivesnflowers said:
i can count on one hand the amount of times i've met my dad's mum (when she didn't run on to the bus away from me when i recognised her at 7 years old). my life is so much better without the old bag in it. with no due respect to them and if your partner is on the same page, duck them off and look after yourselves - from experience your baby will thank you ❤
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He’s on the same page thankfully but I know it upsets him seeing the favoured grandchildren having a relationship with them and our kids are ignored. Their loss I suppose 💖
 
So... my MIL (who I haven't seen for over 20 years) likes to stalk us on FB (now she's too old to do it in real life).

Every so often I search for her name because she makes new profiles (presumably because people keep blocking her). I've just blocked the latest one, bringing the grand total to 10 blocked profiles.

thankfully she hasn't worked out that she could just make a profile in another name and I'd be none the wiser lol
 
Funny at Easter she come round to drop eggs etc for the kids and couldn't find it within her to shout hello upstairs to me. Finds out about the baby a few days later and now she's asking my fella to send me love and give me a big kiss from her AND wants us to name the baby after her. Yeeeeeee righttttttt.
 
Lucyxxxx said:
Funny at Easter she come round to drop eggs etc for the kids and couldn't find it within her to shout hello upstairs to me. Finds out about the baby a few days later and now she's asking my fella to send me love and give me a big kiss from her AND wants us to name the baby after her. Yeeeeeee righttttttt.
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What is the deal with them wanting babies named after them? Mine tried that... (I must have told this story before)

I had MiniDanDan about a year after my Mum died, me and MrDanDan had a lot of discussions about whether her name would feature but decided against it because:

1. My dad (and myself) found it too upsetting
and
2. We knew MIL would demand equal billing on the birth certificate

So we chose a perfectly normal nice random name with no family history on either side.... We had the child (MIL was annoying in the run up and, without us giving her information, found the hospital we were in and spammed them with phone calls the entire time). My first interaction with the outside world was a midwife poking her head round the door 15 minutes after the fact and telling me my mum was on the phone (yes, she pretended to be my dead mum to get info but we'll gloss over that today lol).

Anyway, they arrived the next morning (uninvited) and when we spoke about the name she uttered the immortal words "I think 'MiniDanDan MILSurname-DanDanSurname' would be nice"

Yes... that's right. She wanted a double barrelled surname but with her maiden name. Nothing to do with me at all lol, we were all too stunned to speak and so it went unchallenged.
 
MIL has left me fuming today, well OH too but that’s another issue.
They took the kids out to the park in a car without any car seats in it, I actually cannot put into words how angry I am about it. Useless OH went along with this despite knowing how safety aware I am and how angry I would be. I found this out via my 4yo. I actually don’t know what to do/say. Any advice?
 
Hashtagged said:
MIL has left me fuming today, well OH too but that’s another issue.
They took the kids out to the park in a car without any car seats in it, I actually cannot put into words how angry I am about it. Useless OH went along with this despite knowing how safety aware I am and how angry I would be. I found this out via my 4yo. I actually don’t know what to do/say. Any advice?
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This is a massive issue I have with my MIL too. Insists my 3 years old legs are too long to rear face. I have lost count how many times I've had my OH speak to her about it. One time she started by saying. I think XX should forward face and before she could even get the next word out her mouth I said no, she will rear face. I feel she gets on to my OH about it as he questioned it with me and I ended up showing him pics showing that my daughter was clearly comfortable rear facing and there was no issue with her legs. The no car seats is crazy. I don't think I'd allow my daughter back in the car if my MIL done this. Why can't they just do as they are asked? They forget the are grandparents and not parents and try to make the decisions.
 
heythere! said:
This is a massive issue I have with my MIL too. Insists my 3 years old legs are too long to rear face. I have lost count how many times I've had my OH speak to her about it. One time she started by saying. I think XX should forward face and before she could even get the next word out her mouth I said no, she will rear face. I feel she gets on to my OH about it as he questioned it with me and I ended up showing him pics showing that my daughter was clearly comfortable rear facing and there was no issue with her legs. The no car seats is crazy. I don't think I'd allow my daughter back in the car if my MIL done this. Why can't they just do as they are asked? They forget the are grandparents and not parents and try to make the decisions.
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I had to explain that broken legs were repairable whereas a broken neck wasn’t, when it came to extended rear facing. This was with my own parents. They meant well and wanted to buy a super expensive seat so their precious grandson would be safe - but I had to insist it was rear facing. He was about 15 months I think.
 
NoHintOfDrama said:
I had to explain that broken legs were repairable whereas a broken neck wasn’t, when it came to extended rear facing. This was with my own parents. They meant well and wanted to buy a super expensive seat so their precious grandson would be safe - but I had to insist it was rear facing. He was about 15 months I think.
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Had that exact conversation as well. My MIL just can't get it. Says if you have a crash from behind the glass from the back window would break and land on my little one if rear facing. Like you said I had to say what about her neck that may break. Just do as you are told. I literally need to watch her put my little one in the car to make sure she rear faces. Ridiculous really.
 
heythere! said:
Had that exact conversation as well. My MIL just can't get it. Says if you have a crash from behind the glass from the back window would break and land on my little one if rear facing. Like you said I had to say what about her neck that may break. Just do as you are told. I literally need to watch her put my little one in the car to make sure she rear faces. Ridiculous really.
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Well I've been in a pile up due to an out of control truck, and although the noise sounded like a burst chandelier none of the windows smashed. So tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it!
 
My Mil is the devil incarnate and textbook definition of a narcissist. She physically and mentally abused my husband when he was a child and if that’s not bad enough she never went to his school to report him being bullied and instead started to call him the names that the bullies called him at school 🥲 he left at 17 and joined military as if he didn’t he would’ve gone down a very wrong path. He has done so well for himself after leaving school with nothing, not once has she congratulated him. Even now she refuses to admit any wrongdoing and says he is over-reacting and needs to get over it! This has massively affected his entire life and for that I totally despise her. He has delayed PTSD which started 5 years ago once she came back to the uk from Spain and she deliberately goads him and just talks about herself constantly. She love bombs him and her grandsons only if we invite her to ours as she never makes any effort or goes out her way to do anything for us. If we didn’t invite her every weekend she would get the hunp and say he was abandoning her and she can’t do anything herself apparently!

She’s 73 and apparently a guy in his thirties is after her 🤣 totally deluded to duck. She has never bought a house in uk when she came back from Spain as she’s holding out for a lottery win to get the house she feels she deserves 🤣 She claims to us she counts all her pennies but looks down her nose at absolutely everyone with her misplaced snobbery and I can’t stand people that think they are better than others.
She is very jealous of what we have but we’ve worked bloody hard for it. She hates me and constantly brings up stories about my husbands first wife even though apparently she never liked her,
She constantly nit picks at my husband and I for words we may not use correctly and apparently because I’m from Scotland I don’t use correct terms in some sentences 🤣 FML!!! Anyway husband has now seen the damage she caused him clearly and has stopped speaking to her after their last argument when she stormed out our house.
 
Fisharr said:
My Mil is the devil incarnate and textbook definition of a narcissist. She physically and mentally abused my husband when he was a child and if that’s not bad enough she never went to his school to report him being bullied and instead started to call him the names that the bullies called him at school 🥲 he left at 17 and joined military as if he didn’t he would’ve gone down a very wrong path. He has done so well for himself after leaving school with nothing, not once has she congratulated him. Even now she refuses to admit any wrongdoing and says he is over-reacting and needs to get over it! This has massively affected his entire life and for that I totally despise her. He has delayed PTSD which started 5 years ago once she came back to the uk from Spain and she deliberately goads him and just talks about herself constantly. She love bombs him and her grandsons only if we invite her to ours as she never makes any effort or goes out her way to do anything for us. If we didn’t invite her every weekend she would get the hunp and say he was abandoning her and she can’t do anything herself apparently!

She’s 73 and apparently a guy in his thirties is after her 🤣 totally deluded to duck. She has never bought a house in uk when she came back from Spain as she’s holding out for a lottery win to get the house she feels she deserves 🤣 She claims to us she counts all her pennies but looks down her nose at absolutely everyone with her misplaced snobbery and I can’t stand people that think they are better than others.
She is very jealous of what we have but we’ve worked bloody hard for it. She hates me and constantly brings up stories about my husbands first wife even though apparently she never liked her,
She constantly nit picks at my husband and I for words we may not use correctly and apparently because I’m from Scotland I don’t use correct terms in some sentences 🤣 FML!!! Anyway husband has now seen the damage she caused him clearly and has stopped speaking to her after their last argument when she stormed out our house.
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Why on earth do you still have so much contact?
 
Fisharr said:
My Mil is the devil incarnate and textbook definition of a narcissist. She physically and mentally abused my husband when he was a child and if that’s not bad enough she never went to his school to report him being bullied and instead started to call him the names that the bullies called him at school 🥲 he left at 17 and joined military as if he didn’t he would’ve gone down a very wrong path. He has done so well for himself after leaving school with nothing, not once has she congratulated him. Even now she refuses to admit any wrongdoing and says he is over-reacting and needs to get over it! This has massively affected his entire life and for that I totally despise her. He has delayed PTSD which started 5 years ago once she came back to the uk from Spain and she deliberately goads him and just talks about herself constantly. She love bombs him and her grandsons only if we invite her to ours as she never makes any effort or goes out her way to do anything for us. If we didn’t invite her every weekend she would get the hunp and say he was abandoning her and she can’t do anything herself apparently!

She’s 73 and apparently a guy in his thirties is after her 🤣 totally deluded to duck. She has never bought a house in uk when she came back from Spain as she’s holding out for a lottery win to get the house she feels she deserves 🤣 She claims to us she counts all her pennies but looks down her nose at absolutely everyone with her misplaced snobbery and I can’t stand people that think they are better than others.
She is very jealous of what we have but we’ve worked bloody hard for it. She hates me and constantly brings up stories about my husbands first wife even though apparently she never liked her,
She constantly nit picks at my husband and I for words we may not use correctly and apparently because I’m from Scotland I don’t use correct terms in some sentences 🤣 FML!!! Anyway husband has now seen the damage she caused him clearly and has stopped speaking to her after their last argument when she stormed out our house.
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She would never be invited to my house, I hope your husband finds the strength to to go non contact there’s no coming back from being treated like that. She doesn’t deserve to be in your lives.
 
Well my "mother in law" shall use quotations marks as she isn't any sort of mother to my partner, and today in the middle of morrisons she punched me in the nose. There's a massive backstory but she hates me just for dating her son who she gave up for adoption and then rejected him as an adult.
 
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